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|solution for new students to get on new school
3 - thank EF_Simone so much!i try to make better comment for others and avoid these mistakes in my essays. i...
Writing Feedbackkhoctham - Sep 20, 2009 / khoctham - Sep 20, 2009
|Descriptive Essay - A media event or a once in a lifetime event
8 - you can use methaphors, similes, analogies to help show and not just say things that describe emotions or feelings...
Writing FeedbackJSteinberger - Sep 20, 2009 / neuromancer - Sep 20, 2009
|toefl -- needed land / protecting environment
5 - I can't help but notice that many of your comments on other people's threads have been a bit brief...
Writing FeedbackJin - Sep 19, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 20, 2009
|reformation in education good or not? why?
2 - Certainly. But you must do your part too. I notice that you have posted two essays for feedback,...
Writing Feedbackkhoctham - Sep 20, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 20, 2009
|'I would like to live in a big city' - For Toefl writting - need a score
Writing Feedbackfishbaby - Sep 17, 2009 / khoctham - Sep 20, 2009
|'Korean student died'; The advantage and disadvantage of the Internet
2 - In your conclusion, you list recommendations related to only two of your points. If you're going to list recommendations,...
Writing Feedbackessay0405 - Sep 20, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 20, 2009
|toefl -- success and luck
Writing FeedbackJin - Sep 18, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Sep 20, 2009
|A meal is not only the original resource for daily energy and health but also the spirit feast
Writing FeedbackJin - Sep 14, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Sep 20, 2009
|Narrative essay / the street artist
5 - The story is too pat to be realistic. Also, the theme of the etching, according to the website you...
Writing Feedbackal_nadwani - Sep 19, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 20, 2009
|Toefl Topic -- "A person you know is coming to your town"
5 - You're not doing too badly for a TOEFL essay. You should reorder either your paragraphs or your introduction, however,...
Writing Feedbackzhigoolet - Sep 19, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 19, 2009
|discuss advantages and disadvantages of building a new shopping center
4 - It is comment considered thatN othing in the world is perfect, and everything always comes at a price. ...
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Sep 18, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 19, 2009
|'advantages outweigh annoyance' - people have a close friendship with their pets
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Sep 17, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Sep 18, 2009
|"All Cultures Are Created Equal" - Is this categorized as an analytical paper?
3 - Your problem here is that you haven't defined "equality," or, for that matter, "culture." In a whole host of...
Writing FeedbackBrianne - Sep 17, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 18, 2009
|students should get jobs or not? why or why not? 'to be more confident'
3 - thank DJKessler very much. your comment encourages me very much; because, my teacher often says that my essays are...
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Sep 18, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Sep 18, 2009
|motherhood and father hood
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Sep 17, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 18, 2009
|Skill is more important than a theory, but without any experience - knowledge, it fails.
Writing FeedbackJin - Sep 16, 2009 / Jin - Sep 18, 2009
|When a huge factory is built, the job demand is high, and it attracts thousand persons to move there
6 - i think that you repeat pollution issue. in the second reason u refer to this problem, however in the...
Writing FeedbackKeng - Sep 16, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Sep 18, 2009
|Critique my essay; American Sports : Sportsmanship or to win at any cost
12 - Computer programs are notoriously difficult to use as a grammar learning tool, unless you are dealing with ESL software...
Writing Feedbackxubis - Sep 4, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 17, 2009
|Toefl--- fossil fuels will soon be replaced?
7 - Maybe not oil, but coal is abundant. We cannot use contractions in written English? Never noticed this problem before......
Writing Feedbacklitingjiao - Sep 16, 2009 / litingjiao - Sep 17, 2009
|"Truth it self doesn't exist" - truth in the relationship
6 - i think that u should not make question in the essays, most people consider that it is not very...
Writing FeedbackPatricia - Sep 16, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Sep 17, 2009
|the way to achieve good health and fitness in modern society
2 - I'm trying to figure out how you've managed to post two essays while only giving feedback -- and not...
