Writing Feedback

Computers: good or bad in using it for education - CBEST

3 - That first sentence is very impressive. Indeed, r eliance on computer grows every day . This explosion in...

Writing Feedbackflavia03 - Jul 28, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 30, 2010

GRE Essay:- "Laws should not be rigid or fixed. Instead, they should be flexible

6 - I like this way of introducing a term! That is quite poetic and clever. I see what...

Writing Feedbackrajeshaaidu - Jul 28, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 30, 2010

Three reasons for studying in a diffrent country

4 - thanks a lot guys! I am very glad that I am signed up hier and met so nice guys...

Writing Feedbacknew writer - Jul 28, 2010 / new writer - Jul 29, 2010

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of travel or work after high school.

3 - Hellow Lynn, There are two disadvantages on the other hand. [b]Could be better: On the other hand, there...

Writing FeedbackLynn Truong - Jul 10, 2010 / George1 - Jul 28, 2010

As the light begins to dim, Faith.

9 - You can find them on the YMAA website and on ebay! All you need is one book or video...

Writing FeedbackRajiv - Jul 16, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 28, 2010

IELTS: Goverment should write laws for using vehicles and everybody should follow them

5 - Sure, just post your new draft here! :-)...

Writing Feedbackruhi - Jul 12, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 28, 2010

Essay about 2 kinds of friendship - Judith Viorst

7 - sorry I didnt point out where did i make a change because i didnt know thatI cannot edit my...

Writing Feedbackdvtq - Jul 26, 2010 / dvtq - Jul 28, 2010

SAT: QUESTION DECICIONS OF LEADERS

5 - You make your point in the first paragraph. In each body paragraph, give ideas to support your main...

Writing Feedbackalooo282 - Jul 21, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 27, 2010

Male to Female ration in University admissions

2 - Ma Li, please try to write a new draft with the corrections Maria made. Do you understand the corrections?...

Writing Feedbackmary1lucky - Jul 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 27, 2010

IELTS writing ---to what extent do you agree or disagree? modern or old building ?

3 - I see that you are already proficient, and you need "fine tuning." Here is something to help you...

Writing Feedbackcosmopolitan - Jul 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 27, 2010

IELTS writing_International sporting occasions help to ease international tensions

2 - This is already a good essay. You showed that you understand the prompt, and you responded clearly: It...

Writing Feedbackngcanh - Jul 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 27, 2010

Topic: Are we defined by great challenges or by everyday challenges?

3 - Here is another idea about that intro: Life is just like a journey in which we try to...

Writing Feedbacktrungandhoai - Jul 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 26, 2010

TOEFL Essay: Art or environment

2 - I had another idea for correcting the first sentence: Obviously, both of these choices are based on reasonable...

Writing Feedbackmenkim1 - Jul 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 26, 2010

Favorite Word and why-Rate/give advice for my college essay

4 - Thank you both of you for your advice pertaining to my essay. It will help a lot, not only...

Writing Feedbackmrkay66 - Jul 17, 2010 / mrkay66 - Jul 26, 2010

Preserving its old, historic buildings means respecting the previous generations

5 - That is an interesting topic. But I think that a city should preserve its old, historic buildings. Since those...

Writing FeedbackEhmet - Jul 22, 2010 / annmichelle7 - Jul 26, 2010

Sport personalities' salaries + blaming crime on media - Writing task 2 for Ielts

NEW - Next time thread will be removed again; you must learn about composing a relevant thread title. EF ...

Writing Feedbackphanhuyen - Jul 26, 2010 / — -

You'd find yourself at this spot each day! ; A Book and Coffee-shop

3 - Yeah, I noticed that verb tense thing, too. That is the kind of mistake I make all the time....

Writing FeedbackRajiv - Jul 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 25, 2010

Cities need to preserve historic buildings or destroy and replace them?

4 - ...cannot visualize a city without its historical structure. -- add one more sentence here to make your point. There...

Writing Feedbackaysa - Jul 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 25, 2010

Kalinese artists (GRE argument)

3 - nice!! Good point. In critical thinking, they refer to both "depth" and "breadth" of thinking. With breadth,...

Writing Feedbackvrajveer89 - Jul 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 25, 2010

GRE (Argument203) the question about the contrast of hospitals

3 - You write so well! I think you do a good job of writing clearly and eloquently. Here is how...

Writing Feedbackpauline65 - Jul 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 25, 2010

IELTS: Advertising tempts people to buy things irrespective of their real needs;Agree

4 - No problem, Lynn but also because of the other items displayed in the shops advertisements should be...

