Writing Feedback

IELTS: The Natural Resistance to Changes（reason and solution）

5 - I think to argue the effect of the phenomena, so that three items can be identified. Firstly, resisting change...

Writing Feedbackzhangqin - Apr 2, 2010 / Azeri - Apr 3, 2010

Too much attention is paid to and too much money is spent on keeping pets

2 - First, the sentence "Although people throughout the world are starving and other people spent too much money on keeping...

Writing Feedbacknittuot - Apr 2, 2010 / Azeri - Apr 2, 2010

TOEFL:people learn in different ways and what teaching method do you prefer?

3 - Thanks Jon, these are great corrections. They use several ways methods to broaden their... One of...

Writing Feedbackdjanat - Apr 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 2, 2010

Teaching of music, art, and drama are critical in revealing hidden abilities of children

3 - Thanks for your comments and for your help. I appreciate it....

Writing FeedbackAzeri - Mar 27, 2010 / Azeri - Apr 2, 2010

Obesity is a big problem in most of the countries

3 - Is that right?? I didn't know about that! that is quite impressive. I think it is such a...

Writing Feedbackmegha - Mar 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010

IELTS essay: Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare.

4 - As a result the changes, people's eating habits have also changed significantly over few decades. Use "and" before...

Writing Feedbackindrukas - Mar 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010

toefl writing paper ---why people attend college

2 - If you have a college education you will make more money, which in turn will enable you to have...

Writing Feedbackcietzsche - Mar 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010

GRE issue41---nonmainstream areas of inquiry VS mainstream science

2 - Admittedly, these non-mainstream areas, which belong to the ideology sphere, can... In the first place, because these pursuits...

Writing FeedbackJulia zeng - Mar 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010

"try to live within your means" - my Cause and Effect Essay

4 - You are welcome!! Well, you can practice by helping around here sometimes essayforum.com/ef-contributor-page/ we need people with life experience...

Writing Feedbackhtrrkt - Mar 29, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010

Write about your life ten years from now (100 words)

2 - --- tell them that study and work are both ongoing. I myself sometimes wonder... Furthermore, I...

Writing Feedbackoldbabie - Mar 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010

Edit essay - better life today vs. in nineteenth century - feedback

3 - Living in the contemporary world has many more advantages than living in the nineteenth century. --- Yeah, until some...

Writing Feedbacklovinglife77 - Mar 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010

university dormitories or apartments?

2 - Because student residences are safe, propitious from financial standpoint, and collective student life.--- this sentence is incomplete. It needs...

Writing Feedbacksamir614 - Mar 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010

Short Opinion Essay on Julio Cortazars "Night Face Up"-Feedback

2 - In that first paragraph, you tell us many things about the story, but you don't clearly establish a theme...

Writing FeedbackBilal815 - Mar 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010

Proportions of males and females - practising to write essays on interpretation of charts

3 - The graph compares the proportions of males and females in the highest qualification achieved for working age of population...

Writing FeedbackCharlesL - Mar 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010

"Eco Friendly India". TOEFL essay.

3 - thank you for the feed back....

Writing Feedbackmegha - Mar 18, 2010 / megha - Mar 31, 2010

Rhetorical Analysis - Advertisement photos

2 - Right after this, add another sentence before ending your first paragraph. Make it a thesis statement that clearly...

Writing FeedbackShelty - Mar 29, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 30, 2010

"the real reason for the Yosemite decline" - my argument essay

5 - EXCELLENT! Clearer than my guilding book. I Got it! thanx so much, I'll rewrite it later. :P...

Writing Feedbackjade - Mar 25, 2010 / jade - Mar 30, 2010

Response to Scholarly Reading of Paulo Friere's "Banking" Concept of Education

3 - Yes, thats good idea, I will do that way....

Writing Feedbackalina967 - Mar 23, 2010 / alina967 - Mar 30, 2010

DREAM BRING ME TO ANOTHER WORLD

5 - Thank you very much!...

Writing Feedbackautumnwave - Mar 23, 2010 / autumnwave - Mar 30, 2010

Living in the country or city? Living in the country aint all that you think!

3 - Therefore you have to go ... if you like going without money ... ...the country have has less...

Writing Feedbackjr24 - Mar 28, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 29, 2010

The legal drinking age in Ontario

4 - I think you should scratch out this sentence and replace it with a sentence says something about countries with...

