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|[TOEFL] 'unforgettable time' - Childhood is the happiest time of people's life
4 - @orlando: thank you so much. your feedback is very useful to me. To answer your question, in my native...
Writing Feedbackyin - Nov 6, 2009 / yin - Nov 6, 2009
|The Influence of Natural Magic to Modern Science - Concise? Sentence Flow?
2 - Well, the first sentence is in rough shape. How about this: Natural magic had an impact on science, and...
Writing FeedbackShellburger - Nov 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 6, 2009
|SHOPPING OBSESSION; Have we become addicted to shopping?
Writing FeedbackKalindNP - Nov 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 6, 2009
|What person from the past would you like to meet?
Writing FeedbackPoojasugandhi - Nov 4, 2009 / Poojasugandhi - Nov 6, 2009
|the teacher are responsible for motivating students to learn
2 - here are some suggestions: Some people SAY that teachers are responsible for motivating students to learn. I cannot...
Writing Feedbackltb12356 - Nov 6, 2009 / umrily181 - Nov 6, 2009
|Beowulf, the theme of mortality
2 - It looks like you need to do a paragraph break, perhaps just before "In this story"...that will give closure...
Writing Feedbackflyingseahors3 - Nov 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 6, 2009
|Subjects such as art, music, and drama should be a part of every child's basic education
4 - In your essay, Although both groups think they are right? There should not be question mark. They both are...
Writing Feedbackamir6584 - Nov 4, 2009 / Poojasugandhi - Nov 6, 2009
|[TOEFL] Reasons to attend university or college; 'higher hierarchy in society'
Writing Feedbackyin - Oct 30, 2009 / yin - Nov 6, 2009
|newspaper is going to die in the near future due to popularity of the internet?
3 - Thanks Darius, that is some great work! This essay is good! It does not have many mistakes... ...
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Nov 4, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2009
|Should people let their feelings guid them?
4 - Yes, that's right. The thesis should go right at the end of that short first paragraph you have. Now,...
Writing FeedbackHarmonSa - Nov 4, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2009
|endangered animals - toefl 48
3 - ...space cannot necessarily be the best way to achieve long-term development and sustainability. ...would disagree with this point;...
Writing FeedbackClaire C - Nov 4, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2009
|'Financially a better choice' - Rogerian Argumental essay On Wal-Mart
2 - Like for any big corporation, Wal-Mart often faces lawsuits and accusations ; for... Wow, many people would disagree...
Writing Feedbackdjon_md - Nov 3, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2009
|Not Easily Broken: An Examination of Friendships(english essay)
2 - ...That is what Amir is thinking before he commits the sins against his friend... I really like how...
Writing Feedbackdbom17 - Nov 3, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2009
|"People just keep changing"; What motivates people to change? For SAT
5 - Your first sentence is great!! Ha ha, your cool personality is reflected in your comments before the essay....
Writing FeedbackHarmonSa - Nov 3, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2009
|Toefl writing about "agree or disagree"
3 - You should write: ...use the protected areas... instead of "protecting areas." And use a comma here: ...animals die...
Writing Feedbacksusan323 - Nov 3, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2009
|"a helpless laboratory mouse in the US schools" - College Essay
6 - haha, you are welcome. I'm also new to this forum, registered only 2 days earlier than you. I think...
Writing Feedbackgcsm04523 - Nov 4, 2009 / HarmonSa - Nov 5, 2009
|45 min CLEP essay: "Should acts of hate be criminalized?"
Writing Feedbackcelesteshimizu - Oct 31, 2009 / celesteshimizu - Nov 4, 2009
|happiness definition and factors influence in achieving happiness - consensus of opinions
4 - As much as possible ensure your first sentence is devoid of spelling or grammatic errors. Thinhtvdhtm, iT IS THERE...
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Sep 30, 2009 / west - Nov 4, 2009
|TOEFL ESSAY--- The most important characteristic a friend should have
2 - I think you should tell the reader that your friend enabled you to complete the problems by teaching you....
Writing FeedbackHellgreeting - Nov 2, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 4, 2009
|Arguementative/Persuasive essay on camping
2 - How about "camping can take many forms" instead of "definitions?" Camping to one person can mean seclusion in...
