|Writing Feedback [23,059] - page 323 of 385|
|People are more independent in the modern world? - IELTS
4 - People have different views regarding dependence and independence in the modern world. ----I changed this first sentence so that...
Writing Feedbackfdrik - Mar 27, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 29, 2011
|School board to increase the physical education requirement to three years - CBEST
Writing FeedbackKarla - Mar 8, 2011 / adam20 - Mar 29, 2011
|IELTS TASK 2: Government should build more nuclear power plant as it is eco friendly.
6 - Use a hyphen: well-known Some people assert that atomic power has ... Use "while" in the middle...
Writing Feedbackratree - Mar 16, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 29, 2011
|IELTS about if creative artists can express their ideas in any way they like
4 - Wow, thank you for makingme smarter. This is a very wise observation. I often think about where the...
Writing FeedbackBrookW - Mar 26, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 29, 2011
|"Who gives society something of lasting value" - student's response on GRE, ABOUT ART
4 - which otherwise would be too infinitesimal to be described by the public. but meanwhile keeping it in mind...
Writing Feedbacksolitaryreaper - Mar 26, 2011 / butterbescotch - Mar 29, 2011
|position on Arizona Law: support and opposition( one body paragraph for each side).
Writing Feedbackbarabashka - Mar 27, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 29, 2011
|toefl - It is the truth that not all people can do the things they like all the time.
Writing Feedbacksabrinayaa - Mar 26, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 28, 2011
|Need help in writing a better eassy on how to solve gang violence in school
4 - Great corrections here: Violence has increased in our schools within the past four years; more than thirty teachers and...
Writing Feedbackchampion - Mar 26, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 28, 2011
|"The subject of possession and happines" - Toefl writing
3 - The subjects of money and happiness are interesting subjects because there seem to be many contradictory ideas around them....
Writing FeedbackKaixi - Mar 25, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 28, 2011
|it is more important to spend money on art and music
Writing Feedbackz19b89 - Mar 25, 2011 / z19b89 - Mar 28, 2011
|[IELTS] Select students with academic ablity or teach them together?
Writing Feedbackkelp0308 - Mar 25, 2011 / kelp0308 - Mar 28, 2011
|"Never, never give up" - Your favorite saying
Writing Feedbackprettybear94 - Mar 22, 2011 / bonnte - Mar 28, 2011
|IELTS Task 2: Modern world make us more dependant or independent
4 - Keep that first part simple and clear: In this modernized era, it is unclear whether contemporary circumstances make us...
Writing Feedbackgodhuli - Mar 24, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 27, 2011
|To read books and to watch TV can help develp imagination and language skills
3 - When different ways forms of entertainment become prevalent, such as book reading and TV watching, people try ......
Writing FeedbackJingf - Mar 24, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 27, 2011
|the culture of Thailand and China: Compare and contrast
4 - Colander Calander No, it does not seem childish. It seems like the writing of a bilingual person....
Writing Feedbackbenzhu1985 - Mar 24, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 27, 2011
|"Parents = best teachers; we Human's are also bound by the same Law of Nature" -TOEFL
2 - Don't capitalize animal. Don't capitalize human. These are common nouns, not proper nouns. Stop saying "as per that."...
Writing Feedbacktamalroy1979 - Mar 24, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 27, 2011
|[TOEFL] A question about teacher`s remuneration
5 - Essay examples in books are written in the same manner, and it is even considered a disadvantage to use...
Writing FeedbackBorislav - Mar 20, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 26, 2011
|"Important truths begin as outrageous, or at least uncomfortable..."
2 - Yes, you should use a spell checker. Google this: online spellchecker. I'll add an apostrophe here: The nature...
Writing Feedbackirs055 - Mar 24, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 26, 2011
|"My fortunate life" - childhood experience affects to people's life
4 - Sabrina and Kevin, I got you. Thanks for your nice and encouraged comments and your help. Meeting those people...
Writing FeedbackKathyLala - Mar 23, 2011 / KathyLala - Mar 26, 2011
|"For eyes, loser"; Introduction to bullying essay
3 - Yes, four is the number. "For" is a different word. Use a hyphen: "Four-eyes! Loser!" Those are a couple...
Writing Feedbackmiranda14 - Mar 23, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 26, 2011
|Who is responsible for motivating students to learn? TEACHERS?
