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|We, young people, should plan and organize as the modern life is more complex.
3 - Your essay is excellent! However, I think if there is a conclusion in each paragraph, it will be better....
Writing Feedbackmocixuan - Oct 13, 2009 / lyqinyi - Oct 16, 2009
|Toefl iBT, integrated task: Invasive plants are a growing problem.
3 - Hi Jeannie, This is a Toefl iBT integrated writing task. After reading a passage & listening a lecture,...
Writing Feedbacktuanlnc - Oct 15, 2009 / tuanlnc - Oct 15, 2009
|"The most delicious meal I have ever eaten..." - Descriptive Essay
3 - This is called a dangling modifier. It implies that your girlfriend was coming home from work, because that...
Writing FeedbackHugcr84001 - Oct 14, 2009 / EF_Stephen - Oct 15, 2009
|Is it a good thing to have children employed with paid jobs?
4 - the consciousness of earning money seriously by their own effort to cover their education tuitions and personal expenses...
Writing Feedbackmaybien_bk - Oct 13, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Oct 15, 2009
|TOEFL College education is one of the significant sources of increased knowledge
3 - Thank you. i really appreciate. i will redo it as soon as possible. besides, what else do you think...
Writing Feedbackfuhuanluck - Oct 15, 2009 / fuhuanluck - Oct 15, 2009
|Toefl Essay Many parts of the world are losing important natural resources
Writing FeedbackKeng - Oct 13, 2009 / tuanlnc - Oct 15, 2009
|learning language in your own country or the country it is spoken.
2 - You write very clearly, and with good grammar. I think there is an error in that first sentence, though....
Writing Feedbackzhigoolet - Oct 12, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2009
|There are lots of unfairness between male and female over the past centuries.
2 - Verb tense and number agreement are giving you some difficulty: There are lots of unfair events that occur...
Writing Feedbackdltn88 - Oct 12, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2009
|government should spend as much money as possible on developing technology
3 - Your have some grammar errors in this essay, but I would do some revision before I worried about that....
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 13, 2009 / mikesperry79 - Oct 14, 2009
|"City vs. Countryside" - English class essay
4 - Your essay is based on your personal experience. It's good however the overuse of these experiences makes your essay...
Writing Feedbackkokujampo - Oct 13, 2009 / maybien_bk - Oct 13, 2009
|cause of use the internet and solutions
3 - thanks mocixuan so much, your advices are very useful, thanks so much again, how do y think about this...
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 13, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Oct 13, 2009
|Toefl essay Which is more important for success ------
Writing FeedbackKeng - Oct 12, 2009 / trevgolfer - Oct 13, 2009
|Toefl Independ Essay : where to learn a new language.
3 - Although there are some advantages to of learning a foreign language in its original country, I firmly believe that...
Writing FeedbackZamanian - Oct 13, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Oct 13, 2009
|using computer influence on young children
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 12, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Oct 13, 2009
|First Philosophy Essay; Pascal's Wager and the Advent of Infinite Future Gods
8 - Also, you could argue that an absolutely perfect being wouldn't inflict harm on another sentient being or allow...
Writing Feedbackaroundtheworld - Oct 11, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 13, 2009
|Understand Our Heritage - critical essay on Alice Walker's "Everyday Use"
Writing FeedbackJasonB - Oct 12, 2009 / JasonB - Oct 13, 2009
|Ielts---whether the pros of multi-cultured societies are more than the cons
5 - The first thing I notice is that the vocabulary is way beyond you. You don't use these words in...
Writing Feedbackwangzhuo029 - Oct 12, 2009 / EF_Stephen - Oct 12, 2009
|Let's go to Mui Ne - Phan Thiet
4 - I think you misunderstand. That was a rhetorical question. Vietnam is in fact an S-shaped country. It is not...
Writing Feedbackheromanmax - Oct 10, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 12, 2009
|"American Idiot" - I feel like my words just fail to do it with justice; Album review
NEW - The task is relatively simple: pick a rock/pop/country album that you love (you know, one of those albums that...
Writing Feedbackma201314 - Oct 11, 2009 / — -
|Sports professionals are genius like others professional & need to be paid well
4 - What I meant to say was that salary is not decided by the intrinsic value of a job. Professional...
