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|Some people believe in the traditional idea that the woman's place is in the home......
Writing Feedbackbash_shell - Dec 30, 2013 / dumi - Jan 2, 2014
|IELTS Task 2 - Everyone should stay in school until age of eighteen. Agree or disagree?
3 - The best way to aim for a better score is to follow an appropriate essay structure that helps...
Writing FeedbackmayaRa - Jan 1, 2014 / dumi - Jan 2, 2014
|teaching statement for faculty position; my experience; teaching philosophy
Writing Feedbacksafaabu - Dec 31, 2013 / mayaRa - Jan 1, 2014
|IELTS; Can you justify high earnings of sports professionals?
2 - Improve on your introduction. As dumi suggests in this forum, This is the structure I suggest you for...
Writing Feedbackcengizaglar - Dec 30, 2013 / SreeSam - Jan 1, 2014
|Toefl Essay - Protecting Endangered animals is not important?
2 - I would take out "in my opinion" from the first sentence. The reader already knows that it is your...
Writing FeedbackJamilson - Dec 31, 2013 / hgood - Dec 31, 2013
|Hilary Clinton Facebook fan pages - my own writing prompt
2 - I love this!! It is really unique and well written. You could've gone really cliche but you didn't :)...
Writing Feedbackamarao96 - Dec 31, 2013 / a_foster - Dec 31, 2013
|IELTS : Some people think that families have the most powerful influence on children
Writing FeedbackNguyen Nhi Thao - Dec 26, 2013 / Nguyen Nhi Thao - Dec 29, 2013
|CBEST Technology is out of control or has improved the quality of life?
3 - ...."Some" sounds better than "Many"; Some people believe that technology has gone out of control. What...
Writing Feedbackiwtny - Nov 26, 2013 / dumi - Dec 29, 2013
|the two methods of manufacturing black tea
5 - The aim of this report is to describe the traditional and modern methods of manufacturing black tea. The first...
Writing Feedbackelenaz - Dec 27, 2013 / dumi - Dec 29, 2013
|IELTS Task2: Comfortable lifestyle i.e. Materialism Vs Traditional Values
Writing Feedbackraj_ielts - Dec 25, 2013 / dumi - Dec 29, 2013
|[TOEFL]which types of transportation will you choose if traveling from your home to a..
Writing Feedbacksomething - Dec 28, 2013 / dumi - Dec 29, 2013
|TOEFL - 'you don't spend a lot of money' - the best way to travel is in group led by tour guide
3 - In summary part, you should write about why you prefer to travel with the group by rewrite the reasons...
Writing Feedbackokaert - Dec 21, 2013 / something - Dec 29, 2013
|Traditional music is more important than international - 'takes us home'
Writing Feedbackebychris - Dec 23, 2013 / something - Dec 28, 2013
|TOEFL; Hiring experienced worker at higher salary or inxeperienced worker at lower salary?
6 - I think this essay is too short. You should write at least 3 paragraphs that include Introduction, example and...
Writing FeedbackArinadeer - Dec 1, 2013 / something - Dec 28, 2013
|[TOEFL] university dormitories or apartments in the community?
Writing Feedbacksomething - Dec 27, 2013 / something - Dec 28, 2013
|Both sides have very valid points; GUN CONTROL
2 - In your last paragraph you say you need to take a side, so what's your opinion? Make it clearer....
Writing FeedbackAwarren - Dec 28, 2013 / iacero - Dec 28, 2013
|Many tertiary institutions; University should accept gender equality in classes
Writing Feedbackasdrubaljimenez - Dec 27, 2013 / dumi - Dec 27, 2013
|Is competition good? Yes and No both!
3 - Hope this article would help you polish this essay further; Competition is a contest between people or groups...
Writing Feedbackjaclyn1 - Dec 27, 2013 / dumi - Dec 27, 2013
|BENEFITS OF READING
Writing Feedbackvenguyen - Dec 19, 2013 / venguyen - Dec 27, 2013
|LEAVING YOUR COUNTRY TO LIVE OR STUDY ABROAD: ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES
3 - "overseas" is the right word. Migrating to more developed countries is a good opportunity for an individual to...
