|Writing Feedback [23,024] - page 361 of 384|
|traditional foods vs international fast food (which is bad)
Writing FeedbackEricc - Aug 15, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 26, 2009
|'Everyone was burned to crisp' - "Jacob" - grammar for my Essay?
4 - This part is confusing to me. You should state that Jacob insisted on quitting school first. Otherwise, there...
Writing FeedbackSPak - Aug 26, 2009 / Llamapoop123 - Aug 26, 2009
|[toefl] topic (dis/agree) There are times when lying is acceptable.
4 - I think lying for good purposes is not only acceptable but also necessary. White lies are sometimes very useful....
Writing Feedbacksugarzhi - Aug 26, 2009 / tuanlnc - Aug 26, 2009
|Old saying; 'experience is the best teacher' -Review for CLEP
11 - Should be an "are" here because of the word "and". ____________________________________________________________ _______________________ I would suggest including...
Writing Feedbacktg2009 - Aug 12, 2009 / JunYuan - Aug 26, 2009
|Non-traditional Student College Personal Essay
Writing FeedbackSFLady77 - Aug 25, 2009 / SFLady77 - Aug 25, 2009
|Moral and ethical standards and effective leadership--GRE issue
3 - Why do you mention business leaders? The prompt specifically asks you to discuss public officials. I think you...
Writing FeedbackSuperkid - Aug 24, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 25, 2009
|princeton summer- I practiced soccer with my cousins
Writing Feedbackladidi - Aug 25, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 25, 2009
|Appearance and society values--An GRE issue
9 - Tell us what you mean by that. I'm also curious about your insights on differences in thinking patterns....
Writing Feedbacktsp8487 - Aug 23, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 25, 2009
|Benefits and drawbacks of urbanization. Better life for older in the countryside
Writing FeedbackJino - Aug 4, 2009 / HarryK - Aug 25, 2009
|GRE: Knowledge and Rejection of Authority
5 - Thanks Notoman for aiding me with my English. Thanks Sean for correcting my inaccuracies and also giving me...
Writing FeedbackJunYuan - Aug 23, 2009 / JunYuan - Aug 25, 2009
|GRE Argument ---antibiotics study results
7 - I am in favor of Simone. What you really should focus on is the last sentense. Since you have...
Writing Feedbackyx200986 - Aug 24, 2009 / Superkid - Aug 24, 2009
|TOEFL Subjects like art should be a part of child's education, it's a beneficial and necessary trend
Writing Feedbacksugarzhi - Aug 22, 2009 / sugarzhi - Aug 24, 2009
|'Given name from God' - UNC- Chapel Hill College Essay
4 - Usually, you would use this sort of essay to talk about experiences you have had or qualities you possess...
Writing Feedbackemilysimpson - Aug 22, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 23, 2009
|I laid there,hoping that I could pass into the void & never return; PATIENCE
6 - I've moved this to the essays and term papers thread, which seems like a better category for it than...
Writing Feedbackkennethfatty - Aug 23, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 23, 2009
|The Saluda hospital - Advice for my GRE argument
6 - "The author" works. Or "the newspaper," or "the article." These all would be more standard, and accurate, than "the...
Writing Feedbackmathsam - Aug 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 23, 2009
|The surest indicator of a great nation---GRE Issue
Writing FeedbackSuperkid - Aug 23, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 23, 2009
|Do you believe that change is a "good and necessary" thing?
5 - Study up on articles, as you sometimes leave them out. Also, be aware of plurals; you often neglect...
Writing Feedbackjeff - Aug 22, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 22, 2009
|Topic: Children engaging in paid work can have both negative and positive effects
5 - I can see how the prompt -- which itself blurs the distinction between child labor and youth employment --...
Writing Feedbackstranger1130 - Aug 19, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 21, 2009
|TOEFL essay: Has easily-prepared-food improved the way people live?
7 - You don't need to address counterarguments in a TOEFL essay. In fact, you probably don't want to. You certainly...
