Writing Feedback

Essay Analysis of a Photograph

3 - I'm simply revisiting this thread to say a belated thanks for the help that I received. :)...

Writing Feedbacksilverystars - Oct 17, 2007 / silverystars - Jan 26, 2009

review - Position(s) of responsibility you have held

5 - On the last sentence, I would emphasize your point like this: It also gave me a great level...

Writing Feedbackvj_justin - Jan 15, 2009 / silverystars - Jan 26, 2009

A Letter from Birmingham Jail (loaded words effectiveness)

5 - thank you all for reading it i appreciate it very much and will definitely make the adjustments you suggested!...

Writing Feedbackremembermo - Jan 20, 2009 / remembermo - Jan 25, 2009

ESSAY: SHOULD TUCK SHOP STOP SELLING "JUNK FOOD"?

5 - That's interesting about U.S.A. Today taking both sides... smart strategy! Speaking of editorials, my grandmother recently wrote an editorial...

Writing Feedbacknpxzs - Jan 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 25, 2009

Ref: Analisis of instructions and procedures.

3 - Here are some suggestions to get you started: "the power on/off button " "The second page displays...

Writing Feedbackfernaj13 - Jan 24, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 24, 2009

Nature and nurture essay research (GRE exam)

2 - It may be more accurate to say not that people inherited particular personality traits, but rather that people inherited...

Writing Feedbackavih - Jan 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 23, 2009

Narrative Essay (what to be when you grow up) - I need critique

4 - Thank you for the help! I am actually planning to specialize in pediatric oncology : ) I actually follow...

Writing FeedbackBrinajada - Jan 23, 2009 / Brinajada - Jan 23, 2009

By age 24, 60% of bullies have a criminal record; Introduction/ Essay on Bullying

3 - "By age 24, 60% of bullies have a criminal record." Also, do you know that 92% of statistics are...

Writing Feedbackcoollint - Jan 22, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 22, 2009

Several different ways in which colleges fail to prepare students for life.

7 - Using a solitary example weakens an essay that is supposed to discuss "Several different ways" of something, because it...

Writing FeedbackKayshel - Jan 19, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 22, 2009

Oedipus the Tragic Hero

6 - thank you!! this helps a lot :)...im almost done, only like a page and a half left...

Writing Feedbackvkwang - Jan 19, 2009 / vkwang - Jan 20, 2009

Great Expectations - Charles Dickens. Tension and suspense.

4 - You include a lot of plot summary and details that really have little or nothing to do with how...

Writing FeedbackViral - Jan 17, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 19, 2009

GRE essay (Science and Art)

2 - Your essay lacks focus. It is not particularly clear what your thesis is, or what sort of relationship, if...

Writing Feedbackavih - Jan 17, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 17, 2009

"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity"; significant event or achievement

3 - Use a dash to separate these: "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity" -- Albert Einstein Oh,...

Writing Feedbackvj_justin - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2009

"The New Lone Rangers" and "Foot-binding" are representing the same sort of character

2 - This is interesting reading good luck with your grammar try buying greegs list it should help you in the...

Writing Feedbackchipmunk - Jan 15, 2009 / mcglownn - Jan 15, 2009

'Inspiration to my brother and sister' your short and long-term goals and priorities

4 - Nice essay with a nice touch of personal feelings... It will be better if u can split and make...

Writing Feedbackrosy - Jan 11, 2008 / vj_justin - Jan 15, 2009

Comparing slavery in the American and Russian serfdom

3 - Brilliant idea...

Writing FeedbackYeereina - Jan 20, 2008 / Zuhayr90 - Jan 14, 2009

Leadership experience - leader is one who learns from their success and failure

4 - You also have to answer the qn "How and why did you become a leader in this area?". Also...

Writing Feedbackkbros9193 - Jan 12, 2009 / vj_justin - Jan 14, 2009

The person I admire happens to be my rival - Essay on Role model

13 - Thanx...

Writing FeedbackULL - Jan 3, 2009 / ULL - Jan 14, 2009

need help with fixing my essay, "LETTER FROM BIRMINGHAM JAIL" response

5 - thanks guys, i'm fixing it up right now. ill let you know how it goes. =]...

Writing Feedbackamonet520 - Jan 10, 2009 / amonet520 - Jan 13, 2009

Sexual Harassment research essay

2 - Revise for conciseness by taking out unnecessary words. They suck the life out of writing! :) To begin...