Writing Feedbacknybui212223 - Dec 26, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 27, 2013
|GRE Issue Essay - Scandals are more useful than speakers or reformers - feedback
Writing Feedbacknpbart - Dec 25, 2013 / npbart - Dec 27, 2013
|Getting advice from friends who are older vs friends of your own age
4 - Well, it is better to preserve a general tone throughout your essay. Your topic is not directed at...
Writing Feedbacksclee2090 - Dec 25, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 26, 2013
|'Babasaheb Ambedkar'; hich one person in the history would you like to meet?
Writing Feedbackakshayj25 - Nov 22, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 26, 2013
|ART SHOULD NOT BE FUNDED BY THE GOVERNMENT; AGREE/ DISAGREE?
4 - sree_raj Thanks sree_raj, its a nice essay with lot of information and good vocab.I'm making a note of...
Writing Feedbacksree_raj - Dec 19, 2013 / raj_ielts - Dec 26, 2013
|IELTS(Introduction)- Technology Vs Communication/Using Computer/Women in army
Writing FeedbackArun0506 - Dec 26, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 26, 2013
|Some people believe in co-educational classes and others believe in segregated ones
3 - Great advice by Pahan and Misterwandering and it's really good to have you guys around !Take those points they've...
Writing Feedbackminaf - Dec 24, 2013 / dumi - Dec 26, 2013
|IELTS Task 2 - Facing Change vs Avoiding Change. Discuss and give opinion.
3 - Hi Mayara, Your second paragraph sounds like saying the same point again and again. May be you can try...
Writing FeedbackmayaRa - Dec 26, 2013 / Arun0506 - Dec 26, 2013
|TOEFL; What is the most important room for you? playstation in my bedroom
3 - Yes, this is very important for us to understand your writing better and provide meaningful feedbacks. Anyway, your...
Writing Feedbackokaert - Dec 24, 2013 / dumi - Dec 26, 2013
|enthusiastic generation; Who brings up the children: Parents or Teachers
6 - Merry Christmas to you too Arun! ... actually, there is a thing called imprinting. It is that...
Writing FeedbackArun0506 - Dec 23, 2013 / dumi - Dec 25, 2013
|No human being is exactly alike - CLEP composition exam
Writing Feedbackpsjoyce46 - Dec 23, 2013 / akhilles97 - Dec 24, 2013
|IELTS essay : Young people move to cities
4 - However, this phenomenon may cause several negative consequences. "There can be no doubt" - this unnecessarily...
Writing Feedbackgabbie - Dec 22, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 24, 2013
|Entertainment, culture, heritage - What do we need music?
5 - .... this sentence is confusing. I think you have chosen the word advocate without knowing its proper meaning...
Writing Feedbackfarideh - Dec 21, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 24, 2013
|Integrated TOEFL essay; Unexpected effects
3 - First and admin request - You should open new threads for all TOEFL essays in Writing Feedback forum. Also,...
Writing FeedbackApik - Dec 22, 2013 / dumi - Dec 24, 2013
|Every year some languages die out; language as the most important achievment
3 - ..as the most important achievement we have made... ..as many languages have been developed , each language has its...
Writing Feedbackfatihy007 - Dec 9, 2013 / niesaysi - Dec 24, 2013
|Why do we need music? 'effect on the infants'
8 - you said that which music was more important.This sentence can be true but you have to say that which...
Writing FeedbackHelpmepassIELTS - Nov 26, 2013 / okaert - Dec 23, 2013
|IELTS; Both parents, father and mother, are indispensable to grow up a child
Writing Feedbackeagle112 - Dec 21, 2013 / eagle112 - Dec 23, 2013
|INTEGRATED WRITING; Globalization leads to a similarity of nations
Writing FeedbackAbrorjon_20 - Dec 22, 2013 / dumi - Dec 22, 2013
|GRE Analytical Writing - Argument Essay - Adams Realty and Fitch Realty
NEW - Hello! I would very appreciate reviewing of my first writing for GRE. I especially need the evaluation of my...
Writing Feedbackichibanchi - Dec 22, 2013 / — -
|Countries should not isolate themselves from the world but instead engage other countries.
8 - If the hook is so problematic for you, jut forget it and start with the background part of the...
Writing FeedbackBullet32 - Dec 8, 2013 / dumi - Dec 21, 2013
|TOEFL essay: People benefit more from traveling in their own country than foreign country
2 - @ Ninita - I provided you with a structure to construct your introduction. I wish you follow that. Do...
