|Writing Feedback [23,059] - page 367 of 385|
|Something That Changed Me - Becoming a Bully
13 - Yes, six! (Picture me with an amiable yet incredulous expression.) At least, that was my experience. I'm all...
Writing FeedbackANSH729 - Mar 27, 2009 / silverystars - Apr 10, 2009
|The individuality, use of machines and traveling for pleasure - essay
Writing FeedbackChidem - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 10, 2009
|Apprenticeship Program Aplication
Writing Feedbackangelfight - Apr 9, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 10, 2009
|Economic paper: the role of opportunity cost in financial decision making
5 - Like Kevin, I can only guess at your meaning, as a result of unfamiliarity with the subject matter combined...
Writing FeedbackAbby002 - Apr 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 10, 2009
|Advertisers, affecting our childs thought process
10 - Overall this is a really well constructed essay. I wonder, though, if you might make a bit stronger if...
Writing Feedbacklilmisha - Apr 3, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 10, 2009
|Definition Essay: Building the Blocks, Becoming Successful (The Climb)
3 - "Success" is derived from the Latin word "successus"... You can follow Sean's advice by using a new topic...
Writing Feedbackbhoptl - Apr 8, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 9, 2009
|Pushed to hard work-----a positive or negative development?
Writing Feedbackkirin - Apr 8, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 9, 2009
5 - As you rework this essay, think about how you can move, as you progress from the introduction to the...
Writing Feedbackhannahkim91 - Apr 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 8, 2009
|Hypocrisy in the Chrysalids
Writing Feedbackmacawtopia - Apr 6, 2009 / Rosamond - Apr 8, 2009
|It's with God's miracle that human miracles are innovate; Human Mind vs. the Computer
Writing FeedbackRosamond - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 6, 2009
|The higher goal the bigger efforts for it. (SAT Essay)
5 - About that thesis, I think you should move this sentence to the end o the first paragraph: People should...
Writing FeedbackGiovane - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 6, 2009
|Essay on England's Right to Tax
Writing FeedbackReborn777 - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 6, 2009
|Limiting the Use of Dispable Plastic Bags
5 - Chidem and HD, thanks for those great insights. It helps in more ways than you know; it helps me...
Writing Feedbacklenzo537 - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 6, 2009
|qualities required for a happy marriage
Writing Feedbackkaynling - Apr 5, 2009 / kaynling - Apr 6, 2009
|Some of my thoughts - an essay
8 - "some thoughts - an essay" This seems to be the crux of your problems. An essay is not usually...
Writing FeedbackRajiv - Aug 12, 2008 / EF_Sean - Apr 6, 2009
|The Big Three, Japanese Archetypes
3 - Well, about the space limitation, remember: you could, if you had to, write this whole essay in a single...
Writing FeedbackFDeacon - Apr 4, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 5, 2009
|Essay on Obama's Stimulus Plan
8 - Well, if you have to remain neutral, perhaps you could focus on the fact that it is controversial, turn...
Writing FeedbackFDeacon - Mar 31, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 4, 2009
|My sculpture paper, Emile Antoine Bourdelle
6 - I agree with Kevin -- you have met the requirements and given a decent description of the artwork, but...
Writing FeedbackMoeMoe1 - Apr 1, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 4, 2009
|Introduction essay for Death of a Salesman prompt- Critiques?
3 - You're on the right track. Willy is only truly happy when he is working with his hands. If he...
Writing Feedbackkeentimothy - Apr 2, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 4, 2009
|"Important truths begin as.." (CLEP English Comp w/essay)
4 - Oh, that is an interesting point you made, about the difficulty of writing when you don't know much about...
Writing Feedbacknazgolg2000 - Apr 3, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 4, 2009
|The mighty (movie) essay. Max's past.
