Writing Feedback

3 - Thank you soo much for the help, I got an A haha...

Writing Feedbacknn8nk - Oct 7, 2010 / nn8nk - Oct 13, 2010

3 - I don't think they all spoke this sentence, so don't use " " marks. You can just keep...

Writing FeedbackKathyChen - Oct 10, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 13, 2010

"Being Muslim" - UCF Amissions Essay: How my culture has influenced who i am.

3 - Doing...-----> requires However, doing these certain responsibilities requires dedication and commitment. When I decided to wear the head scarf...

Writing FeedbackZunaira94 - Oct 10, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 13, 2010

"Human survival will depend on effective measures to cope with ecological problems"

2 - This is a very good, clear thesis, but I think you should list words that tell what the...

Writing Feedbackqwerty123456789 - Oct 10, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 13, 2010

Appearance, work spirit, skills - important characteristics of a co-worker

3 - Thanks for your attention, Kevin! =)...

Writing Feedbackecmagalhaes - Oct 5, 2010 / ecmagalhaes - Oct 13, 2010

Is the dependence on computers a good thing?

4 - I also have written an essay about computers' importance to students. In my opinion, it's not really great to...

Writing Feedbackdtth - Oct 3, 2010 / candynguyen381 - Oct 13, 2010

a change of heart and different view on life

5 - Actually, I wonder about the format of your writing. i mean an essay needs three main parts; Introduction, body...

Writing Feedbackunavailableuser - Oct 11, 2010 / candynguyen381 - Oct 13, 2010

IELTS: Government should make more effort to promote alternative sources of energy.

NEW - Hi all... Could you please assess my writing and help me improving it Topic: Government should make more...

Writing Feedbackielts - Oct 13, 2010 / — -

Reflective experience to Peck's inspiring article on struggle in life!

3 - Your the man kevin! Thanks!...

Writing FeedbackMoeMoe1 - Oct 9, 2010 / MoeMoe1 - Oct 12, 2010

"Innocent Manipulation" (Renée Curry's article Construction of Innocence)

4 - Kevin, Sorry for the delay in my response as I have been away. Your points are well taken....

Writing Feedbacksfrick - Sep 29, 2010 / sfrick - Oct 12, 2010

It is a grave mistake to theorize before one has data."

4 - Hello Friend, I do not know what criteria to use to grade you. Learning a language is like...

Writing Feedbacksimiha - Oct 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 12, 2010

does high workplace risk render a higher pay?

2 - McDonald's Improvement of workplace safety does not necessary mean higher ... I don't think you should...

Writing FeedbackSugarJenn - Oct 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 12, 2010

Immoral Experience: "you should never say swear words"

3 - sorry but I agree with ryanvi16. try focusing more on what this movie did for you if you really...

Writing FeedbackMichael B - Oct 12, 2010 / dfdfdf - Oct 12, 2010

Individual study helps keep me focused. If I study with my friends I easily get distracted.

5 - thanks kevin...

Writing Feedbackparpari - Oct 8, 2010 / parpari - Oct 12, 2010

Does air travel creates a great deal of pollution and consumes resources?

4 - Try this one-you can download a lot of free e-books such as Cambridge IELTS Practice tests etc: englishtips.org/exam_materials/ielts/ ...

Writing Feedbackielts - Oct 12, 2010 / scowi - Oct 12, 2010

IELTS-Should children cooperative spirit and a competitive mind

3 - thaitam, thank you very much for your checking. I agree with most of your modification. It really helps a...

Writing Feedbackzchen1987 - Oct 10, 2010 / zchen1987 - Oct 12, 2010

Employee Efficiency and Performance Evaluation: GRE argument analysis

4 - In this case, I would recommend putting the first two paragraphs together as one paragraph. Taht will make a...

Writing Feedbackradwa - Oct 8, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 11, 2010

Will controling the amount of violence in films and on TV reduce violent crimes?

5 - Kevin,thank you for your comments You have motivated me to write more To improve my English,I will work harder...

Writing Feedbackmaxim john - Oct 8, 2010 / maxim john - Oct 11, 2010

Are organisations most successful when members pursue individual wishes and goals?

4 - EF_Kevin Thanks for your suggestions and encouragement, Kevin. Really....

Writing Feedbackgmt_snail - Oct 6, 2010 / gmt_snail - Oct 11, 2010

Guns Control or Not? - Essay with one body Paragraph

4 - Great job, Tan Vi! I want to improve one of the corrections: Moreover, banning guns in Yemen is going...

Writing FeedbackNesreen - Oct 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 11, 2010

Capital Punishment in modern society - should be applied or not?