Writing Feedbacknafiro - Mar 28, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 29, 2010

GRE ISSUE221 The chief benefit of the study

5 - Yes, I did find another one: Although time and tide elapsed, these inspiring words of Sphinx can still be...

Writing Feedbacksnowdropie - Mar 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 29, 2010

Tony Hoagland's "Romantic Moment" -- personal response essay

4 - Thank you very much for your reply!...

Writing Feedbackmbiscoe25 - Mar 4, 2010 / mbiscoe25 - Mar 28, 2010

IELTS essay-sports professionals people vs.people in other essential professions

2 - There has been some debate over whether athletes should get higher incomings incomes compared with... It is...

Writing Feedbackgmt_snail - Mar 27, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 28, 2010

Computers and operation systems - My introduction

5 - How about "compete to" instead of "compete about" ...are competing about releasing to release the best operating systems....

Writing FeedbackRaz - Mar 26, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 28, 2010

A woman's place should be in home?

8 - That is an important point, thanks! However, I don't see any contractions in the essay. Some words...

Writing Feedbackhungvud - Mar 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 27, 2010

ielts:role of computers in education

4 - Firstly, they prepare a friendly atmosphere in class. i recommend you dicuss more here....

Writing Feedbackgingerpopo - Mar 23, 2010 / gmt_snail - Mar 27, 2010

TOEFL:People enjoy change.others like their lives to stay the same

5 - thank u wang for the time that you have spent to edit my essay zhiyang , this topic...

Writing Feedbackdjanat - Mar 23, 2010 / djanat - Mar 26, 2010

the effects of stress (cause and effect paper)

11 - Here is another way to improve this sentence: Considering the fact that everybody deals with puzzling matters everyday, it...

Writing Feedbackbrooke4013 - Feb 10, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 26, 2010

"How people look, dress & act reveals their attitudes and interests" -GRE ISSUE

5 - Thank you! Kevin~...

Writing Feedbacksnowdropie - Mar 24, 2010 / snowdropie - Mar 26, 2010

Take caution (one important aspect of your character)

2 - No need for drastically here, because it has no meaning in the sentence: Time drastically came to a halt...

Writing Feedbackmegdance48 - Mar 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 24, 2010

Is Technology changing the world for better?

4 - to lead a live where we know when we have a sufficient amount of material comforts. material is always...

Writing Feedbacklongwu - Mar 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 24, 2010

Toefl integrated essay：Were there life-form on Mars？

4 - Good example! These have slightly different meanings, though!! If you say it completely refutes the passage, it sounds...

Writing Feedbackodie6467 - Mar 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 24, 2010

"Preventing Herpes" - Current Issue in Public Health using an article about health problem

9 - I think this should be two sentences instead of one: Herpes is one of the most co mmon sexually...

Writing Feedbackcomet2000 - Mar 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 24, 2010

My essay relating to job satisfaction :)

2 - Satisfaction obtained from work is considered as a more and more by many to be a crucial way to...

Writing Feedbackgmt_snail - Mar 21, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 22, 2010

Introduction/Thesis Help (good family = good future, bad family = bad future)

9 - Usually people say, "The teenage years" rather "the years of a teenager" Oh, I'm glad you finished and...

Writing FeedbackKurogashi - Mar 19, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 21, 2010

I believe that both classmates and parents have considerable influence on children

4 - if you see the mistakes, help correct them! Here we go: Oh, wait a minute! I...

Writing Feedbackjimmy1983 - Mar 19, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 20, 2010

Cause & Effects of Computer Addiction

5 - Thanks for all the kind words and help. If you guys see anything else or can think of something...

Writing Feedbackbrown287 - Mar 18, 2010 / brown287 - Mar 19, 2010

TOEFL:Decision can be made quickly

2 - We have to take make decisions. "make" Almost all people have to make some decisions in their daily...

Writing Feedbackdjanat - Mar 18, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 19, 2010

TOEFL:Some people trust their first impression about a person character

3 - "Lot" is a singular noun, so you have to write: There are many people who believe that the... ...

Writing Feedbackdjanat - Mar 18, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 19, 2010

"What is love?" - It's the beauty of a rose, yet often vile as her thorns

7 - Did she tell you what she took points off for? If she gives great feedback, you'll know what...