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 11, 2009 / Zoe - Oct 11, 2009
|increase in sale reflect the power of advertisement not for real need
3 - I'm not familiar with IELTS. I've read your other essay about professional athletes earning too much money and it...
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 11, 2009 / Zoe - Oct 11, 2009
|Friction Between Roommates Draft
4 - Hi quiksilverq, I think your essay presents your points very well! But I don't know if adding...
Writing Feedbackquiksilverq - Oct 10, 2009 / aroundtheworld - Oct 11, 2009
|Free Art; positive artistic activities should always be encouraged
6 - Technically, if you limit art in any way, it isn't unlimited. This is a difficult argument. It is...
Writing Feedbackvivien_wang - Oct 10, 2009 / EF_Stephen - Oct 11, 2009
|It is the sport, the multiculturalism; What Australia Means To Me
Writing Feedbackjgv115 - Oct 9, 2009 / jgv115 - Oct 11, 2009
|in which ways, computer is a hindrance
3 - dear EF_Stephen, i was not comfortable with this essay. in this essay, i have to answer : in which...
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 10, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Oct 11, 2009
|"Back In the Game" - essay on finding forrester
Writing Feedbackdens420 - Oct 7, 2009 / dens420 - Oct 10, 2009
|students should take a year between school and Univer for working, traveling
3 - many thanks to you, EF_Kevin. to be honest, i cannot decided whether taking a breaking between high school and...
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 9, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Oct 9, 2009
|GRE essay on " the way people dress, look and act reveals their attitudes"
6 - You're welcome. :-) Of course anything you might read would help. Any news magazines would be good, like...
Writing Feedbackpoorna - Oct 9, 2009 / EF_Stephen - Oct 9, 2009
4 - This was just an expository essay topic from the GCE past paper of English language, So I decided to...
Writing Feedbackhera246 - Oct 9, 2009 / hera246 - Oct 9, 2009
|Essay about young people and economic crisis
2 - Nice, but you have a few grammar errors. I assume, based on your comments to others, that this...
Writing Feedbackghaghayz - Oct 9, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 9, 2009
|globalization and civil-military relations
3 - Thank you stephen for these advices, i'll try to apply them below: Relationship between military and civil has...
Writing Feedbacknacer4444 - Oct 8, 2009 / nacer4444 - Oct 9, 2009
|The lack educational programs in UAE
Writing Feedbacksada7 - Oct 7, 2009 / sada7 - Oct 8, 2009
|The tell tale heart by A. Poe - story comment
5 - Ok. Got it. The first third of the first page is your introduction. Talk about how people sometimes...
Writing Feedbacklmwilson - Oct 7, 2009 / EF_Stephen - Oct 8, 2009
|There two main kinds of justice in our life; Justice (English 1)
4 - You might also want to examine the definition of justice in a bit more detail in your introduction, too,...
Writing Feedbacktuvshe - Oct 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 8, 2009
|Competitive sports have no place in the school curriculum. You agree or disagree
2 - What, you mean no one could point out that many sports are quite dangerous and can routinely result...
Writing Feedbacklotus - Oct 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 8, 2009
|Summary Paper and reflection on "Superman and me" story
3 - Hey thanks a lot, I understand what you are saying, My transitions do need to be more clearly. I...
Writing FeedbackJoeyson - Oct 7, 2009 / Joeyson - Oct 7, 2009
|Avantages of watching TV outweight its disadvantages; IInfluence of watching TV
7 - dear EF_Stephen [Moderator]! according to a reading passage in reading ielts i read. 100% children at the age of...
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 5, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Oct 7, 2009
|Traveling outside a large tour group can result in a richer and more genuine experience
Writing Feedbackbifa2002 - Oct 5, 2009 / bifa2002 - Oct 7, 2009
|Persuasive Essay on Oedipus Rex: Oedipus's guilty for the tragic events that happen to him
Writing Feedbackbwenner - Oct 6, 2009 / aznpoo - Oct 6, 2009
|how to tie back to thesis in formal essay?
2 - Hmmmm . . . notice your account has been suspended. I'm guessing you weren't giving useful feedback on other...
