|Writing Feedback [23,024] - page 362 of 384|
|Looking for a review of My Philosophy Paper
12 - I agree with that advice in general. Good writers say what they have to say rather than telling...
Writing FeedbackAli MacLennan - Aug 2, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 7, 2009
|Getting up early and starting day's work in the morning should always be preferred by people
4 - You need to attend to basics. For example, you must place a space after punctuation marks, as I have...
Writing Feedbackmansten - Aug 7, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 7, 2009
|Originality and thinking - GRE Issue No:2.
Writing Feedbackdesigningsally - Aug 1, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 7, 2009
|Archie isn't just a typical guy I've encountered in my life! - Unforgettable person
Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Aug 1, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 6, 2009
|Dangerous sports and activities - for fun, money, or for nothing
11 - It's not so much that it sounds weird as that nobody knows it. This is a dictionary word that...
Writing Feedbacksugarzhi - Aug 3, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 6, 2009
|Saving money for future is more useful than spending on travel.
2 - Is that true? How do you know? Students often start essays with an assertion that whatever they are...
Writing Feedbackgh52km42 - Aug 5, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 6, 2009
|Essay on Urbanisation
2 - For what purpose did you write this essay? I see you've got it posted under undergraduate admissions essays, but...
Writing Feedbackkillerwind - Aug 5, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 5, 2009
|Colleges for gain knowledge, new experience & prepare for future career - TOEFL
11 - Indeed. And, in literature as opposed to workaday prose, ornate sentences are still acceptable. (David Foster Wallace, anyone?)...
Writing Feedbackstardust - Jul 31, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 5, 2009
|To be elected as the country's president gives prestige and honor.
Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Aug 4, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 5, 2009
|Cbest - Back to Basics
2 - One strength of this essay is your use of supporting evidence. However, you will need to work on your...
Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Aug 5, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 5, 2009
|'Harmful effects on our environment' - Benefits and Drawbacks of Urbanisation
10 - Thank you Notoman, Sean, it definitely quenched my curiousity^^ I'll practice hard, and thanks for the website !!...
Writing FeedbackHarryK - Aug 2, 2009 / HarryK - Aug 4, 2009
|Bringing emotion - television has destroyed communication among close people?
3 - Overall, quite good just little things i noticed. "According to the survey" -I think it would sound...
Writing Feedbackmomotou007 - Jul 30, 2009 / et_350 - Aug 4, 2009
|"A government's role" - academic writing test IELTS to be correct
8 - You should always say what you are going to talk about in your introduction. That's what makes it...
Writing FeedbackPinklemon - Jul 20, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 4, 2009
|"Who made history"--A difficult GRE Issue topic
9 - Private Joseph Martin kept a diary during the Revolutionary War. His detailed writings prove to be an invaluable...
Writing Feedbackmathsam - Jul 31, 2009 / Notoman - Aug 3, 2009
|I closed my eyes and started the chanting!; The moment of the Lords.
Writing Feedbackmbjaya999 - Jul 31, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 3, 2009
|Not eveything that is learned is contained in the books
20 - Very practical of you to give yourself another month. But, since your problem, in particular, has been thinking of...
Writing Feedbackorlando - Jul 20, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 3, 2009
|If people want to have a good future they should have a careful plan
2 - I understand the reason for the meditation on religion with which you preface this essay, but I feel that...
Writing Feedbacktimmytos - Aug 3, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 3, 2009
|Essay (On) Love
7 - This is a difficult topic to deal with. Our ability to describe any emotion is very, very limited. We...
Writing FeedbackOnd - Jul 30, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 3, 2009
|The current technological innovation (the first writting in this web)
4 - Sean's advise is very sound. Follow it. Here's my advice: Don't use a translation devise when searching for the...
Writing Feedbackmoula_moula - Aug 1, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 2, 2009
|The benefits of technology versus the costs
Writing FeedbackJanie Tine - Jul 23, 2009 / Janie Tine - Aug 2, 2009
|Vimy Ridge,Day of Deliverance,Constitution Act;3 Defining Moments- Canadian History
4 - Okay, I suppose the analogy itself isn't so bad. But mostly, the intro consists of general statements that don't...
