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|Toefl; What I would change in my hometown? Improve transportation system
4 - Hi, i am preparing for toefl. I think you can try to use more transitional world. Just a suggestion....
Writing Feedbackm_razavi - Oct 3, 2009 / tiantianwenzi - Oct 6, 2009
|"being forced to defend an idea" - my GRE essay
2 - First of all, this is not an undergraduate admissions essay. Second, it is very weak for a GRE essay....
Writing Feedbackmina_sedaghatir - Oct 5, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 6, 2009
|"Diploma holders and the lack of opportunities in Saudi Arabia"
2 - Hi, Your essay states some main points. Repeating them makes your essay too long & not well-organized. Also,...
Writing Feedbackbigb82 - Oct 6, 2009 / tuanlnc - Oct 6, 2009
|Parents are best teachers. They follow us and help us to develop our talent.
5 - Thanks Thinh, In the Princeton Review book, the author advices that we should use template for the essay,...
Writing Feedbacktuanlnc - Oct 5, 2009 / tuanlnc - Oct 6, 2009
|'Young people these days are less interested in studying than in earning money'
3 - Thankyou....I will be posting other essays as well...very soon and I would like to have your comments.......
Writing Feedbackhera246 - Oct 5, 2009 / hera246 - Oct 6, 2009
|Satirical Essay (help with the humorous additions)
2 - This isn't satirical so much as vaguely bigoted. Part of your problem is that you are writing about illegal...
Writing Feedbackganz91 - Oct 5, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 5, 2009
|Advertisements makes people selfish and greedy for more and more goods
5 - Using more specific language would help, as vague language combines with grammatical difficulties to make sentences dull and difficult...
Writing Feedbackessay0405 - Oct 4, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 5, 2009
|causes and solutions for reducing the gap beween rich and poor nations
5 - hi tuan, i am not sure about that phrase. some people have talked to me like that; however, i...
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 4, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Oct 5, 2009
|It is more important to reserve land for human beings than for endangered animal
Writing Feedbackruanxiaohang - Oct 4, 2009 / ruanxiaohang - Oct 5, 2009
|Psychiatrist are doctors that deals with prevention, diagnosis, and treatment of mental disorders
2 - You need to break what is now your second paragraph into several shorter paragraphs. What is now your final...
Writing Feedbackmaking101 - Oct 4, 2009 / EF_Simone - Oct 4, 2009
|Students should not get marriage while they are still studing
Writing Feedbackkahlan - Oct 3, 2009 / kahlan - Oct 4, 2009
|talent is a natural gift or from practice
3 - thanks so much EF_Sean. i know that in this essay, i wrote not well. it is a pretty difficult....
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 2, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Oct 4, 2009
|Not only should we search for a high grade, but also a future of further education.
Writing Feedbackruanxiaohang - Oct 3, 2009 / verily - Oct 4, 2009
|Toefl iBT writing - Integrated task: Global warming
Writing Feedbacktuanlnc - Sep 30, 2009 / kristinbrianne - Oct 3, 2009
|toefl-Live performance or TV, which is more enjoyable; 'annoying advertisements'
3 - Sean, thank you so much for your advice. I think i understand what you mean. This is my revised...
Writing Feedbacktiantianwenzi - Oct 2, 2009 / tiantianwenzi - Oct 3, 2009
|Is it more important to spend more time working than being with family?
3 - Thanks...
Writing Feedbackruanxiaohang - Oct 3, 2009 / ruanxiaohang - Oct 3, 2009
|College or univeristy's benefits
8 - hi, in the next month, i have to take ielts exam. however, i am not really confident for writing...
Writing Feedbacktuanlnc - Sep 30, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Oct 3, 2009
|toefl--making decision by ourselves
Writing Feedbackmocixuan - Oct 2, 2009 / mocixuan - Oct 2, 2009
|Critique of woman in documentary
2 - Your first paragraph consists entirely of sentence fragments. I'm assuming that your professor asked you to write it that...
