|Home / Writing Feedback [23,269] - page 18 of 388|
|To Make Public Education Better in S.Korea
2 - Chaeun, is this supposed to be a research paper or an opinion paper? I am confused as to what...
Writing Feedbackhanuely - Jun 25, 2018 / Holt - Jun 26, 2018
|Similarity and Difference between Child and Adult Language Acquisition
2 - Chaeun, the major problems that I see with this research paper stem from the non-academic tone that you have...
Writing Feedbackhanuely - Jun 25, 2018 / Holt - Jun 26, 2018
|Relocation to cities in order to look for a job.
3 - @ismigyul you have the right idea regarding the discussion for this essay topic but you have the wrong approach...
Writing Feedbackismigyul - Jun 25, 2018 / Holt - Jun 26, 2018
|Has knowledge about the past value for those of us living today?
3 - imchang, , your response to the essay is right on the mark. However, your extent response is not appropriate....
Writing Feedbackimchang - Jun 25, 2018 / Holt - Jun 26, 2018
|IELTS - The digital and traditional newspapers
6 - Hi, I agree with Holts suggestion on deciding which side you are 'agree' or' disagree' and focus on...
Writing Feedbackhyperephania - Jun 22, 2018 / Kino18 - Jun 25, 2018
|Several advantages of playing sport games
4 - Your essay has a lot of 'they', 'therefore', and 'children'. I understand why you are using it but why...
Writing Feedbackhoanghadhtm - Jun 19, 2018 / hanuely - Jun 25, 2018
|TEACHING CHILDREN THE LITERATURE THEIR OWN COUNTRY - OTHER COUNTRIES
3 - Nana, it is evident that you have misunderstood the prompt you were provided for discussion. The prompt instruction is...
Writing Feedbacksumidakanae - Jun 24, 2018 / Holt - Jun 25, 2018
|Why do we need music? And what about 'traditional' tracks? Aren't they obsolete today?
Writing Feedbackhanaa1989 - Jun 22, 2018 / hanaa1989 - Jun 25, 2018
|IELTS - Artists have more attention than scientists
5 - Thank you, I should have mentioned that artists are more visible through their work more than scientists. For example,...
Writing FeedbackMTALY - Jun 22, 2018 / MTALY - Jun 24, 2018
|Some countries have a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of elderlies
3 - Hi Holt, Thank you for your feedback. I did review the site that I am referring to improve my...
Writing FeedbackKino18 - Jun 22, 2018 / Kino18 - Jun 24, 2018
|Should government be fully responsible for the underprivileged people?
7 - @Holt I did not notice that I have repeated thesis statement. Thank you very much for the review, as...
Writing Feedbackjalp - Jun 9, 2018 / jalp - Jun 24, 2018
|The advertisers use advanced techniques to show their products better and more attractive. TOEFL
Writing Feedbacksalvia - Jun 22, 2018 / salvia - Jun 23, 2018
|IELTS GT Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world.
2 - Franciane, your essay suffers in terms of C&C in some sections. For example, I am unclear about what you...
Writing Feedbackfrancigd - Jun 22, 2018 / Holt - Jun 23, 2018
|What invention in the last 30 years has made the most difference in the lives of people?
3 - @pp50123 You have chosen some very good lines of reasoning for the topic you chose to discuss in this...
Writing Feedbackpp50123 - Jun 22, 2018 / Holt - Jun 23, 2018
|Essay about the charts' summarization - money for children's sports in Britain
2 - Linh, your paper has a factual error located within it. The first error is that you are citing the...
Writing FeedbackLinh Pham - Jun 22, 2018 / Holt - Jun 23, 2018
|Many employers are now offering their employees the option to work from home.
4 - Hello, do you mean i should write 5 paragraph? Paragraph 1: Introduction Paragraph 2: Opinion Paragraph 3: Reason...
Writing Feedbackcherny - Jun 21, 2018 / cherny - Jun 22, 2018
|IELTS - useful or harmful chemicals in our food
3 - Franciane, I can say that you have a good understanding of the topic provided for discussion. However, you do...
Writing Feedbackfrancigd - Jun 21, 2018 / Holt - Jun 22, 2018
|IELTS; The media should reduce bad news that they write or say
3 - Artin, it is difficult to help you. I am unsure about how to advise you regarding possible improvements to...
Writing FeedbackIMRXI - Jun 21, 2018 / Holt - Jun 22, 2018
|The youngster population surpass the number of older people in some countries
3 - Nguyen, this is a direct response question. The response should be coming from a singular point of view. A...
Writing Feedbackkhanhmeoxx - Jun 21, 2018 / Holt - Jun 22, 2018
|Should we allow children to make their own decisions on a common matters (such as food or clothes)
6 - Na na, I got special permission to expand on my explanation to you. This is going to happen only...
Writing FeedbackChiuviu - Jun 18, 2018 / Holt - Jun 21, 2018
|Some people become famous at young age. Is it good thing or bad thing?