Writing FeedbackKarim Fathi - Jan 12, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 13, 2009

Infertility treatments essay

2 - To answer your question, I think you should put title WITH the author's name so that it is perfectly...

Writing Feedbacksarahmk - Aug 7, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Jan 13, 2009

Ending Underage Drinking by Making It Legal. Should underage drinking laws be changed.

5 - Thank you for all your help I received an A on this paper your services are awesome!...

Writing Feedbackcarebear - Oct 8, 2008 / carebear - Jan 13, 2009

"rules of the game" in society - essay, opinions

7 - A good way to start this sort of essay is by defining your key terms. So, what do you...

Writing Feedbackyohooo - Jan 10, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 12, 2009

The Process of Unification - Satirical essay on Religion

6 - my opinion no everyone has a way off thought and ideas!...

Writing FeedbackGcardwell - Nov 11, 2008 / lady_b - Jan 12, 2009

"The Great Changes" - Essay Feedback

3 - This opening part: For most people, high school is just the next step of education. Most students havetheir...

Writing Feedbackseanydee - Jan 11, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 12, 2009

Discrimination and predjudice - psychological and sociological views

5 - Im sorry, if u still need help, i would be more than happy to help you out. i havent...

Writing Feedbacksarahmk - Aug 20, 2008 / sarahmk - Jan 12, 2009

Essay on Kafka's Metamorphosis

3 - good arguement, and subject good luck on the assignment...

Writing Feedbackbizkitgirlzc - May 28, 2007 / gmanz - Jan 11, 2009

need help with this essay - "the subjects with which you had difficulty"

5 - thanks for the feed back...

Writing Feedbackkbros9193 - Jan 10, 2009 / kbros9193 - Jan 11, 2009

an experiment essay - A memorable evening

9 - ok I'll try that...

Writing Feedbackonindo - Jan 9, 2009 / onindo - Jan 9, 2009

Magic Lu Chen - essay help

5 - Good influential essay, I'm not fond with your system of writing, but I can sense your emotion with Lu...

Writing Feedbackfl415 - Dec 27, 2008 / mikedogg90 - Jan 9, 2009

'People use some drugs, always' - essay about drugs.

8 - People always use some kinds of drugs. Despite the effects of drugs, millions of people constantly consume (abuse?) various...

Writing Feedbackjurgita - Jan 6, 2009 / mikedogg90 - Jan 9, 2009

Essay comments - "invention that has influenced modern society"

2 - Great job!! My suggestions would be other than calling, what else can a cell phone do that significantly improves...

Writing FeedbackJerrySpock - Jan 6, 2009 / mikedogg90 - Jan 9, 2009

A Separate Peace Essay during World War II in 1943

6 - Commas can be your friend. To help you out, here are some rules on commas: grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.htm Many teachers...

Writing FeedbackShardul - Jan 7, 2009 / EF_Constance - Jan 9, 2009

'Liberalisation of aviation' - Airline deregulation essay

2 - The airline industry currently occupies a very important place in the Irish market, due to both the major changes...

Writing FeedbackTizzy - Jan 6, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 7, 2009

writing technique advices for the essay " regular and election days"

8 - It is better than it was, certainly. You now sound more thoughtful, and have gone into more depth on...

Writing Feedbackcraver - Jan 2, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 6, 2009

Odyssey essay; 'Sure God created man before woman...'

6 - Well, for a high school or undergraduate essay... really for any essay... quotes can be added in at the...

Writing Feedbacksczyra - Jan 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2009

Peony in love is my favorite book. Take a read of this essay

5 - Jerry, that is some great advice. Actually, the thesis sentence often goes at the end of the first paragraph....

Writing Feedbackjenf3r - Jan 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2009

response paragraph for the essay "why we crave horror movies"

4 - Hi Thanks a lot for your corrections. This is my essay i really want to know whether i have...

Writing Feedbackcraver - Jan 2, 2009 / craver - Jan 6, 2009

Essay comments - "A place you go to relax"

4 - Thank you two for the feedback! I will change the end of the first paragraph to (my thesis statement):...

Writing FeedbackJerrySpock - Jan 5, 2009 / JerrySpock - Jan 5, 2009

Internet has given people access to information; we can't live easily without

3 - Beyond the advice you've already been given, you should revise "With the development of Technology, people have chance to...

