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|"an old man next to the Grandfather clock" - An event that I will never forget
6 - To EF_Kevin: Actually, this isn't a real story, i was actually kinda following my friend's story about the...
Writing FeedbackKieron1598 - Jun 18, 2011 / Kieron1598 - Jun 22, 2011
|Some people believe that only pupils of similar interests should be given admissions
3 - Yes, the grammar is bad, but you communicate your meaning powerfully. Don't worry! If you are serious about...
Writing Feedbackvuducnam - Jun 19, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 21, 2011
|'go back to childhood' Do young people enjoy life more than older people do?
2 - Many adults have been wishingwish that they could go back to their childhood and enjoy their young life again....
Writing Feedbackmhu9 - Jun 21, 2011 / EF_Susan - Jun 21, 2011
|"my graduation from high school" - generic thank you/graduation announcement
2 - This is a liberal arts major, designed to engage students in creating a voice for influencing our social world....
Writing FeedbackVictorious2011 - Jun 20, 2011 / EF_Susan - Jun 21, 2011
|"a survey of children's activities" - IELTS writing task 1 sample: Pie Graph
Writing Feedbackbadjeje - Jun 16, 2011 / badjeje - Jun 21, 2011
|IELTS: Academic subjects vs other subjects.
NEW - Hello everyone, I've been preparing myself for the ielts test. I'm looking for some suggestions on my writing. ...
Writing Feedbackluciustsang - Jun 21, 2011 / — -
|"Hamster, My Favorite Pet" - My practice essay
8 - Thank you for your alter and praise. ^o^ thinking in English make me can not exactly convey what i...
Writing Feedbackulfhvoqm - Jun 17, 2011 / ulfhvoqm - Jun 20, 2011
|Destruction of the world's forests amounts to death of the world we currently know.
3 - ...the destruction of forests will diminish oxygen production and the quality of life for many animals. Therefore, due...
Writing Feedbackthrollen - Jun 19, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 20, 2011
|Applying for Master's scholarship to Britain! Academic merit and benefit to country.
Writing FeedbackErique - Jun 18, 2011 / Erique - Jun 20, 2011
|IELTS:: The gaps between the rich and the poor.
5 - This seems incomplete as an intro paragraph. In my opinion, it is good to add a sentence that...
Writing FeedbackOriharaMairu - Jun 17, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 20, 2011
|Education brings up more job opportunities for those who are educated.
7 - I wonder,in essays if i give some data unrealistic but it seem to realistic Is that ok, Example :...
Writing Feedbackthrollen - Jun 17, 2011 / vuducnam - Jun 19, 2011
|Is it easier now to form friendships than ever before? ; Meaning of "friendship".
4 - Great job, Zumrad! Ana, thanks for this work you did. Zumrad, maybe you can type the essay again and...
Writing FeedbackZuma - Jun 17, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 18, 2011
|Most criminals are set free once they finished their jail term.
3 - No need for FOR: ...regret their sins. A jail term is given to the criminal after a cautious,...
Writing Feedbackvuducnam - Jun 16, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 18, 2011
|"Those who use drugs should be automatically sentenced to time in prison" - IELTS
3 - ...and effective solutions must be taken achieved in order to trim down the number of drug addicts. ...
Writing FeedbackGeenesh - Jun 16, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 18, 2011
|"My grown up Christmas list" song
8 - Yes! Contributing at EF is not about being an English expert. It's about adding some of your own energy...
Writing Feedbackviolonc_21 - Jun 11, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 18, 2011
|A Vacation with the Family in Israel.
3 - This sentence needs a SUBJECT: Spent a good Vacation with ... It needs to be like this: I spent...
Writing Feedbackfridno - Jun 16, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 18, 2011
|Impact of technology on how people interact with each other
6 - Thanks, Kevin! I got 6.5 in writing band in IELTS, which is a big improvementm and I will continue...
Writing Feedbackiamzj - Jun 1, 2011 / iamzj - Jun 18, 2011
|GRE Essay Specialisits Vs Generalists
Writing Feedbackpac_232 - Jun 16, 2011 / pac_232 - Jun 18, 2011
|IELTS>major effect on personality:Characteristic we born or our life experiences?