Writing Feedbacknewsha31 - Apr 2, 2009 / newsha31 - Apr 4, 2009
|Pledge of Allegiance, under God, separation of church/state, essay feedback
Writing Feedbackkauilani1 - Mar 31, 2009 / silverystars - Apr 3, 2009
|Pan's Labyrinth vs. The Fountain essay
4 - I agree with the Eliot quote. Tennessee Williams said it best: "I give you truth in the pleasant disguise...
Writing Feedbackmwingboy - Mar 31, 2009 / silverystars - Apr 3, 2009
|Opening paragraph - 1984 by George Orwell - Big Brother control
5 - There is only one way in which one is allowed to carry out sexual activities: to produce a child...
Writing Feedbackpeppersauce - Apr 1, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 3, 2009
|A good X ( Teacher, Roomate, Classmate, Friend, etc.)
3 - You really need to pick one X. (Teacher, Roommate, Classmate, Friend, etc.). Anything general enough to fit all of...
Writing FeedbackCS800 - Mar 31, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 1, 2009
|The Ultimate Controversy: Argument Essay
19 - "Ultimately, Brandon McInerney and all juveniles who carry out premeditated and hate crimes must be tried as adults" I...
Writing Feedbackpanmit - Feb 25, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 1, 2009
|Description Movie-Secret essay
2 - Jay lives with his father -- who is a Tamkang music teacher that wears glasses and a beard, and...
Writing Feedbacklilylee34 - Mar 31, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2009
|Power Privilege essay
8 - You still need to work on defining power. You might start by going over to dictionary.com, which lists 20...
Writing Feedbackwilliams73 - Mar 31, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 1, 2009
|Some Causes of Stress -- work, family, finance.
3 - In our modern, technological century, stress becomes a common experience for all of us. There are many reasons. for...
Writing Feedbackchubbybear - Mar 30, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 31, 2009
|TOEFL Essay - Cars cause a lot of air pollution...
5 - In my view, this payment it is obviously their responsibility to pay for cleaning the environment and to support...
Writing Feedbackinextricable - Mar 30, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 31, 2009
5 - I agree that the first paragraph should be cut. Instead of saying obvious things, say your most important truth...
Writing Feedbackicemaster2340 - Mar 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 31, 2009
|"PGD method" - feetback on introduction of short academic essay
12 - "a morally problematic way of thinking that the Holocaust should have taught us to avoid." Avoid comparing things to...
Writing FeedbackTAMTAM - Mar 20, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 30, 2009
|Do circumstances determine whether or not we should tell the truth?
10 - Your second essay now stays on topic, and is much better. For the first essay, your proposed revision still...
Writing Feedbacktiantian12 - Mar 28, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 30, 2009
|If you cannot excel in a field, simply leave it for someone who can. Decisions
Writing FeedbackRosamond - Mar 26, 2009 / tasneemspring - Mar 30, 2009
|My narrative story on how bank of america charge off department closed down
3 - Some excellent advice from Mustafa. I would go even further, though, and say that you should add dialogue even...
Writing Feedbacksexyness1421 - Mar 29, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 30, 2009
|Management of Planning - Arthur Anderson (Enron case)
4 - If you have already done the research, you are halfway there already. Try to find connections between the pieces...
Writing Feedbackchampion510 - Mar 28, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 29, 2009
|IELTS Writing Task--Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood
18 - It's a classic breakdown in an argument, out of viciousness and disrepute -- failing to stay on point as...
Writing Feedbackkirin - Mar 25, 2009 / Mustafa1991 - Mar 29, 2009
|If you can interview any living person, who would it be and why?
6 - Rich Monte) I appreciated your points ! I realized how important to distinguish the truth through television or...
Writing Feedbacksukjay - Mar 26, 2009 / sukjay - Mar 28, 2009
|Essay on The Cons of Social Text Messaging
Writing FeedbackNathan - Mar 27, 2009 / Nathan - Mar 28, 2009
|Essay on the Reformation in Europe - Feedback
2 - ...Along with it, the Protestant Reformation brought religious pluralism in Europe, attacking religious dogma which at that time dominated...
Writing FeedbackAMk - Mar 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 27, 2009
|Do images and impressions have too much of an effect on people?
