|Writing Feedback [23,062] - page 239 of 385|
|The Effects of Using Cell phone in school
12 - Hello dumi, Pahan, and ldlsky03 I am very grateful for your attendance and giving me beneficial comments. I...
Writing FeedbackRasam - Jul 19, 2013 / Rasam - Jul 20, 2013
|Unbalanced approach, does not hold true in all situation - Praise positive actions, ignore negative
4 - Yep.... it's always better to indicate the purpose of your writing as your responses need to be aligned...
Writing FeedbackKashifa - Jul 20, 2013 / dumi - Jul 20, 2013
|TOEFL Essay "There is too much violence in movies"
Writing FeedbackSemehenM - Jul 14, 2013 / SemehenM - Jul 20, 2013
|Traditional Foods Vs International Fast- Foods; Discuss
Writing FeedbackEKA350 - Jul 16, 2013 / EKA350 - Jul 20, 2013
|What sort of knowledge and skills that universities should provide?
4 - State your opinion here in the introduction. That helps you navigate the reader in your desired direction. Here you...
Writing Feedbackorxan88 - Jul 13, 2013 / dumi - Jul 20, 2013
|Increasing petrol prices- immediate solution, but temporary!
3 - As a result of increasing population and development of transportation technologies, the world today is faced with new...
Writing Feedbackmahgh123 - Jul 17, 2013 / dumi - Jul 20, 2013
|Teaching the Facts after students have studied concepts; CLEP English Composition
4 - I feel you need to improve your essay structure. Your body paragraphs are somewhat disorganized. I like the structure...
Writing Feedbackdarshanpatel123 - Jul 19, 2013 / Pahan - Jul 20, 2013
|IELTS; Technology Vs Survival of Traditional Cultures - Are they incompatible?
6 - Although in some exceptional circumstances there seems to be some levels of compatibility Basically, internet have led to...
Writing FeedbackParsalove - Jul 13, 2013 / fred123 - Jul 20, 2013
|"Practice makes you perfect"; Opinion Essay/ Classroom Assignment
2 - well... your opening statement looks a bit too crowded and complicated. Present it more clearly with a punch....
Writing Feedbackningo - Jul 18, 2013 / dumi - Jul 19, 2013
|Will technology deteriorates our ability to think?
4 - First, I wish to request you to post this type of essays into "Writing Feedback" forum. Also, try to...
Writing Feedbackharsha138 - Jul 19, 2013 / dumi - Jul 19, 2013
|"a fish new to water"; educational institutions should guide the students
2 - .... I think this sounds too harsh. You better say that uneducated people are not well recognized in...
Writing Feedbackbangaram - Jul 19, 2013 / dumi - Jul 19, 2013
|IELTS TASK 2: What factors are important in achieving happiness?Depend on individuals
Writing Feedbacknancy07 - Jul 18, 2013 / Shumaila86 - Jul 19, 2013
|IELTS TASK 1; Reasons for Adult Studying (Charts)
2 - hi... writing task 1 is quite easy if you just remember few rules. there ere few sentences that you...
Writing Feedbackremzy - Jul 19, 2013 / Shumaila86 - Jul 19, 2013
|GRE - 'Correlation between monitoring and productivity of the employees'
Writing Feedbackshadman19922 - Jul 18, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 19, 2013
|IELTS T 2:A large number of death are caused by road accidents. Why do so many....?
4 - Please post this type of essays into Writing Feedback forum. .... despite of so many attempts being...
Writing FeedbackParsalove - Jul 18, 2013 / dumi - Jul 19, 2013
|IELTS: some people argue modern works of art are not really art, people are being led
3 - ... this is not grammatically correct, plus it fails to deliver your idea clearly. Modern works of art...
Writing Feedbackfred123 - Jul 19, 2013 / dumi - Jul 19, 2013
|TOELF TOPIC:big party including lots of people VS small party including close friends
9 - hi 1-I think it is better to rewrite the essay in 4 paragraph 2- for an argumentative essay just...
Writing Feedbacksherry manson - Jul 4, 2013 / nazgol - Jul 19, 2013
|globalization and its advatages and disadvantages
4 - thank you.......
Writing Feedbackrozha - Jul 18, 2013 / rozha - Jul 19, 2013
|Bearing arms and violence in a country - GRE Analyze an issue
Writing Feedbackshadman19922 - Jul 16, 2013 / bepe5n - Jul 18, 2013
|IELTS: How can income generated by tourism benefit the poor?
