Writing Feedback

TOEFL:Pets should be treated like family & Reasons for why it is so

2 - pets have become people's favorite. People will take care of animals if they are interested in adopting...

Writing Feedbackjems007 - Sep 28, 2010 / fordragon - Sep 28, 2010

Communicating information has been a primary and constant necessity for people

5 - Thanks. I've found that DUE TO is a nice phrase`...

Writing Feedbackfordragon - Sep 7, 2010 / fordragon - Sep 28, 2010

The importance of a computer to college students

NEW - Technology has been dramatically developed worldwide so far in most of social life aspects, especially Internet and telecommunication. In...

Writing Feedbackcandynguyen381 - Sep 28, 2010 / — -

The employees would not stay in one job for various reasons. It's inappropriate.

4 - I also found that if the word "overhead" were to be changed with "liability," the sentence(s) might sound better....

Writing Feedbackjag - Sep 28, 2010 / mea505 - Sep 28, 2010

TOEFL: good qualities of a good neighbor; enthusiastic, easy-going, reliable

4 - Mark, thank you soooooo much! your opinions help a lot. Yeah, you are right. I do lose control of...

Writing Feedbackchristie111 - Sep 26, 2010 / christie111 - Sep 28, 2010

The importance of vocational guide in secondary school

4 - Thanh you two very much ^^! I'm not good at using tenses....

Writing FeedbackAlamanda Bud - Sep 18, 2010 / Alamanda Bud - Sep 28, 2010

My Morning Cup of Coffee essay - check for grammar, and spelling!

2 - Hi Hannah, I don't really get what you said in this sentence. "The only thing worse than not...

Writing Feedbackhannah16 - Sep 27, 2010 / Tomomi - Sep 28, 2010

Narrative: an exciting protagonist in Toy Story 2.

2 - The story is built around the protagonist in that the protagonist is always taking the initiative. ------This is a...

Writing Feedbacksoul9 - Sep 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 27, 2010

TOEFL; Decisions should be made alone or not

6 - You take a step, but you MAKE a decision. ...if they are not made after careful thought. ...

Writing Feedbackjag - Sep 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 27, 2010

a one-page essay (how you relax after getting home from school or work.)

5 - What I Do When I Get Home When I get home every day from my school at 1:30,...

Writing FeedbackZubaida - Sep 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 27, 2010

Malaysia, Philippines, USA - Biography essay... am I on the right track?

4 - I think it will be better and more interesting if you cut out the first part: This may come...

Writing Feedbackkmango - Sep 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 27, 2010

UNEDUCATED Vs EDUCATED (WHO TEACHES WHO?)

7 - I agree...people learn from experience as well as education, so obviously uneducated people CAN teach educated people. Google...

Writing Feedbackupul - Sep 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 27, 2010

Luxury goods market is on the decline: GRE argument essay

2 - The argument argues...this doesn't sound right. How about 'The argument is that...? that due to the declining state...

Writing Feedbackradwa - Sep 24, 2010 / EF_Susan - Sep 26, 2010

Creative Writing Narrative - Academic Decathlon

2 - I'm in the virtual presence of greatness. Here are some ideas for you: Neither one of us paid...

Writing Feedbackaremmegs - Sep 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 26, 2010

A broad essay assignment called "Who Are We?" (antidepressant medication, depression)

3 - "Who are we, as patients or participants in our medical communities?--- for this, you would write a report about...

Writing Feedbackdropbows90 - Sep 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 26, 2010

IELTS essay/ describing the information in the two graphs below

2 - Maria, thanks for doing this! Ana, I think this is the kind of essay that should help you improve...

Writing Feedbackpendar - Sep 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 26, 2010

compare team sports and individual sports

2 - "Let" is okay. "Enable" is better. In addition,team sports make enable us to know lots of abilities. --- actually...

Writing Feedbackdaini219 - Sep 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 26, 2010

My Writing Soul: Literacy Narrative Assignment First Draft

2 - I grew up writing from an early age, and the fact that I loved reading made me want to...

Writing Feedbackhalogenious7 - Sep 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 26, 2010

"Success is a journey, not a destination" -extended definition essay

3 - the content was very mature and i really liked it =) this part however doesnt seem to...

Writing Feedbackgingerbbyluv23 - Sep 24, 2010 / ahchong - Sep 26, 2010

Students should study alone or in organized groups? IELTS writing task pratice.

5 - Really appreciate your kindness and efforts ....

Writing Feedbackcicely - Sep 19, 2010 / cicely - Sep 26, 2010

Home school vs Traditional school. Which would you prefer?

4 - Thanks for both, Tina & Kevin. I'm working on it...