3 - Hi Rupam, Your way of writing is nice to read. I just want to help you get more...

Writing Feedbackrupamgump - Oct 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 11, 2010

My journey that led me to pursue physical therapy school

4 - First off, paragraphs would be nice ;) Anyway, I like the intro about passion but its a...

Writing FeedbackPaola54 - Oct 7, 2010 / essays r hard - Oct 10, 2010

Formal Analysis of Monet's "The Scene at Giverny"

2 - To the viewer hastily taking a glimpse, The Scene at Giverny might look... This is very well-written. If...

Writing Feedbackhiliun - Oct 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 10, 2010

Buy books or borrowing books?- TOEFL

4 - Because of my desire to save money for ourselves and the resources consumed to manufacture books, I prefer t...

Writing Feedbacksoccon36 - Oct 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 10, 2010

TOEFL essay about influential people in the world

2 - To begin with,the most important reason is that he gave some rights to women for... Use a spell...

Writing Feedbackkovcastle - Oct 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 10, 2010

IELTS writing: Commercialization of sports (wrong motivation?)

3 - Cool, and how about adding one more sentence to the end of that first paragraph to tell briefly...

Writing Feedbackcathead_2307 - Oct 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 10, 2010

Do you agree or disagree:The advertising is the main cause of unhealthy eating habits

5 - Labroy,appreciate for your comment....

Writing FeedbackYuking - Oct 9, 2010 / Yuking - Oct 9, 2010

IELTS: Discuss TV as educational tool

4 - thank you kevin!!...

Writing Feedbackriny - Oct 4, 2010 / riny - Oct 8, 2010

Food preperation is easier to prepare. Has it improved peoples' lives?

4 - Thanks Kevin. I'll be taking the test tomorrow. I appreciate everybody who helped me with feedbacks, especially Kevin, Mark...

Writing Feedbackupul - Oct 4, 2010 / upul - Oct 8, 2010

The Dummies of Today's Society.

2 - ... for example, violence manifests as shootings, sexual assault, and war zones. This essay is much better than...

Writing Feedbackalswn95 - Oct 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 7, 2010

Toefl Essay : Distance learning and online computer classes should replace classroom

2 - Tan Vi did a great job here! Another option for the first sentence would be like this: During this...

Writing Feedbackscarecrowd - Oct 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 7, 2010

The Value of Kindness in our society and in the world

3 - It is therefore, not appropriate to try and measure kindness at all.----- this is a profound idea; thanks for...

Writing FeedbackAnalucia - Oct 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 7, 2010

significant advantages to raising children with a stay at home parent

5 - Great, I hope you have made it into an essay that really feels right. I hope you know I...

Writing FeedbackLaurel - Sep 27, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 7, 2010

Not only belief: Young people are no longer interested in religion

5 - Ahaan. Actually the thing is that our English teacher has been posted to some other city last year and...

Writing FeedbackMilky_Sarisama - Oct 6, 2010 / Milky_Sarisama - Oct 7, 2010

I'd run my own business" ;To purchase a house or a business - TOEFL

7 - I believe you need to elaborate more on your key points, in order to fully get what your trying...

Writing Feedbackecmagalhaes - Oct 2, 2010 / nn8nk - Oct 7, 2010

About the invetion of soap in ancient Egypt: edit my paragraph?

5 - Yeah, you're right. But they ask question like such: " Are all important discoveries the results of focusing on...

Writing Feedbacklzhd1028 - Oct 6, 2010 / lzhd1028 - Oct 6, 2010

"Don't be angry" valuble piece of advice my father once gave me.

7 - hi Zubaida, with many advices above, i have nothing to commend about your essay but that you have written...

Writing FeedbackZubaida - Oct 2, 2010 / anhduy_tran - Oct 6, 2010

"When and Where"; doing work by hand or using machines?

3 - Thanks for the corrections...

Writing Feedbackkperera - Oct 5, 2010 / kperera - Oct 6, 2010

Children should grow in countryside or big city? I am in favor of big city

3 - Almost every parent wishes their children to live in a good environment. Some parents think that the countryside...

Writing Feedbackphuocquivt - Oct 2, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 5, 2010

Traffic in Viet Nam: Reasons and Solutions

5 - Kevin, I was under the same impression the other day when I first encountered this essay, although I...

Writing FeedbackAlamanda Bud - Sep 28, 2010 / mea505 - Oct 5, 2010

"My Dad's Life" - the perfect family I need.

3 - When my dad was a teenage, he did not have to go to work at all. He just stayed...