Writing FeedbackLynn Truong - Jul 24, 2010 / Yayz - Jul 25, 2010

sharp evolution in human history;Internet provides a lot of valuable information

7 - thanks for your helps. I have just participated in this forum and i hope to learn more experiences from...

Writing FeedbackDay - Jul 19, 2010 / Day - Jul 25, 2010

Watching movie at the cinema or at home? Discuss and state your opinion.

5 - Hi Yayz, I got it.Thank you so much. I am beginner,so just want to know exactly my mistakes. I...

Writing Feedbacknguyenhathu178 - Jul 23, 2010 / nguyenhathu178 - Jul 24, 2010

Violence is never a real solution to a political crisis. (MCAT written topic)

6 - Hi Ripoff, I don't see this material online anywhere, and it seems to be original as far as I...

Writing Feedbackflavia03 - Jul 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 24, 2010

The Benefits of Televising Government Proceedings.

4 - Here are some grammar corrections: Firstly, to a great extent, the phenomena of corruption will be lessened due to...

Writing Feedbacktingingforever - Jul 21, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 24, 2010

The issue of knives in general and at school - an opinion/letter to the editor

5 - The amount number of knife attacks in the community has risen dramatically at an astonishing rate. ...the...

Writing Feedbackjgv115 - Jul 21, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 23, 2010

toefl essay: spending money on supporting art or protecting environment

2 - - what 's more => furthermore or moreover - rising see level => rising sea level -...

Writing Feedbackeysa1 - Jul 23, 2010 / nguyenhathu178 - Jul 23, 2010

Not only women but also men have to take care of their children

7 - I think the essay should be had more explanation for each idea instead of giving ideas without example or...

Writing Feedbackbluebellia - Jun 30, 2010 / nguyenhathu178 - Jul 23, 2010

I would like to meet Jim Thorpe, the 1912 Olympic Gold Medal winner.

4 - (This is my first time editing an essay here as well! =) You switch between using Jim Thorpe's...

Writing Feedbackrmli - Jul 21, 2010 / Yayz - Jul 22, 2010

Student living situation: Campus or Not?

NEW - A lot of my friends live in apartments off campus, while others lives in dormitories. Both has it own...

Writing Feedbackltv94 - Jul 22, 2010 / — -

Making a healthy lifestyle is a responsibility of government or individual.discuss

NEW - ]Many people think it's the government's responsibility to ensure a country has a healthy lifestyle. Others believe it's up...

Writing Feedbacknguyenhathu178 - Jul 22, 2010 / — -

GRE (argument): Comparison of two cars

10 - Thanks a lot man! I think I got what you mean. The next time I will try to...

Writing Feedbackershad193 - Jul 18, 2010 / ershad193 - Jul 22, 2010

"Welcome to the good life" - Compare and Contrast Essay (Rich vs Poor)

5 - The person you are in one's eyes defines if you are high class or low. -- I think you...

Writing FeedbackEggss - Jul 14, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 20, 2010

My Sister and I - help proof-reading comparison/contrast paragraph

2 - Hi, Clarita I think, this is self-evident and true almost for all people, except twiling perhaps. Even...

Writing Feedbackccarlos816 - Jul 20, 2010 / Azeri - Jul 20, 2010

Ielts topic high levels of violence in films today :D

8 - Thank everybody for your all advices. :D /To Kevin :D i'm very glad to see your encouragement for me....

Writing Feedbackharubim123 - Jul 15, 2010 / harubim123 - Jul 20, 2010

Winners And Losers - & Help

4 - Thank you everyone for your advice. @ Kevin: I will learn to bring in metephor, simile. It will...

Writing FeedbackPhoebe Su - Jul 17, 2010 / Phoebe Su - Jul 20, 2010

The main purpose of art is not to teach, but to show

3 - Despite the fact that there are many various purposes of art, which includes include entertainment, expression, and exhibition,...

Writing Feedbackairman - Jul 17, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 19, 2010

essay - going to university and reasons for it

3 - ...there could be many possible reasons for attending college or university - from doing a degree to experiencing new...

Writing Feedbackfirefly5588 - Jul 16, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 19, 2010

(Disease) Prevention is better than cure.

6 - You should try to mention some benefits of cure also, then contradict them....

Writing Feedbackbluebellia - Jul 16, 2010 / Eggss - Jul 18, 2010

GRE TEST:Issue130 How children are socialized today determines the destiny of。。

8 - Thanks~ One of my reference book interprets it as The arts reveal the ideas and impulses of...