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Sep 17, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 17, 2009
|-- Writing from India (essay about holidays and truth)
Writing FeedbackRajiv - Jul 30, 2009 / Rajiv - Sep 17, 2009
|the problems of balancing school, job and a family.
Writing Feedbackmoneyka - Sep 11, 2009 / Jin - Sep 16, 2009
|MANY PEOPLE DO BUSINESS AT HOME AND STUDY DUE TO COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY.DISCUSS
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 13, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 15, 2009
|TOEFL: Good or bad for more information?
Writing Feedbackjiaxing - Sep 15, 2009 / jiaxing - Sep 15, 2009
|Cbest Essay - Memories are instruments that will teach us valuable lessons
3 - If you are or will be teaching in public schools, you may want to demonstrate your ability to...
Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Sep 15, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 15, 2009
|Toefl : professional athletes make too much money?
9 - Yeah, I know... I didn't finish this one within 30 minutes... I'm just practicing now and I hope I...
Writing Feedbacklitingjiao - Sep 9, 2009 / litingjiao - Sep 15, 2009
|"joining the armed forces" - FSU entrance essay: Vires, Artes, Mores
3 - Do not start with this. Your reader will have been reading hundreds of essays on "Vires, Artes, Mores."...
Writing Feedbackzoe_marie1 - Sep 15, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 15, 2009
|Offering Incentives - IELTS Essay
14 - thanks guys...i've been thinking about this..but i'm still confused...like this example below from BBC news: "US forces have "likely...
Writing Feedbackstealthreaction - Aug 21, 2009 / stealthreaction - Sep 14, 2009
|Response paper for Bill of Divorcement
2 - The focus of the essay is supposed to be the smoking, but you do not mention this theme until...
Writing Feedbackpaolaalonzo - Sep 14, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 14, 2009
|"experience is the best teacher" - Practice essay for CLEP Exam
Writing Feedbackjwinzer - Sep 13, 2009 / jwinzer - Sep 14, 2009
|TOEFL: Media are paying too much attention to public figures' personal life?
2 - This looks good for a TOEFL essay. Just a few punctuation problems... The interrogations of the media often...
Writing Feedbacklitingjiao - Sep 13, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 14, 2009
|Teacher lecture or students do some of the talking? which do you prefer?
5 - You're right danielh. I think I will just focus on the basic sentence structure right now. I don't want...
Writing Feedbackmrarching - Sep 11, 2009 / litingjiao - Sep 13, 2009
|Toefl topic -- why should people attend the university?
Writing FeedbackJin - Sep 13, 2009 / Jin - Sep 13, 2009
|WILL WOMEN LEADERS BE LESS VIOLENT THAN MEN, GIVE EXAMPLE AND OPINION
6 - Naturally society expects men to be leaders and for women to be kind and gentle. For a woman to...
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 11, 2009 / danielh - Sep 13, 2009
|When a baby comes to this world, the first man they meet are his/her parents...
Writing FeedbackJin - Sep 12, 2009 / Jeannie - Sep 13, 2009
|toefl - Should enter the best university. agree or disagree
4 - yeah~ we should attend the university,as it offers us the opportunity to accumulate the konwledge we need to...
Writing Feedbacktalkysweet - Sep 9, 2009 / Jin - Sep 12, 2009
|If you could change one important thing about your country, what would you change?
4 - What do you mean by a standard school? There are many types of schools with many curricula and many...
Writing Feedbackessay0405 - Sep 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 11, 2009
|a machine that many people,including myself,are dependent on is....
5 - Whether or not it is okay enough depends what the instructions were, what grade level you are writing for,...
Writing Feedbackkutie_9x - Sep 11, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 11, 2009
|MANY PEOPLE LIKES TO LIVE ON THEIR OWN. DISCUSS SOCIAL EFFECTS
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 9, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 11, 2009
|CBEST: Bad memories should not be treated as a hindrance but as a learning opportunity.
5 - There are plenty of online sources for grammar worksheets and the like. Try The Owl at Purdue. Also, go...