Writing Feedbackkpopgeneration - Oct 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 5, 2010

Compare and Contrast essay of my parents

3 - Hi kevin =) thank you so much for ur help! ^^...

Writing FeedbackTeoYenMing - Sep 26, 2010 / TeoYenMing - Oct 5, 2010

IS WEARING UNIFORM NECESSARY FOR STUDENT?

3 - thinks a lot!..I think I'm lack of vocabulary and viewpoint to support it.,actually it's too short,it's almost one year...

Writing Feedbackalybaba510 - Oct 4, 2010 / alybaba510 - Oct 4, 2010

Toefl essay : There is nothing that an uneducated person can teach educated person.

2 - That's okay Wipu. You probably can still learn some great things by practicing with Mark's advice. When you...

Writing Feedbackscarecrowd - Sep 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 4, 2010

TOEFL; Company announces its wish to build to a large factory near your area

2 - Hi, de zilva. well done! its a good essay! thats your first essay? you have a quite good vocabulary...

Writing Feedbacklabroy - Oct 4, 2010 / ecmagalhaes - Oct 4, 2010

Why do people enagage in dangerous actions? mental and physical characteristics

4 - I am still practicing. I will try to use your technique. I know so many technique but the problem...

Writing Feedbackjag - Oct 2, 2010 / Alfreda99 - Oct 4, 2010

"Should condom machines be placed in high school bathrooms" essay needs editting

NEW - For my critical reading and writing class I was required to write a 700-710 word essay on whether or...

Writing Feedbackklmartin - Oct 4, 2010 / — -

WESTERN CULTURE AND ITS INFLUENCE ON OTHER PARTS OF THE WORLD

3 - Predominantly, westerners colonize (you cannot colonize a mentality)... ...Western culture influences the mentality of all people across the...

Writing Feedbackshofa_nefertete - Sep 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 3, 2010

TOURIST DESTINATION: Tourism has negative effect on certain destinations.

4 - Choose singular or plural: Being a responsible citizen, I am bound to preserve the natural bounty beauty for...

Writing Feedbackshofa_nefertete - Sep 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 3, 2010

HUNGER AND INSURGENCE: IELTS TASK 2

3 - leaps and bounds I feel like a sentence is missing from that first paragraph. It'll be great to...

Writing Feedbackshofa_nefertete - Sep 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 3, 2010

SPACE EXPLORATION IS A WASTEFUL ACTIVITY - AGREE?

5 - That is interesting! Thanks for sharing this informative and thoughtful essay. Here is one more correction: Instead...

Writing Feedbackupul - Sep 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 3, 2010

Should share employees a company's profit, not just senior managers. Agree or disagre

4 - It is widely understood that employees represent an indispensable part of a company. Therefore, it is reasonable to...

Writing Feedbackthaitam - Sep 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 3, 2010

TOEFL: Artists have the capability of soothing the minds of the people.

3 - Humankind is usually a better word than mankind. It is encouraging to acknowledge that the people of our...

Writing Feedbackdil - Sep 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 3, 2010

Strong morality and good familial background of a political leader?

3 - i agreed, but shorten the essay to let people read clearly...

Writing Feedbackshofa_nefertete - Sep 30, 2010 / alexngyz - Oct 3, 2010

Toefl essay : The most important leader in your country.

5 - Hi Wupi, I think your essay is good. I'm very happy because I've already known about a perfect King...

Writing Feedbackscarecrowd - Oct 1, 2010 / dtth - Oct 3, 2010

School Uniforms would decrease the violence in schools: GRE Perspective Essay

3 - Thanks Susan for your feedback! Same here, 4 years of school uniforms :)...

Writing Feedbackradwa - Sep 30, 2010 / radwa - Oct 2, 2010

TOEFL Essay - food (stand/restaurant or home)

5 - alahakon, roshan and priyanka thank for your suggestions! i need to practise more and more to improve my vocabulary......

Writing Feedbackecmagalhaes - Oct 1, 2010 / ecmagalhaes - Oct 2, 2010

Advantages and disadvantages of the Internet for an average person?

5 - This last sentence needs to be managed a little better. It is awkward and unwieldy, like a large box...

Writing Feedbackshofa_nefertete - Sep 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 2, 2010

Characteristics of caring people. How did they influence you?

5 - ...my best friends, mentors and role models.---- Right after this sentence I think you should add a thesis statement...

Writing Feedbackcarlynnross - Sep 29, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 2, 2010

Having two children VS. Having More than two children in every family

6 - Do you know this? It has been found that child's great part of the mental development is completed...

Writing Feedbackophogh - Sep 25, 2010 / asokapalama - Oct 2, 2010

Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 335)