2 - You've discussed the importance and the impact of tourism, but... You haven't really told me what could...
Writing Feedbackfred123 - Jul 17, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 17, 2013
|The most beneficial Discovery for people in my country in the last 100 years
7 - this has several isssues :( grammar, clarity, presentation :( there are a lot of significant discoveries ...
Writing Feedbackmileynguyen - Jul 10, 2013 / dumi - Jul 17, 2013
|IELTS: Task 1: Quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002
2 - .... illustrates is a better word.... Also I wish if you changed the this slightly; The line graph...
Writing FeedbackImaaan - Jul 17, 2013 / dumi - Jul 17, 2013
|IELTS; Relationship of Personal Happiness and Economic Success
7 - But, I personally believe that happiness differ from one person to others . To reach the ladder of...
Writing FeedbackSiderri - Jul 15, 2013 / fred123 - Jul 17, 2013
|Case of a Loan for a Jazz Music Club in Monroe City; GRE Argument essay
3 - ... well... your argument as to measuring profitability is correct... profitability depends on the factors you have...
Writing FeedbackGREASPI - Jul 7, 2013 / dumi - Jul 17, 2013
|TOEFL; Nowadays, dependence on neighbors is much less compared to previous eras
Writing Feedbackaxn1118 - Jul 11, 2013 / axn1118 - Jul 17, 2013
|Living individual or staying in apartments is better
5 - Hi Naveen, I would like to help you! First pay attention to your essay structure. Have a clear understanding...
Writing FeedbackNaveen 54 - Jul 17, 2013 / dumi - Jul 17, 2013
|Is it important that young people should know about history of their country?
6 - Thank you!...
Writing FeedbackChristen - Jul 13, 2013 / Christen - Jul 17, 2013
|IELTS TASK2:HOME-COOKED VS BUYING FOODS - which is better?
13 - I perfectly get your point on these statements and I am totally in favor about what you said....
Writing Feedbackgmad06 - Jul 16, 2013 / gmad06 - Jul 17, 2013
|avoid routine; Dormitory rooms at your university must be shared by two students
2 - One of the most important things for students in their student lives is their roommates. It is important because...
Writing FeedbackFardin - Jul 16, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 16, 2013
|TOEFL; GRADES ARE A GOOD INDICATOR FOR ASSESSING STUDENTS
Writing Feedbackrozha - Jul 16, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 16, 2013
|GRE ISSUE: People most respect the powerful not when they exercise their power, .....
Writing Feedbackmorning - Jul 16, 2013 / Naveen 54 - Jul 16, 2013
|TOEFL Essay Money is the best way to motivate people
10 - .... why do you say money is an effortless motivator.... The employer may have to put lots of...
Writing FeedbackSemehenM - Jul 14, 2013 / Pahan - Jul 16, 2013
|Have we harmed the Earth or made it a better place?
6 - A piece advice. Go for your straight opinion on your intro. For me no need to state (Before identifying...
Writing Feedbackpearpear017 - Jul 15, 2013 / Siderri - Jul 16, 2013
|GRE Analyze Issue;Best way to teach- praise positive actions and ignore negative ones
7 - ... Well... I think you need to strengthen the link between the first two lines with the latter....
Writing Feedbackshadman19922 - Jul 13, 2013 / dumi - Jul 16, 2013
|IELTS: should government support creative artists?
4 - (As evidence of this they point to cases in history when men of the art were not recognized by...
Writing Feedbackuzzle - Jul 14, 2013 / rozha - Jul 15, 2013
|Describe a museum in Iraq
Writing Feedbackmelectric - Jul 14, 2013 / melectric - Jul 15, 2013
|IELTS 'do everything by rules'; children learn to be good members of society
Writing Feedbackzzwestmanzz - Jul 10, 2013 / zzwestmanzz - Jul 15, 2013
|IELTS TASK2:Shopping as a replacement of hobbies and other leisure activities.
Writing Feedbackgmad06 - Jul 12, 2013 / gmad06 - Jul 14, 2013
|understand the most important characteristics of a society = study of major cities
Writing Feedbackatabati - Jul 14, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 14, 2013
|The influence of the internet has done more harm than good
6 - Well... I think you are pretty strong with grammar. However, you need to improve on vocabulary. If you don't...
Writing FeedbackDW6789 - Jul 10, 2013 / dumi - Jul 14, 2013
|Children's work at a early age - beneficial or a threat ?