5 - Hoa, you were only asked whether the topic provided was a good or bad thing. To exaggerate the response...
Writing Feedbacksoulpancake - Jun 20, 2018 / Holt - Jun 21, 2018
|Some people think that the teenager years are the happiest times of most people's lives.
3 - "In spite of that sometimes teens ..." I think this sentence is contradicting to your reason in second...
Writing FeedbackAmelie - Jun 16, 2018 / cherny - Jun 20, 2018
|Some parent allow their children to get busy with paid work
3 - Yi, the reference in the essay is people, not "parents". Therefore, you should not have used the parental reference...
Writing Feedbackcherny - Jun 19, 2018 / Holt - Jun 20, 2018
|(CBEST)- A sharp increases in the minimum wage or no
4 - Queenie, your approach to this essay is too simple for a CBEST essay. The way you wrote it only...
Writing Feedbacknguyenqn - Jun 18, 2018 / Holt - Jun 20, 2018
|Practical ideas, and the life guidance suggestions
Writing Feedbackjessig - Jun 17, 2018 / cherny - Jun 19, 2018
|In order to improve a country's education system.... criticize teachers?
3 - Gian, when writing the prompt paraphrase, you must never repeat any word or phrase from the original. So, rather...
Writing Feedbackgdoan1104 - Jun 18, 2018 / Holt - Jun 19, 2018
|The question about publication of crucial scientific information - Ielts writing task 2 cambrige 12
4 - Vu, due to the fact that your essay totally discusses only your point of view rather than the two...
Writing Feedbackthi112233 - Jun 18, 2018 / Holt - Jun 19, 2018
|IELTS Writing Task 2 Discuss both point of view: should children learn mathematic in school
4 - @vannguyetthanh how to write conclusion in this type of question? i mean the 2 side of views question....
Writing Feedbackcherny - Jun 16, 2018 / cherny - Jun 18, 2018
|Participating in voluntary work in which youngsters provide support for others
2 - Hi, I think your essay is very clear and well-structured. I just see this structure rather strange: "this,...
Writing FeedbackChris Farm - Jun 18, 2018 / Chiuviu - Jun 18, 2018
|Should people date at a young age?
2 - Hoa, for starters, your first short paragraph is already a complete essay presentation unto itself. The Task 2 essay...
Writing Feedbacksoulpancake - Jun 16, 2018 / Holt - Jun 17, 2018
|In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents' home.
3 - Chuni, your sentence lose cohesiveness and coherence because you are writing run-on sentences in every paragraph. Overly long sentences...
Writing FeedbackChuni lal - Jun 16, 2018 / Holt - Jun 17, 2018
|What are the similarities and differences between children and adults in acquiring language?
4 - Thanks for your informative comments. This essay was my midterm paper and my foreign teacher gave me a good...
Writing FeedbackDani96 - Jun 16, 2018 / Dani96 - Jun 17, 2018
|Should share information as much as possible? IELS 12 Test 5 Task 2
3 - your conclusion and third paragraphs are contradicting, in the other point of view, you have described that knowledge/information of...
Writing Feedbackcherny - Jun 15, 2018 / Chuni lal - Jun 16, 2018
|IELTS Writing Task 2- Influence of television and computer games on children.
4 - Thi, you misunderstood the prompt requirements. You were being asked to discuss both points of view from a general...
Writing FeedbackThanh Nguyen - Jun 15, 2018 / Holt - Jun 16, 2018
|The number of graduates and postgradutes in Britain in terms of the work they did after study
2 - Hien, I found this essay to be highly confusing. lacking in a clear singular trending sentence, and not really...
Writing FeedbackHien N - Jun 15, 2018 / Holt - Jun 16, 2018
|Online education as a replacement to traditional education. Which is more benefitial for a student?
3 - Thank you very much for the review and grateful for the samples and approach you have mentioned. I focused...
Writing Feedbackjalp - Jun 12, 2018 / jalp - Jun 14, 2018
|Universities can control the number of seats in the different subjects
3 - Diksha, while the approach that you took to writing this essay is one of the many possible methods of...
Writing Feedbackny14 - Jun 12, 2018 / Holt - Jun 13, 2018
|The impacts of the technological development to the comunication of both individuals and society.
2 - Daisy. I wish you had provided the original prompt for this discussion so that I could have a better...
Writing FeedbackDaisybee - Jun 11, 2018 / Holt - Jun 12, 2018
|Performing daily tasks without meeting people face-to-face and its effects
2 - Dam, this essay will receive a major deduction in points, which will definitely prevent it from getting a passing...
Writing Feedbackphuonganhms - Jun 11, 2018 / Holt - Jun 12, 2018
|Some people choose to stay unoccupied instead of taking up a job which does not fit to their hobby
3 - Nguyen, while you have some pretty good talking points in this essay, your discussions are not developed beyond that....
Writing FeedbackXuanquynh0812 - Jun 11, 2018 / Holt - Jun 12, 2018
|Speaking a second language fluently makes a significant change in your life
3 - Chrissanth, you have managed to create a paragraph that has informative talking points but does not really explain the...
