|Writing Feedback [22,729] - page 363 of 379|
|Shopping is a necessity in our life
5 - What exactly is the point of your essay? You say you like shopping, but you also say shopping can...
Writing Feedbackjurgita - Mar 4, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 4, 2009
|Castin Characters #1: Jim
Writing Feedbacknewsha31 - Mar 2, 2009 / newsha31 - Mar 4, 2009
|Lit Review (Borderline Personality Disorder)
3 - Your main problem is that, if BPD is rooted in genetic and biological factors, then it is difficult to...
Writing FeedbackChicitaGatita - Feb 27, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 4, 2009
|Reading - My favorite subject essay
6 - Kevin's advice is great. That would turn the essay into an essay on your favorite books, which, if you...
Writing Feedbackmystery200 - Mar 3, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 4, 2009
|Jame Joyce's Portrait
11 - If this is supposed to be a literary essay, you have some more work to do. The essay doesn't...
Writing FeedbackNecrovex - Mar 3, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 4, 2009
|A creation of the mind - "Imagination" essay
7 - You might want to start by defining what you mean by imagination, then discuss how it both contrasts with...
Writing Feedbackbugsy444 - Feb 27, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 4, 2009
|Write a short story in which the central character is a rebellious teenager
Writing Feedback_cartwheel_ - Feb 28, 2009 / _cartwheel_ - Mar 4, 2009
|"Green Jeans" / "The love of my life" / "Fathers" - rhetorical essays (finals)
9 - No, it's about being able to identify with a certain disposition or sequence of thoughts. It's about capturing a...
Writing Feedbackjoey2dawn - Feb 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 1, 2009
|Short Story (heart still aches for Darren)
6 - This is a wonderfully written narrative essay. You have a great style and sense of important details. However, I...
Writing Feedback_cartwheel_ - Feb 27, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 1, 2009
|Essay on equal gender in university
4 - I don't know how hight the standards are for IELTS, but this is looking very good. Implement Sean's changes,...
Writing Feedbackpupi - Feb 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 28, 2009
|When I am in uncertainty I feel my emotions at their strongest
5 - You are second guessing this eassay? I loved it. I could visualize everything happening as I read. Slap on...
Writing Feedbackfitz1901 - Feb 26, 2009 / GHouse - Feb 27, 2009
|Reaction paper (reaction to the hotel we just visited)
3 - Actually, you can use "because" to begin a sentence, as long as it is used to begin a dependent...
Writing Feedbackeng1 - Feb 25, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 26, 2009
|FIRST NARRATIVE ESSAY (The Miserable Girl)
Writing FeedbackYassin - Feb 22, 2009 / Yassin - Feb 25, 2009
|motherhood (Motherhood is Amazing)
3 - I believe Being a mother is a most extraordinary gift, yet it brings challenges that ca be difficult to...
Writing Feedbackpurfec8gel - Feb 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 24, 2009
|Not Mr. Towers, he and his family watched TV; Narrative Essay
8 - Adding dialogue would also be a great way to add more conflict. Perhaps at the beginning of your essay,...
Writing FeedbackCTowers - Feb 17, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 24, 2009
|People are Living Longer (causes of this phenomenon)
3 - The list can be interminably long but here are some of the most important ones: Discovery of red blood...
Writing Feedbackoto - Feb 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 22, 2009
|Math is Crucial for Society
6 - The title suggestion isn't bad. Perhaps you could try "Let my experience of the world be my best source...
Writing Feedbackligfsing - Feb 22, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 22, 2009
|Midsummer Night's Dream Character Essays
5 - Better. Now, take all of the references you make to specific passages [Act 2 scene I line 30-35 ,...
Writing Feedbackicemaster2340 - Feb 21, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 22, 2009
|Yet another essay on television...
6 - This is very good, you have alot of talent. I wish my teacher let me write first-person, or even...
Writing Feedbackakern - Feb 15, 2009 / drmemo - Feb 20, 2009
|Help rewriting Lead paragraph and Conclusion - Computer History Paper
12 - History is definite? Really? You can't find any example of disagreements among historians on any topic whatsoever? Lol! Everything...