3 - .... don't open your essay with sentences like these. Try to introduce your topic with more meaningful sentences....
Writing Feedbackninaaxtopol - Jul 13, 2013 / Pahan - Jul 14, 2013
|IELTS: Money for: successful sports professionals vs other important professions
Writing Feedbackfred123 - Jul 13, 2013 / KamilG - Jul 14, 2013
|What is the responsibility of an educational institution?
Writing FeedbackSulli - Jul 11, 2013 / Sulli - Jul 14, 2013
|TOEFL; Food is now easier to prepare than ever; Specific reasons & examples
7 - I'd recommend you to express your idea in the following way ...The enormous chain of the fast...
Writing Feedbackrozha - Jul 11, 2013 / SemehenM - Jul 14, 2013
|In this materialistic world only people who earn a lot of money are considered succesful
Writing FeedbackLakshani08 - Jul 13, 2013 / rozha - Jul 14, 2013
|IELTS TASK 2: GOVERNMENTS SHOULD BAN CIGARETTES AND OTHER TOBACCO PRODUCTS
5 - I guess there is no harm in including your position in the introduction. It affirms which stance you...
Writing Feedbackldlsky03 - Jul 13, 2013 / dumi - Jul 14, 2013
|Teachers should not encourage the children to think in the same way
4 - Thanks a lot...
Writing FeedbackSemehenM - Jul 13, 2013 / SemehenM - Jul 14, 2013
|SAT: Do changes that make life easier not necessarily make them better?
8 - ... be a bit more descriptive.... may be people have forgotten the details of WW2 :D ...lol the...
Writing Feedbacksamilli - Jul 10, 2013 / dumi - Jul 14, 2013
|academic writing course "compare social science and natural since"
4 - However, which science, natural or social , could claim to be the one that makes more meaningful contributions...
Writing Feedbackindividuum - Jul 11, 2013 / dumi - Jul 14, 2013
|TOEFL Essay-Movies should present positive values. Y or N ?
7 - It is better to use First,... and in the next passage - Second,... or Firstly and Secondly but not...
Writing Feedbackguy2010 - Jul 12, 2013 / SemehenM - Jul 13, 2013
|IELTS T2: In what ways has technology affected the types of relationship people make?
5 - On the other hand, technology can impact negatively on relationships between people. The rapid growth of...
Writing Feedbacknancy07 - Jul 11, 2013 / Pahan - Jul 12, 2013
|GRE Analyze an argument; Child-rearing traditions in Tertia
6 - Don't stop practicing! However, you are right that you shouldn't do so "mindlessly." Millions of kids (not that...
Writing Feedbackshadman19922 - Jul 10, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 12, 2013
|Any means can be taken to attain a worthy goal;GRE Issue
Writing FeedbackGREASPI - Jul 9, 2013 / Pahan - Jul 12, 2013
|TOEFL Essay about value life experience
6 - Thank you...
Writing FeedbackSemehenM - Jul 12, 2013 / SemehenM - Jul 12, 2013
|TOEFL - Do you like comfortable living or large amount of money?
4 - .... by changing the order, you can improve its flow and align your writing better with your topic;...
Writing Feedbackrozha - Jul 12, 2013 / Pahan - Jul 12, 2013
|Research Report three hostels in Sydney
2 - You better start with introducing the city and its connection to hostels; Sydney, the capital of Australia is...
Writing Feedbackmrbin - Jul 11, 2013 / dumi - Jul 12, 2013
|Living with Family vs. Living in dormitory While Studying in the University
3 - Thanks. It is not for TOEFL. it was an assignment.Well, i never wrote a good paragraph.And when i joined...
Writing Feedbackpositive thinkr - Jul 11, 2013 / positive thinkr - Jul 12, 2013
|Benefit of supermarket and how it affects on small buisness
4 - In conclusion., supermarkets and small shops collectively have a great role in our daily life, government should have such...
Writing Feedbackrozha - Jul 11, 2013 / rozha - Jul 12, 2013
|TOEFL/ Do you agree that professional athletes deserve high salaries ?
8 - .... "show up" or "appear". As April April suggested, "appear" sounds better. get involved with many...
Writing Feedbackelan - Jul 11, 2013 / dumi - Jul 12, 2013
|TOEFL- How people's behavior is influenced by TV and movies?
4 - There are many mistakes in your essay . I suggest you shoud make your sentences short , easy to...
Writing FeedbackErgenekon - Jul 11, 2013 / yucky - Jul 12, 2013
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