3 - In this case, use a colon: I disagree with the following statement: teachers are ... Here is another...
Writing FeedbackInchima - Mar 23, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 26, 2011
|O level: The importance of sports event in Singpapore school
5 - The problem with this sentence is that it should say "succeed in teaching." It is not good to...
Writing FeedbackChim Can Cook - Mar 23, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 26, 2011
|TEACHER or SELF? I would prefer to learn by myself
Writing Feedbacksabrinayaa - Mar 18, 2011 / sabrinayaa - Mar 26, 2011
|"Keep Yourself a Lifelong Promise - Say "No" to Drugs - an essay on drug abuse
Writing Feedbackzailn - Mar 23, 2011 / zailn - Mar 26, 2011
|IELTS Whether country needs to develop its traditional skills, arts and way of life?
Writing Feedbackjomse - Mar 19, 2011 / jomse - Mar 25, 2011
|I like to study with my teacher rather than studying alone.
3 - Great corrections here. JuimpingJack, please type it again and try to use the corrections. Do you have any questions...
Writing Feedbackjumpingjack - Mar 18, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 25, 2011
|Young people should prefer living in the city.
4 - Great thread, everyone. Thanks! I'll do some grammar corrections. ...because of the many reasons. Plenty of...
Writing Feedbackgowerdhan786 - Mar 18, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 25, 2011
|"Parents are first" - narrative essay
12 - I am asma fiqi, and I have worked with various companies throughout my life. They include St. Jude...
Writing Feedbacklittle sun - Mar 13, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 25, 2011
|O level: Children today have no proper childhood
Writing FeedbackChim Can Cook - Mar 17, 2011 / Chim Can Cook - Mar 25, 2011
|What is your favorite food to eat? how do you prepare it?
4 - Thanks, everyone. I think future visitors to this thread can learn a lot from you! When we eat...
Writing Feedbackxcom30 - Mar 23, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 25, 2011
|[Toefl] Some students like classes where teachers lecture
4 - Given the choice between listening to the lecturing done by teachers in class or being in a class where...
Writing Feedbackwreckday - Mar 22, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 24, 2011
|Persuasive Essay - "Examine what is said, not him who speaks." ~Arab Proverb
3 - Thanks for the feedback! I agree with your statement that the topic was poorly chosen. That is definitely...
Writing FeedbackMiiSTiiCZ - Mar 17, 2011 / MiiSTiiCZ - Mar 24, 2011
|IELTS Task 2 - Compulsory military service for all countries
5 - You can write "have the most effect" or "be the most effective"... On the plus side, military training will...
Writing FeedbackSuYper - Mar 21, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 24, 2011
|students' competence at all levels of the Malaysian education
6 - Conclusion: My suggestion. Improve teaching method, better trained teachers. Implement workplace experience by students doing certain hours of...
Writing Feedbackno183 - Mar 1, 2011 / Guest - Mar 24, 2011
|Should we give our suggestions regarding to the mistakes our friends made? Toefl IBT
Writing Feedbacksakurasho - Mar 16, 2011 / sakurasho - Mar 24, 2011
|'entering society' - Work/travel between high school and study at university
Writing Feedbackqingsong - Mar 20, 2011 / qingsong - Mar 24, 2011
|SAT ESSAY - Underrated vs Underrated
5 - I agree with Kevin, simplify the introduction will make it clearer. Nevertheless, this is simply such a great essay....
Writing Feedbackyolven_lu - Mar 17, 2011 / cathchen - Mar 23, 2011
|Essay about happiness definition and it's effects - 'a kind of emotional feeling'
5 - Hi Kevin, Many thanks to your encouragement, I am a beginner in writing english essay, but with all...
Writing FeedbackBrookW - Mar 19, 2011 / BrookW - Mar 23, 2011
|An IELTS task 2 essay about whether studying history is important
4 - History to some people could be not very interesting, and they believe that studying the subject will not help...
Writing Feedbackenglishlearner1 - Mar 19, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 22, 2011
|'Disease prevention is better than cure' Do you agree or disagree?
5 - Do you understand the corrections dumi made? There is no doubt that taking preventative measures against illness is important.......