Writing Feedbacktycheongster - Feb 9, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 19, 2009
|Experiencing a rescue just in time
Writing Feedbackceberus - Feb 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 19, 2009
|Analysis of an Art Piece, Creativity of Re-Use essay
3 - Hey now, I remember that formal analysis involves a specific set of instructions, probably given by your teacher. Here...
Writing FeedbackSomeone18 - Feb 18, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 19, 2009
|Critic my "Education" essay
3 - It can be used to advance oneself to a successful career; many college students are doing just that, but...
Writing Feedbackbluek7 - Feb 18, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 19, 2009
|How many money was spend on different forms of entertainment over a five - year period.
Writing Feedbackpamfan0810 - Feb 17, 2009 / pamfan0810 - Feb 19, 2009
|wording problems in a paragraph
6 - I originally meant to write "not get what I want," and have edited my original post to reflect that....
Writing FeedbackNoob in writing - Feb 17, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 18, 2009
|"Where is my Desktop screen?"
Writing Feedbackjameslihaochi - Feb 14, 2009 / melat - Feb 18, 2009
|We should discuss the balance of the life quality and the powerful tourism
Writing Feedbackpamfan0810 - Feb 15, 2009 / pamfan0810 - Feb 17, 2009
|Essay: Who is more important in the family? Mother or Father?
Writing Feedbackceberus - Feb 11, 2009 / GHouse - Feb 17, 2009
|English Class -- persuasive essay -- School Uniforms
3 - Hey, now! You can have an upbeat attitude while wearing your soccer uniform,or any other uniform associated with...
Writing Feedbackdrasagon - Feb 16, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 17, 2009
|Thesis Statement About Things I Like
Writing FeedbackGHouse - Feb 16, 2009 / arbennett - Feb 17, 2009
|Essay On Comparisons of Trials and Their Respective Jury Proceedings
Writing FeedbackSeanMasih - Feb 12, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 17, 2009
|Honours Social Work (privilege, power)
5 - I will discuss the P.C.S levels of power drawn on by Foucault's interpretation of power together with an understanding......
Writing Feedbacknaomi - Feb 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 16, 2009
|"I was running" essay. Grammar and punctuation help.
Writing Feedbacknewsha31 - Feb 11, 2009 / newsha31 - Feb 15, 2009
|Geo Project - Vehicles in the Lower Mainland
3 - Hi Pedro, The conclusion should be tell how this all adds up. After you researched the work that...
Writing Feedbackvipao - Feb 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 15, 2009
|PERSONAL ESSAY what books and reading mean to me
5 - Knowing I will soon enter into the life of a University student -- if I get accepted, that is...
Writing Feedbackhannahkim91 - Feb 12, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 13, 2009
|Living a simple but meaningful life is a lifestyle which you must choose.
7 - Thank you. I did make many revisons and changed the thesis around. I restrcured the essay and narrowed my...
Writing Feedbackjasonmuraira - Feb 10, 2009 / jasonmuraira - Feb 12, 2009
|The first time i crossed the road by myself
Writing Feedbacknewsha31 - Feb 11, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 12, 2009
|Essay on describing a scene in my life (that last time i saw my friends)
7 - For the hundredth time on that night my hand slipped down into my purse;... My heart calmed, although...
Writing Feedbacknewsha31 - Feb 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 12, 2009
|Essay on empty space; I live a fast paced life
6 - If I went outside of my room, their laid the television... change to: there laid the television... ...
Writing Feedbackfitz1901 - Jan 29, 2009 / SeanMasih - Feb 12, 2009
|Essay: A Crab in the Sand
5 - I loved this essay. You do a fantastic job of letting the reader know what exactly was going on....
Writing FeedbackJoey11235 - Feb 11, 2009 / SeanMasih - Feb 12, 2009
|Short Essay on Modern day televison watching.
5 - YES! That is a great way to explain it: Find the way your points are interconnected, and the transitions,...