Writing FeedbackNinita - Dec 21, 2013 / dumi - Dec 21, 2013
|Toefl; Self studying or studying with a teacher?
4 - thank you so much pahan for your helping.In toefl essay, I need to develop my ideas very quickly, therefore...
Writing Feedbackokaert - Dec 16, 2013 / okaert - Dec 21, 2013
|When students evaluate their teachers, teachers can know what they need to improve themselves
4 - Well, I think it is better if you take some extra care in presenting your essay. Everything seems cramped...
Writing Feedbackphuongnam95 - Dec 13, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 21, 2013
|Internships are required for university students in order to graduate.
3 - Your whole essay looks like just one paragraph. That's no good dear :( What is this writing for? TOEFL...
Writing Feedbackgabiglima - Dec 13, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 21, 2013
|Food is easier to prepare; life's more convenient for people, save a lot of time
Writing Feedbackebychris - Dec 21, 2013 / Ninita - Dec 21, 2013
|The educational process - Parents are the best teachers?
7 - That's very kind of you.thanks 4 ur encouragement. pls always have time to review my work,i believe with your...
Writing Feedbackebychris - Dec 19, 2013 / ebychris - Dec 21, 2013
|Same amount of money for students' sports activity/ university library?
Writing Feedbackftn - Dec 20, 2013 / ftn - Dec 20, 2013
|Introduce yourself : Tell me about your family ? Tell me about your house ? ..
5 - Well, I find the first sentence is not adding any value to this response. Pleasure and enjoyment always deal...
Writing Feedbacklequangninh - Dec 18, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 20, 2013
|IELTS task two essay about job satisfaction
Writing Feedbackhastihyt - Dec 20, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 20, 2013
|Ielts essay; in what way the money should be spent.
2 - this sounds a bit odd... compensate damages of the wars? You could have said some people struggle to...
Writing Feedbackhandsome7boy - Dec 20, 2013 / dumi - Dec 20, 2013
|Overpopulation; Major effects and Possible solutions
2 - I guess you are preparing for IELTS. It is good to mention this purpose in the title itself so...
Writing Feedbackbloodkid - Dec 15, 2013 / dumi - Dec 20, 2013
|IELTS-More and more people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items.
5 - Why would you link famous brand products to fake items, instead more people would feel comfortable with the idea...
Writing Feedbacktiyuok - Dec 12, 2013 / FrankZheng - Dec 19, 2013
|GRE Essay - Analyze an Argument (Assumptious Managers)
2 - Hi, I'm way underqualified to critique the content of your GRE essay but I found a few grammatical errors....
Writing FeedbackHenryCastillo91 - Dec 19, 2013 / Liyuan - Dec 19, 2013
|''TOEFL'' any children can be an expert in every distinct of creativeness because of technology
Writing FeedbackNinita - Dec 15, 2013 / Ninita - Dec 19, 2013
|Toefl ; Who are the best teachers? If parents are able, they should teach them.
3 - .... this has some grammar errors; First, the children are very dependent on their parents. It is a...
Writing Feedbackdeisem - Dec 18, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 19, 2013
|Television damaged our interactions and made us disconnect from each other for several reasons.
3 - Before the TV was introduced, the family members had better interactions and more private time for the family...
Writing Feedbacklast - Dec 18, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 19, 2013
|I plan to live in the United Kindom!
Writing FeedbackkodyBlurton - Dec 18, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 19, 2013
|IELTS 2: Should governemts spend money on art?
2 - ... actually, you need not to give examples in the introduction. Your body paragraphs are the places meant...
Writing FeedbackAlexielts - Dec 18, 2013 / dumi - Dec 19, 2013
|Private funding for education may encourage citizens to become less dependent on a governments
6 - Ok.... the easiest way to handle both the quality of writing and time is to follow an essay structure...
Writing Feedbackdaniel280187 - Dec 17, 2013 / dumi - Dec 19, 2013
|IELTS: parenting courses in school
Writing Feedbacklippea - Jan 20, 2011 / znack - Dec 19, 2013
|IELTS 2: Food travels thousands of miles from the farm to the consumer. Good or Bad
Writing FeedbackAlexielts - Dec 12, 2013 / Alexielts - Dec 18, 2013
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