Writing Feedbacktrevor5249 - Mar 18, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 19, 2010

Private car ownership has grown dramatically in recent years.

7 - There are two small points : (1) two "there be " sentence patterns It is no doubt...

Writing Feedbacksaruul2004 - Mar 2, 2010 / cathyliu - Mar 18, 2010

'Getting what is different' - TOEFL:People are never satisfied with what they have.

2 - Great intro paragraph! The first factor is the jealousy. The jealousy ... Jealousy also makes people to...

Writing Feedbackdjanat - Mar 16, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 17, 2010

TOEFL: Most of secondary schools include the art and music course in their annual program

4 - but it will be tedious to have them as a mandatory courses at secondary school. he or she...

Writing Feedbackdjanat - Mar 14, 2010 / mocixuan - Mar 17, 2010

GRE argument: sales prediction

2 - In sum, the author wants to make a prediction about the future sales whereas his deduction contains several facets...

Writing Feedbackmocixuan - Mar 16, 2010 / r43ew - Mar 17, 2010

insufficient respect towards old members of society

3 - thanks kevin i'll try my best to overcome my mistakes in future...

Writing Feedbackvikasp - Mar 15, 2010 / vikasp - Mar 16, 2010

Report Help - Reflection on choice of education.

2 - I think the answer is to take it one sentence at a time. You know what it is...

Writing Feedbackspecwarop - Mar 14, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 15, 2010

living in one place or always moving for a good job ,house,or even climate.

3 - This is very thoughtful, but you will need to practice English a lot. It's hard to learn, but you...

Writing Feedbackmuxuan - Mar 14, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 15, 2010

Words effect (Cause and Effect essay - Power of words)

5 - Thanks Kevin and djanat.....

Writing Feedbackbilal ABUZENAH - Mar 12, 2010 / bilal ABUZENAH - Mar 15, 2010

Technical Article: How GNU/Linux differs from Unix

4 - Thanks a lot trevor5249 and EF_Kevin....

Writing Feedbackvinaytp - Mar 12, 2010 / vinaytp - Mar 15, 2010

American Government "Paper" Concerning the Constitution...

3 - During the drafting of the United States Constitution, the legislating delegates were faced with solving several dilemmas, including... In...

Writing FeedbackMarkTwain90Angl - Mar 13, 2010 / EF_Susan - Mar 14, 2010

"It is the artist, not the critic," GRE ISSUE144

4 - We human beings always feel our oats when talking about arts. --- What does "feel our oats" mean? I...

Writing Feedbackflydreams - Mar 12, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 13, 2010

TOEFL:reading fiction or watching movies

2 - Reading fiction is more advantageous than watching movies. First of all, reading fiction such as novels or short stories...

Writing Feedbackdjanat - Mar 13, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 13, 2010

comparing myself now to myself in the past

2 - your essay seem clear to understand. the bad thing is you have mentioned a lot of details i suggest...

Writing Feedbackangel 91 - Mar 11, 2010 / djanat - Mar 13, 2010

TOEFL: Schools should allot some hours a day to the physical exercises for their students.

2 - i think that you have little problem with grammar i'm pointing out some of your mistakes hope it will...

Writing Feedbackdjanat - Mar 12, 2010 / vikasp - Mar 12, 2010

TOEFL:a university plans to devlop a new research centre in your country.

2 - Most of the universities in the world seek to develop some research in some various countries. These research...

Writing Feedbackdjanat - Mar 11, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 12, 2010

IELTS Writing: opinions on children's part-time job

5 - Thanks for your help,Kevin~...

Writing Feedbackzebraessay - Mar 10, 2010 / zebraessay - Mar 12, 2010

What difficulties will face your country in the next ten years?

4 - Thank you Kevin, Your comments everytime help me much indeed, I really appreciate your responsiveness....

Writing Feedbackplotophyte - Mar 10, 2010 / plotophyte - Mar 12, 2010

Hunger - it's difficult to fully grasp the plight of it; Causes, Concerns and Symptoms

3 - Thanks!!...

Writing Feedbacksperkie - Feb 28, 2010 / sperkie - Mar 12, 2010

"people wanting to be important" - Definition essay: Pride

4 - Although it's a little bit late now, but thanks to both of you for your help :)...

Writing Feedbackmaryam_mah - Mar 10, 2010 / maryam_mah - Mar 11, 2010

Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 348)