5 - EV Kevin~thank you for your encouragement. I really appreciate your help. I will work harder to improve my writing!!^_^...
Writing Feedbacktiantian12 - Mar 26, 2009 / tiantian12 - Mar 27, 2009
|"Never too Buff"; two examples of thesis statments
18 - Now, reading with my defense down, I can take advantage of his point of view. Thanks again, Sean Oh...
Writing Feedbacklilmisha - Mar 21, 2009 / lilmisha - Mar 27, 2009
|My pet essay
Writing FeedbackU to the Woods - Mar 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 26, 2009
|One of Edison's invention - Does this article sound good in English?
Writing Feedbacktasneemspring - Mar 24, 2009 / Rosamond - Mar 26, 2009
|Proudest achievement of my life-linear generator buoy
3 - pretty impressive essay... specially ur ideas.. overall i don thin dis essay requires much of changes.. i agree wid...
Writing Feedbackabhishek - Mar 25, 2009 / savvy - Mar 26, 2009
|Soldiers experiences in Iraq, World War II, Vietnam.
4 - This is a compare/contrast on the soldiers' experiences, not on the wars themselves, the way I see it. ...
Writing Feedbacksadly204 - Mar 23, 2009 / Mustafa1991 - Mar 25, 2009
|Intro for my essay about army lowing its standards. Sound good so far?
Writing Feedbacksgc88 - Mar 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 24, 2009
|Catcher in the Rye: reality vs. fantasy
Writing Feedbacksc15pcz - Mar 11, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 24, 2009
|Karl Marx vs. The Economic Hitman
7 - Yes, but the fact that people believe it does work means that they accept levels of income inequality that...
Writing FeedbackGautama - Mar 21, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 23, 2009
|review my quote essay ("The desire to know..")
7 - In all scope of All human achievement begins with a desire to know, and this desire is what drives...
Writing FeedbackGrammarFool - Mar 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 23, 2009
|Gay, lesbian, bisexual teens in America
2 - Here are some revisions and suggestions to get you started: "Gay, lesbian, bisexual people are treated like different...
Writing Feedbackchipmunk - Mar 21, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 22, 2009
|Pygmalion Paragraph for brochure
Writing Feedbackmenamilad - Mar 21, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 22, 2009
|Goals: Dancer, Hairdresser, Musician
5 - The first goal beside that of becoming a dancer is to become an elementary school teacher. One reason...
Writing Feedbackanzgurl - Mar 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 21, 2009
|A short story draft - dirty job, "Dear Diary" comment
Writing Feedbacknewsha31 - Mar 18, 2009 / newsha31 - Mar 20, 2009
|Summary and Personal Response "Hills Like White Elephants" grammar check
4 - At some point you might want to think about the two main meanings of the phrase "white elephant." It...
Writing Feedbackkinghippo - Mar 18, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 20, 2009
|Thesis Statement About My Goals (semi-pro football)
Writing FeedbackGHouse - Feb 17, 2009 / GHouse - Mar 19, 2009
|"What did you want to be when you were a child" - 5 paragraph essay
4 - However, when I got older, I realized that being a dancer was not my top goal anymore, because I...
Writing Feedbackanzgurl - Mar 18, 2009 / anzgurl - Mar 19, 2009
|"The Right To Have an Abortion" - my argumentative paper
20 - Yes, that's right! Good insight. A good essay is at least a little argumentative, in the sense that it...
Writing Feedbacklatror - Mar 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 19, 2009
|"Lithuania Environmental problems" essay - correct my mistakes
3 - Nevertheless, Lithuania has problems involving the quantity of garbage, car ... Yeah... you need to be more specific. What...
Writing Feedbackjurgita - Mar 18, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 19, 2009
|Essay to Compare your Two Teachers
10 - i agree with snowman...when I make outlines of a subject I'm about to write on, I find that I...
Writing Feedbackchubbybear - Mar 3, 2009 / sharkbait09 - Mar 17, 2009
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