Writing Feedbackkhzul - Oct 5, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 6, 2009
|Toefl; What I would change in my hometown? Improve transportation system
4 - Hi, i am preparing for toefl. I think you can try to use more transitional world. Just a suggestion....
Writing Feedbackm_razavi - Oct 3, 2009 / tiantianwenzi - Oct 6, 2009
|"being forced to defend an idea" - my GRE essay
2 - First of all, this is not an undergraduate admissions essay. Second, it is very weak for a GRE essay....
Writing Feedbackmina_sedaghatir - Oct 5, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 6, 2009
|"Diploma holders and the lack of opportunities in Saudi Arabia"
2 - Hi, Your essay states some main points. Repeating them makes your essay too long & not well-organized. Also,...
Writing Feedbackbigb82 - Oct 6, 2009 / tuanlnc - Oct 6, 2009
|Parents are best teachers. They follow us and help us to develop our talent.
5 - Thanks Thinh, In the Princeton Review book, the author advices that we should use template for the essay,...
Writing Feedbacktuanlnc - Oct 5, 2009 / tuanlnc - Oct 6, 2009
|'Young people these days are less interested in studying than in earning money'
3 - Thankyou....I will be posting other essays as well...very soon and I would like to have your comments.......
Writing Feedbackhera246 - Oct 5, 2009 / hera246 - Oct 6, 2009
|Satirical Essay (help with the humorous additions)
2 - This isn't satirical so much as vaguely bigoted. Part of your problem is that you are writing about illegal...
Writing Feedbackganz91 - Oct 5, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 5, 2009
|Advertisements makes people selfish and greedy for more and more goods
5 - Using more specific language would help, as vague language combines with grammatical difficulties to make sentences dull and difficult...
Writing Feedbackessay0405 - Oct 4, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 5, 2009
|causes and solutions for reducing the gap beween rich and poor nations
5 - hi tuan, i am not sure about that phrase. some people have talked to me like that; however, i...
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 4, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Oct 5, 2009
|It is more important to reserve land for human beings than for endangered animal
Writing Feedbackruanxiaohang - Oct 4, 2009 / ruanxiaohang - Oct 5, 2009
|Psychiatrist are doctors that deals with prevention, diagnosis, and treatment of mental disorders
2 - You need to break what is now your second paragraph into several shorter paragraphs. What is now your final...
Writing Feedbackmaking101 - Oct 4, 2009 / EF_Simone - Oct 4, 2009
|Students should not get marriage while they are still studing
Writing Feedbackkahlan - Oct 3, 2009 / kahlan - Oct 4, 2009
|talent is a natural gift or from practice
3 - thanks so much EF_Sean. i know that in this essay, i wrote not well. it is a pretty difficult....
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 2, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Oct 4, 2009
|Not only should we search for a high grade, but also a future of further education.
Writing Feedbackruanxiaohang - Oct 3, 2009 / verily - Oct 4, 2009
|Toefl iBT writing - Integrated task: Global warming
Writing Feedbacktuanlnc - Sep 30, 2009 / kristinbrianne - Oct 3, 2009
|toefl-Live performance or TV, which is more enjoyable; 'annoying advertisements'
3 - Sean, thank you so much for your advice. I think i understand what you mean. This is my revised...
Writing Feedbacktiantianwenzi - Oct 2, 2009 / tiantianwenzi - Oct 3, 2009
|Is it more important to spend more time working than being with family?
3 - Thanks...
Writing Feedbackruanxiaohang - Oct 3, 2009 / ruanxiaohang - Oct 3, 2009
|College or univeristy's benefits
8 - hi, in the next month, i have to take ielts exam. however, i am not really confident for writing...
Writing Feedbacktuanlnc - Sep 30, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Oct 3, 2009
|toefl--making decision by ourselves
Writing Feedbackmocixuan - Oct 2, 2009 / mocixuan - Oct 2, 2009
|Critique of woman in documentary
2 - Your first paragraph consists entirely of sentence fragments. I'm assuming that your professor asked you to write it that...
Writing Feedbackshahindian2009 - Oct 1, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 2, 2009
|"My future job" - revise an essay; I allways want to be a designer
5 - Also, there is no excuse for making really obvious spelling mistakes. Run your work through a spellchecker, which will...
Writing FeedbackKorh - Sep 28, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 2, 2009
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