Writing Feedbackmouxing - Mar 19, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 22, 2011
|Several short breaks v.s long break in schools
2 - Not so many parents can afford several vacations throughout the year because of the high costs of air fare,...
Writing FeedbackKathyLala - Mar 18, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 22, 2011
|TOEFL: Does Television destroy our bonds with friends and family?
6 - That's always great advice. When you argue, show the opponent and audience that you do understand their reasoning and...
Writing Feedbacksabrinayaa - Mar 9, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 22, 2011
|Harmful telephones and email? Human's progress is favorable. It's society that causes the problems.
4 - Thank both of you for the constructive criticism. I'll have in mind all your suggestions. By the way, English...
Writing Feedbackxchrisxcore - Mar 16, 2011 / xchrisxcore - Mar 22, 2011
|An essay on 'tiger mom' - what should an ideal education be like?
Writing Feedbackzailn - Mar 12, 2011 / zailn - Mar 22, 2011
|Music is a therapy for better health
Writing Feedbackiloveyou - Mar 20, 2011 / prettybear94 - Mar 22, 2011
|Argument essay on whether students should be required to have physical education
Writing FeedbackDeerHunter - Mar 19, 2011 / DeerHunter - Mar 21, 2011
|"Of all the manifestations* of power, restraint in the use of that power
2 - According to the narrator, restraint in the use of power impresses people more than manifestation of power. I...
Writing Feedbackgowerdhan786 - Mar 18, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 21, 2011
|[toefl] Build art museum or recreational facility
3 - hello, thank you for your advises and i wrote this essay spent almost 40sec. i will revise my essay...
Writing Feedbacktaylor kong - Mar 21, 2011 / taylor kong - Mar 21, 2011
|Art museums and music performance centers or recreational facilities?
5 - i agreed w/ Taylor, you definitely need to provide more examples to support your point. Actually, i think...
Writing Feedbacks033591 - Mar 19, 2011 / mintchoco - Mar 21, 2011
|[TOEFL] The Cost of Human Development
Writing FeedbackBorislav - Mar 16, 2011 / Borislav - Mar 21, 2011
|Essay about independency and a choice between living with family or moving out
6 - hello, i saw your essay, here is some ideas: - you have less evidences to support your essay, and...
Writing Feedbackdodoboy0324 - Feb 17, 2011 / taylor kong - Mar 21, 2011
|"Bus in Hanoi" - Evaluation essay - the role of transportation.
4 - Personally I think this is a good essay. However you have too many simple sentences, I think you should...
Writing Feedbackcarnation249 - Mar 16, 2011 / SuYper - Mar 21, 2011
|Reflection paper-museum tour reflection
2 - With the nurturing perspectives, I designed my tour in a way which would give learners a safety but challenging...
Writing Feedbackmintchoco - Mar 18, 2011 / EF_Susan - Mar 21, 2011
|TOEFL-"forest is disappearing but needs to be saved."
Writing FeedbackY529 - Mar 3, 2011 / Y529 - Mar 21, 2011
|[TOEFL] young people should try different job before taking a career!
2 - Here are some more ideas, Taylor... A public debate on the question of whether young people should try...
Writing Feedbacktaylor kong - Mar 17, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 20, 2011
|Issue : Should political leaders withhold information from the public?
Writing FeedbackVVR - Mar 17, 2011 / VVR - Mar 20, 2011
|Underrated Vs Overrated by people - what is better?
2 - Great edit here... thanks, Jerber! Yes, 3rd person is better. I like this correction: meet the expected demand...
Writing Feedbackcathchen - Mar 13, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 20, 2011
|IELTS Taks 2 - Rapid economic development cause some problems
6 - ...problems to countries as a hole. What are the problems and solutions?----Whole, not hole. In the day and...
Writing FeedbackSuYper - Mar 15, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 19, 2011
|DO WE RELY HEAVILY ON TECHNOLOGY ?
6 - The only thing is if feel like this is awkward: I personally utilize technology in my daily routine whether...
Writing Feedbackstooks - Mar 13, 2011 / bellawings90210 - Mar 18, 2011
|I can't agree fully with the demand of equality of number between genders in the universities
4 - I think we should get rid of "and" here: And According to them the selection occurs so that the...
Writing Feedbackkimo1234 - Mar 14, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Mar 18, 2011
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