Writing Feedbackxubis - Sep 9, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 11, 2009
|A SOCIETY IS BASED ON LAWS AND RULES. DISCUSS THE PERSON WHO WANT TO LIVE FREELY
3 - Again, try revising this essay yourself, focusing purely on eliminating all grammatical errors. Working out for yourself what is...
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 10, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 11, 2009
|Many Animal are getting extinct from this world, describe the ways to protect .
3 - Simone is right -- your grammatical mistakes are severe enough and frequent enough that they make reading your essays...
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 10, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 11, 2009
|Essay on a carpe diem quote
3 - Yeah, that shouldn't be too difficult for you. We should seize today because we cannot change yesterday or predict...
Writing Feedbackicemaster2340 - Sep 10, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 10, 2009
|Essay Recounting a "Moment In Time"
Writing Feedbackdmitchell1991 - Sep 5, 2009 / dmitchell1991 - Sep 10, 2009
|'saving land for the endangered animals' - toefl IBT issue
7 - This is pretty nice essay for ibt Toefl. Your vocabulary is good. I like your conclusion part....
Writing Feedbackclaire echo - Sep 5, 2009 / linhexi - Sep 10, 2009
|A Separate Peace: Essay for 9th Grade (honors) English
Writing FeedbackNotoman - Sep 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 9, 2009
|MACHINES ARE BECOMING VERY SOPHISTICATED, WORKERS ARE BENEFIT FROM THAT,DISCUSS
4 - No, sorry. I can't rewrite your essay for you. Try to rewrite it yourself, using short, simple sentences. And...
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 8, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 9, 2009
|What are the good things and bad things about the place you live in? (Toefl)
2 - This essay lacks a conclusion. Even if it's only a couple of sentences, be sure to include a summarizing...
Writing Feedbacksaurabhjain162 - Sep 9, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 9, 2009
|Toefl topic--how is your generation different from your parents' generation?
Writing Feedbackmrarching - Sep 7, 2009 / xubis - Sep 9, 2009
|whether solving the problems needs understand the past?
Writing Feedbackangelwds - Sep 5, 2009 / angelwds - Sep 8, 2009
|Making A Difference (to save the environment)
9 - Perhaps you could condense the essay a bit too. The story itself is good, as it shows that you...
Writing Feedbackkmauer21 - Sep 1, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 8, 2009
|Is Death Penalty FAIR? Opinion essay.
3 - Oh dear. I agree that the death penalty should be carried out much faster than it currently is (if...
Writing Feedbacksecret_blossom - Sep 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 8, 2009
|SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT STUDENTS STUDY EFFECIENTLY IN GROUPS.DISCUSS
5 - All-caps is generally taken as shouting, whether in titles or in posts. Headlines are meant to shout, to attract...
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 8, 2009
|To what extent is your society effectively dealing with crime?
4 - First, you have to decide which country you are dealing with ("this country" is a bit vague when you...
Writing Feedbacklook416 - Sep 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 8, 2009
|Toefl topic:"When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has...."
5 - You have many issues in this essay. I will hit the big ones. Your second paragraph ends abruptly....
Writing Feedbackzkglr - Sep 7, 2009 / Catlady - Sep 8, 2009
|Children should start attending school at a very young age even b4 they can read
4 - you write a very small esssay, try to eleborate more. you can add play school that children should go...
Writing Feedbackliiintz - Sep 7, 2009 / niraj - Sep 8, 2009
|Everything began during the hot and breezy Summer ; Reality check essay
Writing FeedbackThumperSD - Sep 7, 2009 / ThumperSD - Sep 7, 2009
|CBEST: If you could be any age that you wanted to be, what age would you choose?
2 - Hmm... This is fine, but simplistic. I wonder if you might want to say something about valuing what you...
Writing Feedbackbubuvio - Sep 7, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 7, 2009
|Your favorite movie (in IMAX Theater)
8 - hello Sean! Thank you a lot for your message. I understand right now that i need to change the...
Writing FeedbackYulka - Sep 6, 2009 / Yulka - Sep 7, 2009
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