Writing Feedbackshahindian2009 - Oct 1, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 2, 2009
|"My future job" - revise an essay; I allways want to be a designer
5 - Also, there is no excuse for making really obvious spelling mistakes. Run your work through a spellchecker, which will...
Writing FeedbackKorh - Sep 28, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 2, 2009
|people are born with talent or not
2 - This topic cries out for a response that follows a thesis, antithesis, synthesis structure, and in fact your essay...
Writing Feedbackkhoctham - Oct 2, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 2, 2009
|Essay based on an aphorism - Black Tees in August
8 - I think there are parts - especially in the middle where sentences are too choppy. Also is a "brick...
Writing Feedbackcburns - Sep 27, 2009 / cburns - Oct 2, 2009
|Process Essay (graphic designer)
Writing Feedbackandya - Sep 30, 2009 / shahindian2009 - Oct 1, 2009
|A Trip Back in Time
3 - I feel like your essay does need some changing. Although its a creative idea - the way you wrote...
Writing FeedbackVMinacapelli - Oct 1, 2009 / shahindian2009 - Oct 1, 2009
|Topic 4: Self-study or learning with a teacher
5 - i see, however, personally, i believe that yours will be better if you show that advantages from the second...
Writing Feedbackessay0405 - Sep 26, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Oct 1, 2009
|"Happiness is the same as crystal, the more sparkling it is, the more easily it breaks"
2 - That's debatable. Some psychologists would say that happiness is a quite tangible collection of neurological and physiological happenings....
Writing Feedbackkhoctham - Oct 1, 2009 / EF_Simone - Oct 1, 2009
|Toefl essay---a library is a good place for studying
Writing FeedbackKeng - Sep 23, 2009 / khoctham - Oct 1, 2009
|First Amendment and the Freedom of Speech
2 - This is a write up of facts about freedom of speech, draped loosely around the overly simplistic thesis that...
Writing FeedbackNotoman - Oct 1, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 1, 2009
|Some people think that traditional games are better than modern games , discuss
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 30, 2009 / patchell5107 - Sep 30, 2009
|Help with Rogerian Style Essay- "The Entitlement Generation"
2 - Your essay is a bit disorganized at present. Why should those born between 1979 and 1994 have a particularly...
Writing FeedbackMurakamiTee - Sep 30, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 30, 2009
|What is the real friend? A real friend is a person who is other-oriented, less self-centered.
2 - Hi, Here are some my ideas about your essays: 1. The first sentence of the introduction paragraph...
Writing Feedbackmocixuan - Sep 29, 2009 / tuanlnc - Sep 30, 2009
|Narrative + Descriptive Essay feedback
Writing Feedbackjm22 - Sep 28, 2009 / mikesperry79 - Sep 29, 2009
|Solution to the global climate change
2 - This doesn't seem like a fair prompt. There is no way you can write enough to give a thoughtful...
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Sep 29, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 29, 2009
|the way to achieve fitness and health
2 - This seems like the sort of essay where it might help to explicitly define the term "normal life" in...
Writing Feedbackkhoctham - Sep 29, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 29, 2009
|academic essay for the important assessment of the English Curriculum.
Writing FeedbackKeng - Sep 28, 2009 / Keng - Sep 29, 2009
|Music can kill much time if people are bored - sound is part of our lives
2 - Sometimes I really believe that music has a power which can make people relaxed. Almost everyone listen(s) to music...
Writing FeedbackJin - Sep 29, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Sep 29, 2009
|Exercise for upcoming final exam: How to be a good manager?
2 - Be careful with word choice. I'm guessing you mean "shrewd" rather than "shrew." I wonder if you really...
Writing FeedbackRosejoker - Sep 28, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 29, 2009
|Puerile Prince or Stalwart King: An Analysis of Shakespeare's Henry V
Writing FeedbackNotoman - Sep 21, 2009 / Notoman - Sep 29, 2009
|Collaborative Activity - Define Hope
Writing Feedbackmikesperry79 - Sep 28, 2009 / mikesperry79 - Sep 29, 2009
|ielts: academic module task 1 (Underground Station Passenger Numbers)
3 - yeah...sorry for that. i tried to copy the graph but it seems that the program can't follow the command....