Writing Feedbacklanyuanweizi - Jul 10, 2010 / lanyuanweizi - Jul 18, 2010

Major cities should receive all the financial support they need. GRE(issue)

3 - The intro is very clear and interesting... But, one must make sure that it is not a case...

Writing Feedbackvrajveer89 - Jul 16, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 17, 2010

Descriptive Essay on making an important decision - test prep, CBEST.

5 - ...while bad ones bring us into the middle of nowhere. Throughout my entire life, the hardest decision that...

Writing Feedbackhoney91332 - Jul 3, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 17, 2010

Scandals -whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. GRE(Issue)

6 - Here is an error: Recently, a judge of the local anti-corruption court in the state of Karnataka in India...

Writing Feedbackvrajveer89 - Jul 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 17, 2010

Is the opinion of the majority-in government or in any other circumstances-a poor

4 - Throughout history, when a kind of opinion or the voice of the government spread about, more and more people...

Writing FeedbackLoftyyyy Girlll - Jul 14, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 17, 2010

Child Labor in the World - children are not anyone's property.

8 - Well, there is a good example of how the children are mistreated. One of them dropped a glass,...

Writing Feedbackyashsingh - Jul 8, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 17, 2010

The increasing number of overweight children

3 - i think that you need to explain on the means to prevent it and whether it will actually work....

Writing Feedbackscouser_ - Jul 16, 2010 / airman - Jul 17, 2010

Memory from the past can always give people more specific guide in the present - SAT

6 - Thank you Kevin...You are awesome!! I think I do make my opening sentences sound confused and I will revise...

Writing FeedbackLoftyyyy Girlll - Jul 14, 2010 / Loftyyyy Girlll - Jul 16, 2010

Describing graph + studying the past - two essays

2 - The given bar graph shows in percentage the contributions of three ... The contributions of three sectors changed...

Writing Feedbackvitconbobo - Jul 14, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 15, 2010

'You didn't build that?' - Luck has nothing to do w/ success

10 - Luck is something that is not in one's hands, that could not be controlled. Luck might not come exactly...

Writing Feedbackvaishali1980 - Jun 24, 2010 / Azeri - Jul 15, 2010

Education comes not from books but from practical experience. (MCAT)

4 - But also Additionally, students have the opportunity to learn essential communication skills, leaderships skills, with which no one could...

Writing Feedbackflavia03 - Jul 12, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 14, 2010

Developed nations have an obligation to provide aid to the underdeveloped nations.

3 - Countries with a well-established economies, welfare systems, education, and minimal levels of poverty are seen as developed and successful...

Writing Feedbackflavia03 - Jul 12, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 14, 2010

Essay for IELTS : Young people should go to university or not ?

4 - Hi Olivelee, that is a really nice name. You have a nice way of writing, too. I like...

Writing Feedbackpologirl27 - Jul 12, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 14, 2010

Clearview town mayoral election (GRE argument)

3 - I would write ...Moreover, there is no clear-cut evidence to suggest that... A small change makes it clearer....

Writing Feedbackvrajveer89 - Jul 12, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 14, 2010

Holistic communication in nursing care

4 - Sad Encouraged to know that my tutor failed me for my holistic communication essay is going to challenge...

Writing Feedbackantolo_kim - Jun 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 13, 2010

My (woman's) Weekend -TOEFL

4 - No need for an s at the end of time. Oh, I see that the others have already corrected...

Writing FeedbackNesreen - Jul 11, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 12, 2010

Advantages and disadvantages of living in apartment blocks.

2 - You are smart to use the word proliferate, but actually it is used in a slightly different way. It...

Writing Feedbackkumar1980 - Jul 10, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 12, 2010

GRE (Analysis of an argument): Handing over security job of a company to a group

8 - "Arms" is less clear, but it is okay. Weapons and ammunition is a very clear way to say it....

Writing Feedbackershad193 - Jul 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 12, 2010

Essay for IETLS: Natural Talents and Trained Talents. Dicuss.

2 - Talented people are those who attain a certain exceptional skill that others' skill cannot be compared to. What...

Writing FeedbackLynn Truong - Jul 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 11, 2010

The most important characteristic to be successful in life and best way to tackle with difficulties

3 - Hi, here is my adjustment. or you can look as a straggler after failing at an exam :...

Writing Feedbacksummer_breeze3 - Jul 9, 2010 / Lynn Truong - Jul 10, 2010

IELTS ESSAY: Effects of mobile phones

3 - I would like to add something... That you do not have to mention that like this: In this...

Writing Feedbacklin54390 - Jul 7, 2010 / Nesreen - Jul 9, 2010

Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 348)