Writing Feedbackakern - Feb 9, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 10, 2009
|All About Me, A COMPILATION OF MY THOUGHTS
Writing FeedbackSeanMasih - Feb 9, 2009 / SeanMasih - Feb 10, 2009
|If criminals have punishments that are not severe enough, it may encourage people to commit crimes
7 - hi thanks a lot...I rewrite this...it might be closer my opinion I find out my logic sometimes very strange...
Writing Feedbackpamfan0810 - Feb 6, 2009 / pamfan0810 - Feb 10, 2009
|Essay on theories as to why one might be service orientated and others not.
2 - You might want to discuss what you mean by service-oriented a bit more. For instance, would you consider someone...
Writing Feedbackjenfkb - Feb 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 10, 2009
|Kouzes and Posner's practices within a leadership event.
3 - The essay seems on-topic to me. If the "five main practices" you mention in the intro have sub-steps, as...
Writing Feedbackharperme - Feb 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 10, 2009
|Supposedly we, young people, are no longer interested in religion, and thus losing belief in God.
5 - To stay on topic, you might want to deal with the issue of belief. People who really believe in...
Writing Feedbackceberus - Feb 9, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 10, 2009
|"The Great Gatsby is seen in two ways" - Help with Essay Writing -
10 - Hello! If someone pastes material from other websites, it causes problems for us and can possibly lead to...
Writing Feedbacksara213 - Oct 9, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Feb 9, 2009
|Education Through My Eyes
Writing Feedbackmllaury - Feb 3, 2009 / mllaury - Feb 9, 2009
|Domestic Abuse (persuasive essay)
3 - Wow, Sean gives really excellent feedback. To me, and perhaps to other readers, this is a valuable piece of...
Writing FeedbackTiffiny9880 - Feb 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 6, 2009
|How does Singapore compete with emerging markets in attracting FDI
2 - Singapore has an open and export-oriented economy It is unwise to plan FDI strategy without taking trade into...
Writing Feedbackultraman365 - Feb 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 5, 2009
|TOEFL: 'the things are simple' - Childhood is the happiest time of people's life
5 - Stylistically, you might also want to consider combining some of your sentences so that you have a few longer...
Writing Feedbackpope4e - Feb 3, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 4, 2009
|Grammar check for AOI paper (political struggles in history)
3 - Overall a good job. Some minor fixes, in addition to Kevin's: "In addition to that I have traveled...
Writing FeedbackTaka014 - Feb 3, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 3, 2009
|Teachers should encourage their students to question everything - essay
Writing Feedbackdragon - Feb 2, 2009 / dragon - Feb 3, 2009
|Essay About Malcolm X
3 - After the collection of a great number of words, he had no problem understanding books, and thus he began...
Writing Feedbackmingbaau - Feb 1, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 2, 2009
|USC Cinematic Arts Essay (Emotionally Intense Moment)
Writing FeedbackZagayer - Jan 29, 2009 / Zagayer - Jan 31, 2009
|College Dropout Rates - vause & Effect Essay in 3rd person, need direction
5 - ""She had spent countless hours filling out admissions and scholarship applications, talked about all the details of campus and...
Writing FeedbackDenise - Jan 30, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 31, 2009
|Introductory Paragraph: Mary Shelley and Frankenstein
6 - I would suggest starting with something more specific, instead of a general statement about personal triumphs and tragedy. Of...
Writing FeedbackInnocuity - Jan 28, 2009 / Zagayer - Jan 29, 2009
|Essay on different customs between the US and Korea
3 - Sean is right, this is a list of cultural differences. I know you aren't finished with it, but what...
Writing FeedbackDayna - Jan 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 27, 2009
|Feedback on the "Sound and the Fury" Passage analysis
6 - Oh, thanks for that. Yes i tried to make the sentence introduce the subject of having Dilsey being mislead...
Writing Feedbackjvmoose - Jan 27, 2009 / jvmoose - Jan 27, 2009
|"Living Through Death" - Jimmy; personal essay
Writing Feedbackcleanconscience - Jan 26, 2009 / cleanconscience - Jan 27, 2009
|Home / Writing Feedback|