Writing Feedbackfranklamparden - Jan 4, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 4, 2009

Aunt Junko, essay feedback

3 - thanks, it is a great help...

Writing Feedbackseatoy - Dec 30, 2008 / seatoy - Jan 4, 2009

for IELST...." sports or physical course is importmant "essay

5 - Is that true? Wow, schools should not drop phys. ed... it is so important! I is even important for...

Writing Feedbackpamfan0810 - Jan 2, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2009

An essay about privacy and communication

4 - Another example is that when people use Internet cafés to check their email, some may forget to sign out...

Writing Feedbackray2008 - Jan 1, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 2, 2009

Reflective Response on "To Build a Fire" by Jack London

2 - Nice job! Just use commas to introduce quotes: I think that the author does an excellent job building...

Writing Feedbackrockd211 - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2008

TOEFL: If you could invent sth new, what product would you develop?

3 - however i will resist the temptation because mine MY device in the long term will dissolve this issue WILL...

Writing FeedbackNobel - Dec 15, 2008 / akashnegi - Dec 30, 2008

Paper feedback on Nationalized Healthcare

2 - Not bad. A few questions you might want to consider: "the lack of health care is a growing...

Writing Feedbackcgryniewicz - Dec 29, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 30, 2008

Writing to improve my essay - New Year resolution

4 - Hi: Kevin Thank you very much for your fast response and helpful comments. wu...

Writing Feedbackvickyw - Dec 28, 2008 / vickyw - Dec 29, 2008

PERSONAL ESSAY, does it fit? (Pose an original question and answer it.)

NEW - Pose an original question and answer it. (500 words or less): Imagine that you've just finished writing your...

Writing Feedbacksamosa - Dec 28, 2008 / — -

History and China - Why Lehigh, need corrections

NEW - Obsessed with the historical documentaries of his time, my father often watches them with great appreciation on the sofa....

Writing Feedbackowen92217 - Dec 28, 2008 / — -

"Prevention is better than cure" IELTS essay - much band score I can get?

2 - This concept represents the opportunity to avoid many diseases if we take proactive steps before a problem forms. Previously,...

Writing Feedbackkazi - Dec 27, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 27, 2008

Essay: "What is art for me?"

4 - Those are just some mistakes you made....

Writing FeedbackPower_Hammer - Dec 27, 2008 / Angela629 - Dec 27, 2008

Business Law Essay feedback (Stevens, Wiley & Co)

4 - Yes, these are supposed to be grounded in your course readings. Good luck! It's hard, but it can be...

Writing FeedbackTom - Dec 26, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 27, 2008

Academic Interest (I like math, physics and economics)

3 - During my studies, I try to link what I learned from books to the problems in real life. ...

Writing Feedbacktonydengcnu - Dec 25, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2008

Account of Activities

NEW - Activity 1 In the early 2008, I participated in Beijing Olympic Games Volunteering Service. I filled in the online...

Writing Feedbacktonydengcnu - Dec 25, 2008 / — -

Essay comparing two Short Stories-Topic: Naive Narrator

3 - thank you very much....

Writing FeedbackMimiroselilly25 - Dec 22, 2008 / Mimiroselilly25 - Dec 23, 2008

"the land of the east and west" - my personal essays

6 - YES! You are right to cut it down. When you write something, just like when you do anything else,...

Writing FeedbackAngela629 - Dec 4, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2008

"George Richman" - need revision help on writing a narrative

3 - During one summer day, Rich City was blooming with beauty. The trees are fully grown, everything is green, the...

Writing Feedbackyahman - Dec 19, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2008

Essay on the Greate Gatsby novel

4 - ...and he also provides a contradictory view: "The whole town is desolate. You can take out the word...

Writing Feedbackyahman - May 1, 2008 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2008

Duality of good and evil essay

5 - You might find it helpful to read other works that present philosophies of good and evil The Virtue of...

Writing Feedbackkyudaime - Dec 16, 2008 / EF_Sean - Dec 20, 2008

notre dame essay! - look through and give any suggestions

3 - thank you soo much!! :)!! any other improvements??...

Writing Feedbacklilveni - Dec 16, 2008 / lilveni - Dec 18, 2008

Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 373)