Writing FeedbackKathyLala - Sep 21, 2010 / KathyLala - Sep 25, 2010

COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY AND TRANSPORTATION; sensationalize the gnawing anxiety

2 - The irreversible proliferation of technological advancement in the field of telecommunication and travel paves the way for a modern...

Writing Feedbackshofa_nefertete - Sep 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 25, 2010

FAILED MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE; What are the causes of such separation?

5 - Aside from that, lust and infidelity bloom on both partners since one cannot or might not fully suffice as...

Writing Feedbackshofa_nefertete - Sep 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 25, 2010

toefl: the best criterion for selecting a person to train others

4 - Yep, I agree. Move on to your next challenge. You are already prepared for the toefl. If this essay...

Writing Feedbacksuve - Sep 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 25, 2010

The choice of studying at home by using technology or studying at school?

3 - This issue of selecting the option of studying at home or the option of studying at school is not...

Writing Feedbacksugarycandy - Sep 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 25, 2010

Working for a large company - training, work exposure & networking opportunities

2 - ...receive better exposure in contrast to the exposure in a small company. When the organization is large, they...

Writing Feedbackjag - Sep 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 25, 2010

TOEFL;close friends vs casual friends

4 - I think I may have told you this already, but if you write this well you will have no...

Writing Feedbackrosh - Sep 21, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 25, 2010

EFFECTS OF INDUSTRIALIZATION TO ENVIRONMENT AND ECONOMY

7 - I really appreciate much your comments...

Writing Feedbackshofa_nefertete - Sep 21, 2010 / shofa_nefertete - Sep 25, 2010

Digital textbooks vs Textbook

12 - Yes, I understand that. I wrote "all messed up" because I did not understand it when you had...

Writing FeedbackKathyLala - Sep 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 24, 2010

IELTS: CAPITAL PUNISHMENT TO CONTROL VIOLENCE AND CRIMES? Yes, it is important

4 - I strongly affirm with my resounding agreement with the establishment of capital punishment to eradicate the increasing occurrences of...

Writing Feedbackshofa_nefertete - Sep 21, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 24, 2010

Veteran of Domestic Wars: I need some critique here.

3 - I think this sentence should be changed so that it specifies the experience and gives a little hint...

Writing FeedbackTizma - Sep 21, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 24, 2010

Happy is difficult to define. What factors are important to achieve happiness?

3 - Hi Duy, After looking at what Zubaida has written about what you wrote in your essay, I certainly...

Writing Feedbackanhduy_tran - Sep 24, 2010 / mea505 - Sep 24, 2010

Essay _ How will Vietnamese diet change in the next 50 years?

4 - Thanks Megan and Kevin for advices. It is quite boring and I am trying to re-phrase to make it...

Writing Feedbackngcanh - Sep 14, 2010 / ngcanh - Sep 24, 2010

IELTS ESSAY, how three countries (USA, UK and Malaysia) deal with dangerous waste

2 - hi there ! I can not search the link of chart that you provide so i don't know whether...

Writing Feedbackpendar - Sep 24, 2010 / anhduy_tran - Sep 24, 2010

'no government restrictions'; Creative Artists vs Freedom of Expression

3 - Personally, I think you should reform your essay to be more academic. Your introductory paragraph had better introduce about...

Writing FeedbackVY NGUYEN - Sep 9, 2010 / anhduy_tran - Sep 24, 2010

IELTS essay, It is unfair to have children engaged in some kind of paid work

5 - One person works on the project. Two people work on the project. When there is only one person/thing, the...

Writing Feedbackpendar - Sep 21, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 23, 2010

Students' academic performance strongly reflects their teachers' teaching performance.

8 - Yeah, I think this kid could pass a test with even higher standards. This is solid English writing....

Writing Feedbackpanninggold - Sep 20, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 23, 2010

effect of choosing wrong major in owns life

NEW - hi, can you read my topic and send feedback :) Everybody choose something when days come.Especially student must...

Writing Feedbacksulooz07 - Sep 23, 2010 / — -

"a rusty old chain on tree" descriptive essay, help w/ introduction, conclusion,title

3 - Someone who's never lived in my house might think I have an ordinary back yard.--- I fixed the...

Writing Feedbackantitherockstar - Sep 20, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 23, 2010

Can computer replace teacher?; IELTS Writing Part 2

5 - But in my opinion, I need to pratice writing essays with different topic for the IELTS test. So I...

Writing Feedbacktom_shen - Sep 22, 2010 / tom_shen - Sep 23, 2010

TOEFL: MONEY is not necessarily be the most important aspect of a job always!

2 - Hi Diluni! The best way to lengthen it (and I am assuming you are talking about the conclusion)...