Writing Feedbackbrianw - Nov 1, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 4, 2009
|Non-academic subjects should be removed from school. Agree or not?
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Nov 3, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Nov 4, 2009
|TOEFL essay large firm and small company - higher income in a large one
4 - I like your essay... I preferred to working in the big firm. I will definitely benefit from their experience...
Writing Feedbackrmli - Nov 3, 2009 / bilal ABUZENAH - Nov 3, 2009
|Can happiness be defined? What factors are important in achieving happiness?
2 - Hapiness is an experience people wish to have. How to measure or define it has been a controversial topic...
Writing Feedbackwest - Nov 3, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Nov 3, 2009
|The View out my Widndow and what it means
2 - If you want to talk about meandering, use commas: As I meander into the kitchen, I glance through...
Writing Feedbackperejdam - Nov 1, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
|My friend recommended me to read "The Great Blue Yonder"
2 - This is so good! However, you seem to be using yonder incorrectly. Google it. I think it refers to...
Writing Feedbackcryingpiggy - Nov 1, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
|Does music pay a important role in people's life?
2 - I particularly enjoyed reading this essay because I myself am a musician and understand where you're coming from :)...
Writing Feedbackmandyhhhhhhhh - Nov 3, 2009 / rechungp - Nov 3, 2009
|sending criminals in jail or offering them education & job training
3 - Thank you Kevin. I deeply appreciate your modification and advice.The next article, I will try my best to avoid...
Writing Feedbackmandyhhhhhhhh - Oct 31, 2009 / mandyhhhhhhhh - Nov 3, 2009
|argumentative journal : "Being a Victim of American Popular Culture" -feedback
Writing Feedbackdinda - Oct 30, 2009 / dinda - Nov 2, 2009
|help revise wording or grammer, about aero-model
2 - Wow, very impressive. you started 2 sentences with "By." How about this for the second one: We took...
Writing Feedbackconnan0702 - Oct 31, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 2, 2009
|'demand for comprehensive talents' - People attend college or univ. for a reason
2 - I'd like to say that, you organize this essay very well and the 1st and 2nd paragraphs of the...
Writing Feedbackfuhuanluck - Nov 2, 2009 / Hellgreeting - Nov 2, 2009
|Ode to a nightingale by John Keats
2 - ...and thoughts by using multiple techniques different ways . It looks like you need one more sentence in...
Writing Feedbacklazord - Oct 30, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 1, 2009
|Poetry Analysis Essay: Dylan Thomas- "Do Not Go Gently into That Good Night"
Writing FeedbackRod_Farva - Oct 30, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 1, 2009
|"Human needs..": Disagree or agree.
Writing FeedbackFloria_ran - Oct 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 1, 2009
|The knowledge from books and knowledge from experience are, in fact, two diffrent stages of learning
Writing Feedbacklucidmanner - Oct 29, 2009 / lucidmanner - Nov 1, 2009
|Should Euthanasia be legalized?
16 - There are simple MLA formats that you can google online it helped me a whole lot when writing my...
Writing Feedbackjohnnylin_24 - Oct 20, 2009 / jaimeealexis - Oct 31, 2009
|A licence to Write ?
11 - I lived some years in Bethesda, near Washington DC. My neighbor had a very cynical attitude towards Indians and...
Writing FeedbackRajiv - Sep 19, 2009 / Rajiv - Oct 31, 2009
|TOEFL: doing a part time job?(agree or disagree)
Writing Feedbackfuhuanluck - Oct 30, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 30, 2009
|Changes in the world in the coming century?
Writing Feedbackvothiha - Oct 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Oct 30, 2009
|[TOEFL]Parents are the best teachers? Yes, they know their children better
2 - This is not really a mistake, but I'll just make a suggestion: From my point of view, I agree...
Writing Feedbackyin - Oct 30, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Oct 30, 2009
|Food preparation became more convenient than it used to be
Writing FeedbackMNA - Oct 29, 2009 / MNA - Oct 30, 2009
|TOEFL - prefer large or small company? Large - stable jobs and fine salaries
4 - it is a contrast essay, so your structure is wrong. mention both merits and demerits , besides what overweighs...