Writing Feedbackalicia15 - Jul 27, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 1, 2009
|Food Stands Vs Eating at Home = Convenience Vs Quality
8 - there are more and more people now choosechoosing food stands or restaurants instead of home when having a meal....
Writing Feedbackfearistheenemy - Jul 22, 2009 / ruonan59 - Aug 1, 2009
|The intellectual benefits of attending a university - advice my second GRE issue
17 - Thank you, Noto. I can understand the difference between great discoveries and the greatest discoveries. Your revision of the...
Writing Feedbackmathsam - Jul 27, 2009 / mathsam - Aug 1, 2009
|Ielts essay: living and studying overseas
Writing Feedbackorlando - Jul 29, 2009 / orlando - Aug 1, 2009
|My best friend in elementary school; Friendship forever
Writing FeedbackLibra - Jul 23, 2009 / designingsally - Aug 1, 2009
|Essay on A Prayer for Owen Meany
Writing FeedbackTottenham125 - Jul 31, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 1, 2009
|Social Work Theory, Skills and Methods Assignment
6 - Post the essay you submitted originally, and the comments you got back on it. That way we can give...
Writing Feedbackelzbietabielec - Jun 21, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 30, 2009
|Correct and rate my essay essay. Its on laws being rigid or flexible
Writing Feedbackdesigningsally - Jul 30, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 30, 2009
|How my gay father, family and community have shaped who i am today - uc prompt
Writing Feedbackx country 001 - Jul 22, 2009 / Janie Tine - Jul 29, 2009
|True Friendship Essay (living without friends)
12 - I think your revised essay is quite good. However, I am really confused with this. You said,"As we grow...
Writing FeedbackAlexbig - Jun 29, 2009 / Janie Tine - Jul 29, 2009
|[TOEFL] Global events
7 - "Nuclear" is an adjective. "Money crisis" ought to be "monetary crisis." Sometimes people do use a noun as...
Writing Feedbackjohn6503 - Jul 28, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 29, 2009
|[TOEFL] Being creative rather than planning.
Writing Feedbackjohn6503 - Jul 27, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 29, 2009
|GRE essay: Sadness and happiness
8 - This sort of essay perhaps calls out for a discussion of the principle underlying the prompt. The prompt is...
Writing Feedbacksoarer - Jul 22, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 29, 2009
|Illegal Aliens and Their Quest to Stay in the United States
3 - You also need to set up some background in your intro. So, for instance, why not just grant everyone...
Writing Feedbackswatson - Jul 28, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 29, 2009
|Reasons why people listen to music
7 - I would recommend you to give specific genre of music that people would listen to relieve their stress...
Writing Feedbackfearistheenemy - Jul 23, 2009 / john6503 - Jul 28, 2009
|Work alone or in groups
10 - Oh I didn't read the question thoroughly, I thought it was asking whether you agree or not, which mostly...
Writing Feedbackfearistheenemy - Jul 21, 2009 / john6503 - Jul 27, 2009
|Story that affected me most - my TOEFL essay
5 - Your grammar structure and sentencing skills look really professional considering that English isn't your first language. However, for TOEFL,...
Writing Feedbackfearistheenemy - Jul 17, 2009 / john6503 - Jul 27, 2009
|First Essay: How to Pick the Right Fights
4 - Your essay suffers from some ambiguity about what you mean by "fights." The title suggests that are you are...
Writing FeedbackTamzus - Jul 25, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 26, 2009
|"working outside the academic world" - Advice for my GRE issue
2 - One of the strengths of this essay is its nuance. Your distinction between academic fields and the specific examples...
Writing Feedbackmathsam - Jul 25, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 26, 2009
|The New Bus Driver
7 - You can find a fairly comprehensive list of racial epithets here: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_ethnic_slurs Several of the terms listed are...