Writing FeedbackLiwen - Aug 20, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 21, 2009
|Criminal records, British and Australia laws - IELTS Essay
9 - Passive constructions use the object of an action as the sentence's grammatical subject, as oppose to the active voice,...
Writing Feedbackstealthreaction - Aug 18, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 21, 2009
|IELTS Essay: Main purpose for Universities
Writing Feedbackcxfcxh - Aug 18, 2009 / jyxff - Aug 21, 2009
|Music helps people both personally and maintains the culture values of country
5 - Hi EF_Sean, GeneK, EF_Simone thank you much for your comments. I will incorporate your comments in my next essay....
Writing Feedbackprabudhakshin - Aug 20, 2009 / prabudhakshin - Aug 20, 2009
|"Wise people appreciate the little things in life" - narrative essay
Writing Feedbackbal0601 - Aug 11, 2009 / bal0601 - Aug 20, 2009
|"Actions speak louder than words" (do you agree or disagree with the statement)
Writing FeedbackJanie Tine - Jul 29, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 20, 2009
|compare and contrast what conflicts the heroes have and how they face them
Writing Feedbackhollyn91 - Aug 20, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 20, 2009
|Vice-President of Phi Theta Kappa; SERVE the underserved/Experiences
2 - No, the question is not the same. The second question is both more general and more specific, asking for...
Writing Feedbacksad_an6el - Aug 20, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 20, 2009
|TOEFL; Television Versus Friends and family
Writing Feedbackdhanh90 - Aug 14, 2009 / sad_an6el - Aug 20, 2009
|The proper use of public resource--GRE ISSUE Appreciate your advice
4 - I notice that you work implicitly within Maslow's hierarchy of needs, which asserts that people will not care about...
Writing FeedbackSuperkid - Aug 19, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 20, 2009
|The benefit of a global university-- GRE topic, need help
Writing FeedbackSuperkid - Aug 18, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 19, 2009
|English Aboriginal feature article.
3 - Even an editorial should probably be a bit more comprehensive and tightly reasoned. The Australian government should make it...
Writing FeedbackBillmc - Aug 19, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 19, 2009
|"Memom, how did you draw this?" Topic of Choice Essay -- opinions and critiques
5 - As others have pointed out, you point isn't really clear here. You decided that you were interested in art...
Writing FeedbackMichelleHob - Aug 19, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 19, 2009
|Formal educational credentials and hiring employees - GRE essay
5 - To improve your sentence by noticing that DON'T MISS WORDS, I believe your essay will be more attractive and...
Writing Feedbackwonglofu - Aug 11, 2009 / Superkid - Aug 19, 2009
|Concept and story line good; I need help with correcting the grammar in my essay
4 - We patiently waited alongsideof many other excited spouses and parents. As the buses pulled up, everyone started cheering...
Writing Feedbackjenni929 - Aug 19, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 19, 2009
|"pet proposes man disposes" - TOEFL: Should pets be treated as family members?
Writing Feedbackalwaysholly - Aug 12, 2009 / alwaysholly - Aug 18, 2009
|What do you want most in a friend TOEFL
7 - got it. thank you so much! your examples are easy to understand ,and i learned not only the grammar...
Writing Feedbacktoefl7 - Aug 16, 2009 / sugarzhi - Aug 18, 2009
|The Next Patient
7 - The air dances violently in the space between our stare. wow, definitely gave me goosebumps :o Awesome essay!...
Writing Feedbackjdharake - Aug 14, 2009 / CalLover - Aug 17, 2009
|toefl: We live in a world of music - Why is it important to so many people?
Writing FeedbackLiwen - Aug 16, 2009 / Liwen - Aug 17, 2009
|parents and relatives make the decisions
3 - Whereas parents and relatives never do this? No parent has ever pressured his or her child to be,...
Writing Feedbacktoefl7 - Aug 17, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 17, 2009
|GRE Essay on "skepticism in student's learning"
6 - Your essay mainly seems to be arguing in favor of the idea, rather than against it as your introduction...
Writing Feedbacknatz - Aug 9, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 17, 2009
|"Questioning authority" - GRE topic.
4 - You need to elaborate more on your examples. At the moment, you are not using them to actually prove...