Writing FeedbackParmiss - Jun 15, 2011 / Parmiss - Jun 17, 2011
|Is romantic love a good basis for marriage? discuss
2 - Because of mosquitoes, we stay inside. If you use this kind of sentence, you can start with BECAUSE. However,...
Writing Feedbackexon25 - Jun 15, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 16, 2011
|Essay paper: Do you think it is possible to end extreme poverty. If so, how?
6 - This last paragraph shows that your concern is aimed at addressing poverty in the United States. But extreme poverty...
Writing Feedbackhiroshimi - Jun 13, 2011 / John_Champagne - Jun 16, 2011
|Essay about Notepads that changes school life
Writing FeedbackZacharyHero - Jun 6, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 16, 2011
|IELTS >More couples saying no to having kids
Writing Feedbackwinniesun - Jun 15, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 16, 2011
|How you can make my favorite sandwich.(one eight sentence paragraph)
3 - Ha ha, Eric, you make EssayForum a better place with your participation.. thanks! I have to say... this...
Writing Feedbackcarsonleeallen - Jun 15, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 16, 2011
|Essay describing how to you were completely misunderstood (becoming pregnant)
NEW - okay i have to write an essay overexperiences. have you ever attempted to change the way people view you?...
Writing Feedbackmom2cay - Jun 16, 2011 / — -
|"Scott Rudin" - identify a producer whose work you admire
NEW - Hi everybody :) i'm applying for a film producing course and i have to write about a producer whose...
Writing Feedbackazi_7117 - Jun 16, 2011 / — -
|Is image more powerful than the written word? - ielts
Writing FeedbackGeenesh - Jun 13, 2011 / Geenesh - Jun 16, 2011
|Compare and contrast - knowledge gained from personal experience vs. classroom
2 - I think the word "creator" here should be in capital letter like what Ms. Khinie wrote because it...
Writing FeedbackkhinieR - Jun 14, 2011 / badjeje - Jun 16, 2011
|Toefl ibt essay: Work in team or independently (preferable)
4 - Hey, I like that argument! This is a meaningful essay, because not everyone would agree with your argument. Yet,...
Writing FeedbackCoolmam9x - Jun 14, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 15, 2011
|"lucky social experience" - equal support for sport and social activities also classes and libraries
3 - Thanks for your help, and for your patience and advices, as you noticed that I have made some mistakes...
Writing Feedbackifournight - Jun 14, 2011 / ifournight - Jun 15, 2011
|Should a prudent person conclude that science and religion are incompatible?
NEW - This is my first post, and my first ever formal writing paper. Feed back would be greatly appreciated. I...
Writing Feedbackcarsonleeallen - Jun 14, 2011 / — -
|IELTS: should teachers be paid according to the quality of their teaching?
Writing Feedbackbadjeje - Jun 10, 2011 / badjeje - Jun 14, 2011
|"main target is education" - attend college or university for many different reasons.
4 - Thank you very much for dumi and EF_Kevin, now I am learning lots of skills from you and your...
Writing Feedbackdhammika1973 - Jun 7, 2011 / dhammika1973 - Jun 14, 2011
|IELS> Creative artists to express their ideas should be restricted by government?
Writing Feedbackwinniesun - Jun 13, 2011 / Geenesh - Jun 13, 2011
|Telling the truth is mandatory in a sound relationship?
7 - hey, EF_Kevin, thx ...i will follow ur advice and try to write more essay ...i will work hard, and...
Writing FeedbackECHOECHO - Jun 11, 2011 / ECHOECHO - Jun 13, 2011
|" Time & Memory" a Narrative for University Fundemental Writing Class
2 - I like that intro!! You write well... I mustered up the lung capacity to murmur "Where's my cell phone?"...
Writing Feedbackmrperez4 - Jun 11, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 13, 2011
|Universal Primary Education and Free the Children in Kenya (grade 11)
2 - Hi Anne, welcome to EssayForum! I hope you'll have time to help a few other students, because you write...
Writing Feedbackanntc - Jun 12, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 13, 2011
|toefl writing: people holding different views cannot achieve success?
3 - Here is one more sentence that needs some work: Use this phrase: different ....from People with different views from...
Writing FeedbackJuliezhang9001 - Jun 11, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 13, 2011
|Goodbye AIDS? HIV-AIDS is an irremediable disease no more.
8 - Yep, that is what I always think people should do. Now we'll look for more mistakes to correct:...