Writing Feedbackkennethfatty - Jul 25, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 26, 2009
|TOEFL---"the young people should plan or organize."
3 - Can you imagine that a house is built without a plan or a house plan only contains a rendering...
Writing Feedbackphebe - Jul 22, 2009 / tiantian12 - Jul 25, 2009
|web designers use the techniques of human psychology and brain structure...
Writing Feedbackmbjaya999 - Jul 23, 2009 / mbjaya999 - Jul 24, 2009
|Good Boss, Bad Boss: Compare/Contrast Essay
27 - Oh, yes. People think that online courses will be easier but, because so much of communication occurs through...
Writing Feedbackbreeny - Jul 11, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 24, 2009
|workaholic; Spending money on taking vacation, travelling is better than saving
Writing Feedbackjohn6503 - Jul 23, 2009 / trangquynh - Jul 23, 2009
|graduation grieves me
3 - I find the choppy sentences and awkward phrasings add up to a kind of poetry. But, unfortunately, prose is...
Writing FeedbackLibra - Jul 22, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 22, 2009
|Least Favorite Place Essay
Writing Feedbackshamey - Jul 18, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 22, 2009
|[TOEFL] Observing or studying animals teaches us a lot about human nature
Writing Feedbackjohn6503 - Jul 21, 2009 / john6503 - Jul 21, 2009
|CBEST Essay - Why I enter education field?
4 - "Then came an opportunity to volunteer at a daycare program for children with autism. I grabbed both opportunities, working...
Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Jul 20, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 21, 2009
|Credit cards's advantages
Writing Feedbackonur - Jul 17, 2009 / john6503 - Jul 21, 2009
|CBEST-writing: an unforgettable person; 'my grandfather always wore his black glass'
5 - "In our life, we may encounter different kinds of people and some of them have a positive or a...
Writing FeedbackEllen Wang - Jul 18, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 20, 2009
|"Separate classrooms for male and female students" - practice ACT Essay
4 - And given how far ahead of boys girls tend to be academically, as reflected in university admission rates, many...
Writing FeedbackLukeLC23 - Jul 17, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 19, 2009
|Advertisements affects on consumer goods - ielts preparing
15 - Thank you for your explanations! This word makes me so miserable. Like Orlando, I will be more cautious when...
Writing Feedbackorlando - Jul 17, 2009 / trangquynh - Jul 19, 2009
|The generation gap + Prevention vs Cure - help with these topics
Writing FeedbackEve - Jul 17, 2009 / Eve - Jul 18, 2009
|Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear 2
42 - The last two are elements of style that you can fix fairly easily by good proofreading. The first one...
Writing Feedbackyonman - Jul 9, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 18, 2009
|CBEST: The Age of Invention
Writing Feedbackbubuvio - Jul 14, 2009 / bubuvio - Jul 18, 2009
|General Ielts: Governments should encourage employers to choose young people?
7 - In your last paragraph, i prefer "In conclusion, ..." instead of "For these reasons...". Reason is, it is more...
Writing Feedbackborzou27 - Jul 13, 2009 / boonwah - Jul 18, 2009
|Narrative Essay (Warning: slightly depressing)!
Writing Feedbackdancer09 - Jul 15, 2009 / Liebe - Jul 18, 2009
|Mythology - Timeless Questions - Timeless Answers
3 - Sean is right. You've got some good insights but the essay as a whole is incoherent due to lack...
Writing FeedbackNouget - Jul 17, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 18, 2009
|health and personal fitness, interview three people and back ur thesis up!
3 - Indeed. You cannot say that the amount of responsibility alone determines, or is even the main determinant, in how...
Writing Feedbackhollyn91 - Jul 15, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 18, 2009
|I believe that police protection and good schools are the main factors to create an ideal community
19 - You're doing everything right. Just keep at it and you will see improvement. I am already seeing improvement in...
Writing Feedbackorlando - Jul 12, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 16, 2009
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