Writing FeedbackChrissanth_12 - Jun 10, 2018 / Holt - Jun 11, 2018
|Tourism is an important industry in Taiwan.
Writing FeedbackChong - Jun 10, 2018 / Holt - Jun 11, 2018
|IELTS Task 2 - Should we abandon our convenient lifestyle?
Writing Feedbackrubychautran - Jun 10, 2018 / rubychautran - Jun 10, 2018
|Knowledge gained from personal experience or from books and other printed material; which is better?
4 - Kim, this being a compare and contrast essay, the approach should have been coming first from a public approach...
Writing FeedbackKim Truong - Jun 9, 2018 / Holt - Jun 10, 2018
|Legalizing Same-Sex Marriage - Argumentative essay
2 - @mei987 your argument is flawed and incorrect as the US Supreme Court has already upheld the validity of same...
Writing Feedbackmei987 - Jun 9, 2018 / Holt - Jun 10, 2018
|IELTS1: the percentage of rural, suburban populations in the Northwest Region between 1990 and 2050.
2 - Hai, let's start with your mistakes in using English terms. A century is equivalent to 100 years. 50 years...
Writing Feedbackcloverjm - Jun 9, 2018 / Holt - Jun 10, 2018
|Do u think there were more advantages-disadvantages to be part of a large family in the past? IELTS2
5 - Here are some my personal views about your essay: Your introduction: you grab the reader's attention successfully by an...
Writing FeedbackChrissanth_12 - Jun 8, 2018 / Kim Truong - Jun 9, 2018
|Enviroment problem - forest protection necessity
2 - Please include the complete prompt for your essay. It is difficult to review when you have an incomplete topic....
Writing Feedbackhungbui - Jun 9, 2018 / jalp - Jun 9, 2018
|The paragraph in response to the topic: the disadvantages of being left-handed.
3 - Tung, the disadvantages of being left handed is not referred as "downsized" but rather "down sides". There are two...
Writing FeedbackTung - Jun 8, 2018 / Holt - Jun 9, 2018
|What members of a city sports club think about the club's activities, facilities and opening hours?
Writing Feedbackrubychautran - Jun 7, 2018 / rubychautran - Jun 8, 2018
|Should universities apply business-like skills instead of providing theoretical knowledge?
4 - Quan, in addition to what Tran pointed out above, I would like to offer you a reminder when writing...
Writing Feedbackminhquan2121 - Jun 6, 2018 / Holt - Jun 8, 2018
|Social and practical problems abroad without local language knowledge
5 - Thewin, try to avoid using the same phrases in the prompt restatement as was used in the original. Your...
Writing Feedbackkruhem - Jun 7, 2018 / Holt - Jun 8, 2018
|(GRE) Is it necessary for people questioning the authority?
4 - For starters, essays of these kind, analytical essays, do not always have to agree with a given statement. It...
Writing Feedbackyjhsgi - Jun 6, 2018 / Holt - Jun 8, 2018
|Drunken Irony | A Literary Criticism of "The Drunkard" by Frank O'Connor and its underlying irony |
2 - Alex, it would be better if you present the types of irony within the story in a chronological manner....
Writing Feedbackalpal227 - Jun 7, 2018 / Holt - Jun 7, 2018
|International aid for the development plans for developing countries
3 - Hi there. I have some opinions about your second paragraph. You see, you didn't really provide any supporting reason...
Writing FeedbackChuni lal - Jun 5, 2018 / rubychautran - Jun 7, 2018
|IELTS TASK comment and maybe give me the band for this essay)
3 - Hi, I thought your report was pretty clear. One point you might have mentioned is that even though their...
Writing Feedbackroxana_0610 - Jun 6, 2018 / TJLuschen - Jun 6, 2018
|Levels of youth crime are getting higher in major cities in Viet Nam. Analyze reasons and solutions.
2 - U should pay attention to adj and v value--valuable aware--awareness "the action of thieves" is not correct "that they...
Writing FeedbackJollie - Jun 6, 2018 / JohnsonFan - Jun 6, 2018
|Whether working or going on further study after graduation? Discuss both views.
2 - To obtain obtaining a job ... brings to people much has numerous advantages in some ways. Due to ...
Writing Feedbackhuyennguyen203 - Jun 6, 2018 / roxana_0610 - Jun 6, 2018
|Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow them to do whatever they want
3 - Tran, I like the way that you presented your ideas in this essay. You should have expanded upon your...
Writing Feedbackhieuttbk - Jun 5, 2018 / Holt - Jun 6, 2018
|[TOEFL]Keeping their rooms tidy and organized, students have a chance to get closer to success
2 - some words are not used appropriately like... Different kind of books have their positions accordingly and the...
Writing FeedbackClara_cyy - Jun 5, 2018 / Chuni lal - Jun 5, 2018
|Home / Writing Feedback|