Writing Feedbacklearner2 - Jun 8, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 12, 2011
|Behavior Therapy (Psychology paragraph)
Writing FeedbackRosalin Becky - Jun 9, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 12, 2011
|The rulers are well-educated; Directors of large companies receive big salaries
3 - Great thread here... thanks everyone! I noticed that realfog fixed an error with a common expression: "As far as...
Writing Feedbackwinniesun - Jun 9, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 12, 2011
|An Unforgettable Dream (marriage and death)
9 - Well, maybe it meets the requirements for submission, and maybe not. But when I first read this I really...
Writing FeedbackRosalin Becky - Jun 6, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 12, 2011
|should school child be limited on the hours of watching tv program and movie?
4 - . If the child is addicted to these entertainments and spend at the second paragraph, you can use 'children'...
Writing FeedbackJuliezhang9001 - Jun 7, 2011 / winniesun - Jun 12, 2011
|People, events that change the way you're thinking
Writing FeedbackKathyLala - Jun 6, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 11, 2011
|Mass media means a bridge between people in different places
6 - I'll fix it by adding WHILE: However, while some of these bring benefits for us, there are also bad...
Writing Feedbackwinniesun - Jun 6, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 11, 2011
|Life and Art - Art immortalizes life.
3 - Hi Sarita, do you understand all of the corrections Ajit gave here? I like your ideas. It's interesting...
Writing Feedbacksarita Rana - Jun 9, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 11, 2011
|IELTS: Advantages and disadvantages of wearing uniform
9 - Nowadays, wearing uniforms is an obligation in some companies and organizations. They require their staff to wear uniforms,...
Writing FeedbackScientiana - Apr 24, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 10, 2011
|"Narcissistic Personality Disorder" - "The Search" by Naguib Mahfouz.
2 - Right after this part, I think you should have a sentence that continues the theme you stated with...
Writing Feedbackcorralizas - Jun 8, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 10, 2011
|CBEST: Someone unforgettable (Dinesh)
NEW - Write about an unforgettable person whom you have encountered in your life? What made him or her special? How...
Writing Feedbackztoa - Jun 9, 2011 / — -
|Country's technology versus traditional skills - IELTS
Writing Feedbackjennychen - Jun 6, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 9, 2011
|Essay: Most writers of fiction do not earn enough money to live from their writing.
3 - Reading is the important factor of our knowledge and also it is helpstous conduct our life style. Any reading...
Writing Feedbackdhammika1973 - Jun 6, 2011 / dumi - Jun 8, 2011
|IELTS exam: Should children play or study?
6 - thank you all so much for the suggestions and corrections.. pls keep them coming so the next time i...
Writing Feedbackbadjeje - Jun 8, 2011 / badjeje - Jun 8, 2011
|Essay about love: why love is important in life?
2 - The love is a feeling of completeness that comes from treating others as part of our self, and love...
Writing Feedbackfisal - Jun 6, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 8, 2011
|IELTS - Several languages are in danger of extinction
Writing Feedbackhaitom - Jun 7, 2011 / haitom - Jun 8, 2011
|IELTS>Safe alternatives to fossil fuels should be the most important global priority?
4 - Due to the developed living standard in the world's richest countries, an enormous amount of products are discarded when...
Writing Feedbackwinniesun - Jun 5, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 7, 2011
|College/University should be free for ALL determined and qualifying students.
7 - I forgot to answer your question before. The thing is, college is never FREE if people need to get...
Writing Feedbackchocopix - May 28, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 7, 2011
|How to fund community recreational services (increase taxes?)
Writing Feedbackthrollen - Jun 5, 2011 / throllen - Jun 7, 2011
|Better to be self-employed, work for someone else, or own a business? TOEFL
5 - Usually, if you use IN MY OPINION, you should make a general statement afterwards: In my opinion, it is...
Writing FeedbackFatimaTOEFL - Jun 5, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 7, 2011
|"The rose of desert" hotel - description of a place I don't recommend
3 - For this part, you can also use a capital T: ...most part: The taxi driver was uncommonly pleasant, and...
Writing Feedbackpiinka - Jun 5, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 7, 2011
|Laws should be flexible enough to take account of various circumstances
Writing Feedbacksameercool87 - May 15, 2011 / sameercool87 - Jun 7, 2011
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