Writing Feedbackupul - Sep 23, 2010 / mea505 - Sep 23, 2010

Learning with teachers or learning by ourselves. Which do you prefer?

2 - I believe that it is always good to present both sides first, then appeal your idea. You made your...

Writing Feedbackprettybear94 - Sep 22, 2010 / brlee82 - Sep 22, 2010

"How, parents, talk to novice and expert children, history museum" - article critique

4 - Yes, if you learn anything here let it be the importance of a topic sentence. Actually, when I looked...

Writing Feedbackgreenswing - Sep 17, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 22, 2010

IELTS Writing CO2 emissions for different forms of transport in the European Union

2 - There are some errors on punctuations at the same time. This lacks major trending on the bar graph. The...

Writing Feedbackpendar - Sep 22, 2010 / shofa_nefertete - Sep 22, 2010

Reflection about my 2nd month writing course; I'd like to get support

3 - Dear Pamela I am a student in english and I need more practise too. However, I revised your last...

Writing FeedbackPampieri - Sep 21, 2010 / pendar - Sep 22, 2010

Factors contributing to job satisfaction of adults at work

6 - I must admit that I've to work a bit more on this essay and focus on the topic! Meanwhile,...

Writing Feedbackcarolamores - Sep 19, 2010 / carolamores - Sep 21, 2010

Education and scientific researches in developing vs. industrialized counties

2 - Dear pendar, => ... more years in school than those living in developing countries/ones. =>...

Writing Feedbackpendar - Sep 20, 2010 / sharkondiet - Sep 21, 2010

compare the american and somalia wedding edit this essay

NEW - I when to one of my friend wedding and I was see the different American and Somalia wedding. I...

Writing Feedbacksadia456 - Sep 21, 2010 / — -

Everyone would benefit from taking more exercise do you agree?

13 - Hi Tina, I was waiting for Kevin to chime in with respect to your essay -- and he...

Writing Feedbackn_tina59 - Sep 19, 2010 / mea505 - Sep 21, 2010

The teachers should be adequately compensated for their hard labor, skills, commitment and sacrifice

3 - Either use a period or a colon. It is better to use a period, but a colon is not...

Writing Feedbackdil - Sep 19, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 21, 2010

Friend for Life: writing class

7 - Friend are important for our life I have 2 friend very close to me One is kitty another...

Writing Feedbacktanhung106 - Sep 12, 2010 / KellyBarbirgirl - Sep 21, 2010

A teacher is the one who guides the child how to live a successful life; Parents

2 - Hi, I think your essay has lot of good points. I like it. Please take a look at the...

Writing FeedbackGeorgesebastian - Sep 21, 2010 / dil - Sep 21, 2010

"I am a loaf of bread" - Unique Personal Essay: Wanted

5 - Yep, great job here... great variation of sentence length, and it is just such a cool metaphor. The word...

Writing Feedbackmneale324 - Sep 14, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 21, 2010

Memorable people that influenced you (my grandmother) - Cbest writing

3 - During our life time we all have encountered some memorable people that influenced .In fact,I grew up in a...

Writing Feedbackconcord123 - Sep 18, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 20, 2010

The co-workers should believe in fellowship. Some important characteristics of a co-worker - Toefl

5 - Therefore he always left office sharp on time without giving any consideration to whether the work had been finished...

Writing Feedbacksuve - Sep 18, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 20, 2010

Isn't it worth to try to find out what more things wait for us on the other side

4 - Thanks, Shannon Martin & Kevin. I made careless mistakes. Thank you for your advice. It has been great...

Writing Feedbackbrlee82 - Sep 18, 2010 / brlee82 - Sep 20, 2010

Illustration Essay - "A Look Into My Life Through Obstacles" - feedback

4 - Thank you Susan and Kevin for your suggestions! Your help and input are very much appreciated :)...

Writing FeedbackLaramie - Sep 17, 2010 / Laramie - Sep 20, 2010

My Favorite Holiday is Eid Al-Fitr

4 - Yes, in that case, you are correct. It should read: my twenty-one-day-old baby. Again, your essay was very...

Writing FeedbackZubaida - Sep 19, 2010 / mea505 - Sep 20, 2010

university students required to attend classes?; it should be their decision

6 - Hello. Here's my two-cents. =) In order to have a substantial essay, you need to have balance and...

Writing Feedbacksoccon36 - Sep 17, 2010 / idasuhaila - Sep 20, 2010

In my view studying in a group is a better method than studying on your own.

10 - Yep, awesome. That was my mistake. I was not sure when I was mentioning that. Good call!...

Writing Feedbackdil - Sep 14, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 19, 2010

Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 348)