Writing FeedbackAnly - Oct 16, 2009 / fuhuanluck - Oct 30, 2009
|"television programme production essay" Introduction feedback.
2 - And that's the problem, right there. Your essay so far is vague and wordy, instead of specific and...
Writing Feedbackkors88 - Oct 28, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 29, 2009
|take up the endangered animals' habitat - toefl essay
Writing FeedbackLapland - Oct 27, 2009 / brood910 - Oct 29, 2009
|How to give a presentation with ease and confidence?
3 - Thank you for your praise. I know the language is my largest barrier that prevents me from stating my...
Writing Feedbackvothiha - Oct 26, 2009 / vothiha - Oct 29, 2009
|Contrast viewpoints of the author and the lecturer about using cell phone
5 - tuanlnc have a hard look the reasons cause accidents and should not focus only on using cell phone. >>>...
Writing Feedbacktuanlnc - Oct 21, 2009 / vothiha - Oct 29, 2009
|I have to write an essay on both "The Storm" & The Story of an Hour"
3 - hardwork...
Writing FeedbackmrsArias - Oct 28, 2009 / killerwind - Oct 29, 2009
|Personal Essay- A leader is who I became
2 - Nice logical flow. That's good. In the first sentence--I don't think countries are serviced, but served. Also, 911...
Writing Feedbackvbdesichick - Oct 28, 2009 / EF_Stephen - Oct 28, 2009
|TOEFL IBT: SCHOOL EDUCATION OR SELF STUDY (CONTRAST)
4 - It's better. The idea is clearer this time. Admittedly independent study is more convenient. However, principles, communication and cooperation...
Writing Feedbackfuhuanluck - Oct 26, 2009 / litingjiao - Oct 28, 2009
|Rice contribution essay - 'my experience and ability to seek solutions'
2 - Here is the good way to use a colon: ...lived in three different countries: China, New Zealand and...
Writing Feedbackblubunny5 - Oct 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Oct 28, 2009
|Eating at Home or at a Restaurant? I prefer HOME
8 - Try rereading your essay and fixing some of your spelling mistakes. It looks to me like you kind of...
Writing Feedbacksaadatyar - Oct 11, 2009 / juliat cung - Oct 27, 2009
|"TV is a such idiot box."; INFLUENCE of TV and MOVIES on people's behavior
9 - you can use the good dictionary to check grammar errors by yourseft and the option of Word Window by...
Writing Feedbackalina967 - Oct 22, 2009 / vothiha - Oct 27, 2009
|Brave New World and Today's Societal Parallels
5 - @mattsaysfierce- I would certainly hope you turned yours in! I am in your class and I stayed home today...
Writing Feedbackdonfilipe - Oct 27, 2009 / donfilipe - Oct 27, 2009
|Even though some of the ads are beneficent, we should have discretion for national purchase
Writing Feedbackung0911 - Oct 24, 2009 / litingjiao - Oct 26, 2009
|Why is music important to many people?
4 - Most people would say because the music became popular since it has been used in advertisement business. no...
Writing Feedbackbaitassel - Oct 25, 2009 / fuhuanluck - Oct 26, 2009
|"Gross National Happiness" as a measurement of the success of the country. Maryland Essay #4 review
Writing Feedbackplaya25 - Oct 25, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 26, 2009
|Win is always your if you do fight from your deep heart. A success does not depend from luck.
8 - Your thesis should probably be something along the lines of "Success often requires a combination of good luck and...
Writing Feedbackalina967 - Oct 23, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 26, 2009
|Abortion: Why it should be Illegal.
Writing Feedbackjuliat cung - Oct 25, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 26, 2009
|the time from birth to twelve years is the most important period in life time?
3 - hi Clare Healy, thanks for your comment however, i find that your comment is less useful what i need...
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 25, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Oct 25, 2009
|Intrusive, friendly & polite; What are the qualities of a good neighbor.\?
Writing Feedbackbaitassel - Oct 24, 2009 / baitassel - Oct 25, 2009
|Is it better to marry someone who is similiar to you? or different wth you?
Writing Feedbackjimmi - Oct 25, 2009 / jimmi - Oct 25, 2009
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