Writing FeedbackKahollavan81 - Aug 16, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 17, 2009
|Travel Versus Saving Money (IELTS test prep essay)
Writing Feedbackorlando - Aug 16, 2009 / orlando - Aug 16, 2009
|"Justice can only exist when people obey laws that are not to their liking."
3 - Simone is right -- you need to start by defining what you mean by "justice". Virtually any definition you...
Writing FeedbackKahollavan81 - Aug 12, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 16, 2009
|We are blessed with modern tools; Modern technology
Writing Feedbackrosamond00 - Aug 7, 2009 / arsdtbk - Aug 16, 2009
|Frankenstein Essay: Critiques?
3 - A thesis needs to be debatable. Your isn't. Say something about the message of the book, preferably something that...
Writing Feedbackkenziii - Aug 14, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 15, 2009
|Essay about important characteristics of a co-worker.
Writing Feedbackarsdtbk - Aug 13, 2009 / arsdtbk - Aug 14, 2009
|"Running away"; "I'm sorry for all that is happening, but..." - rate my essay
7 - You need to clarify much more. The entire work is interesting but makes very little sense and threatens to...
Writing Feedbackkennethfatty - Jul 29, 2009 / kenziii - Aug 14, 2009
|Our lives abound with examples of the importance of remaining creative
Writing FeedbackDiddy - Aug 3, 2009 / kenziii - Aug 14, 2009
|"the personal consumption of butter" - IELTS task 1 Homework 1
2 - This graph shows the personal consumption (in grams) of butter, margarine and low-fat or reduced-fat spreads per week [omit...
Writing FeedbackAnne25 - Aug 12, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 12, 2009
|Gay Marriage: Is It Right?
13 - Note: I deleted John6503's comment to which Llamapoop123 is responding, because it ran afoul of our guidelines prohibiting postings...
Writing Feedbackladiired3 - Aug 4, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 12, 2009
|"Goods And Service Tax At All India Level"- how 2 improve this article
Writing Feedbackescritor - Aug 10, 2009 / escritor - Aug 12, 2009
|"About a time when you thought an experience would take place in certain way"
3 - This is essay drags on a little. The lesson learned not really something that would effect your character or...
Writing Feedbackpresario32 - Aug 11, 2009 / Llamapoop123 - Aug 11, 2009
|"It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value"
Writing Feedbackmathsam - Aug 10, 2009 / Llamapoop123 - Aug 10, 2009
|Results of publicly funded scientific studies for free -help for GRE issue essay
Writing FeedbackUlribe - Aug 10, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 10, 2009
|Personal Essay - Travels; I have inherited my mother's wanderlust
4 - I love experiencing the magic and draw of various cultures, each with their own flavor and distinctions which seizes...
Writing Feedbacksarahstu - Aug 9, 2009 / Liebe - Aug 10, 2009
|Summary-Response Essay - Celebrating Nerdiness by Tom rogers
5 - Your summary is okay. Your thesis should probably include a summary of the reasons why you agree with...
Writing Feedbackkingdomcome - Aug 2, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 9, 2009
|"hard work leads you to success in your life" - need help in correcting my essay
5 - Your logic here isn't very tight. Overwhelming evidence suggests that hard work is in fact the key to...
Writing Feedbackpelaru - Aug 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 9, 2009
Writing FeedbackFearlessDare - Aug 2, 2009 / FearlessDare - Aug 8, 2009
|Classification and Divison Essay on different "sources of energy."
6 - Natural fossil fuels, yes. Biofuels are universally considered renewable, as you point out. So, if petroleum becomes a biofuel...
Writing FeedbackReborn - Aug 3, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 8, 2009
|Causes and Solutions for increasing traffic congestion
6 - I'm sorry, but we cannot tell you what your score might be as we are not trained IELTS scorers....
Writing Feedbackrosamond00 - Jul 30, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 7, 2009
|For Eng 121 class: Use of critical thinking using Mary Postgate and Yellow Wall
Writing Feedbackbiggestv - Aug 3, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 7, 2009
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