Writing Feedbackdinky - Sep 28, 2009 / dinky - Sep 29, 2009
|Modern Technology & Single World Culture; Specific Reasons/ Examples
2 - dmittedly, there are many good opportunities for who wants to expand their knowledge about other countries' cultures on the...
Writing FeedbackMinnie - Sep 28, 2009 / khoctham - Sep 29, 2009
|low-paying secure job OR high-paying unsecure job?
Writing Feedbacklitingjiao - Sep 25, 2009 / khoctham - Sep 29, 2009
|Descriptive Essay A Memorable Place
3 - I agree. I've never been in Vietnam, so your descriptions are helpful in making me feel what it is...
Writing Feedbackteoster4o9 - Sep 28, 2009 / Stephen McGuire - Sep 28, 2009
|why movies have become a part of life
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Sep 27, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 28, 2009
|My two life accomplishments fedback
2 - You might wish to add some background information about yourself to the beginning of your essay. Apparently the incident...
Writing Feedbackmirianlandi - Sep 28, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 28, 2009
|Explain the humanistic Approach to Counselling
3 - Thank you so very much for your help. I completely agree with you about my essay jumping here, there...
Writing FeedbackNessie - Sep 27, 2009 / Nessie - Sep 28, 2009
|Treating pets as family members is not a good way for human beings even though they are our friends.
3 - hi jin, i have ever written about this topic. however my essay support that statement. i think there are...
Writing FeedbackJin - Sep 27, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Sep 27, 2009
|Personal life of famous person is no longer "personal"
5 - With the remarkable development of public media, the personal life of famous person is no longer "personal". Personally, I...
Writing FeedbackJin - Sep 23, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Sep 27, 2009
|Rambo Verses the Boar; Descriptive Narrative Assignment
Writing Feedbackneuromancer - Sep 18, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 27, 2009
|how can school help new students get accustomed to new environment?
6 - thanks mrchildchil! ielts 8 band, it means that your english is excellent. in your opinion, with this essay, how...
Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Sep 20, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Sep 26, 2009
|Biased Metaphors in the Science of Reproduction
2 - You ought to get a good grade for this essay. You accurately summarize Martin's overall point, illustrating the idea...
Writing Feedbackjason123 - Sep 26, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 26, 2009
|'How I adapted to fit in' - Meaningful experience
10 - i really like how you worded your essay it flows and it also describes your personaly like when i...
Writing Feedbacksly634 - Sep 25, 2009 / acat6332 - Sep 26, 2009
|Comparison essay with subject on tolerance and power.
11 - To EF_Sean Hmm, I better be more careful with how I word things next time. Actually it wasn't until...
Writing Feedbackdanielh - Sep 12, 2009 / danielh - Sep 26, 2009
|Reading habits of Leeville citizens - Analyse An Argument. Rate on a scale of 6
2 - No, the argument does not state this. One study found that Leeville citizens reported this. In light of...
Writing Feedbackdesigningsally - Sep 26, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 26, 2009
|Good parents influence their children essay
5 - I think your introduction essay is too long. Why don't you make it shorter and divide you essay in...
Writing Feedbackkokidpham - Sep 20, 2009 / essay0405 - Sep 26, 2009
|A paragraph about Dreams
Writing FeedbackMermaid1 - Sep 25, 2009 / designingsally - Sep 26, 2009
|IBT essay - Study for free at the university
Writing Feedbacktuanlnc - Sep 25, 2009 / tuanlnc - Sep 26, 2009
|Reserve Readings - What did I do wrong in this essay?
7 - Research your topic more, and spend some time reflecting on it. Once you know the material well enough, your...
Writing FeedbackJeannie - Sep 13, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 25, 2009
|Personal Definition (AP Composition class)
Writing FeedbackTroubledWriter - Sep 24, 2009 / TroubledWriter - Sep 24, 2009
|Cbest Essay - Missing Opportunity in Life
Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Sep 21, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 24, 2009
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