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Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 373)

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Crap to a Craft, David's boredom

3 - Use a comma to separate dialogue from the rest of the sentence: "What to do," he queried in his...

Writing Feedbackwhoau49 - Jul 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 7, 2010
Is creative needed more than ever in the world today?

4 - Actually, I do think this essay has a good clear direction, and you assert your main idea in the...

Writing FeedbackLauratwilight - Jul 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 7, 2010
The Odyssey Years, drifting through life without a tangible goal in mind

11 - Hey thanks You know, I did ponder for a while as to whether I should put "mean" or...

Writing Feedbackershad193 - Jun 29, 2010 / ershad193 - Jul 7, 2010
Television- A Boon or a Bane?

6 - Thank you very much...Kevin! I'd surely follow your advice! :D Thanks!...

Writing Feedbacksilkesha - Jun 13, 2010 / silkesha - Jul 7, 2010
Earth is a beautiful planet which will soon be demolished by human activities

2 - Yes, I like this version a little more. This essay is full of wisdom. I really like...

Writing Feedbackvaishali1980 - Jul 3, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 6, 2010
How media affects the lives of famous people?

4 - thanks Kelvin for helpful suggestion....

Writing Feedbackvaishali1980 - Jul 2, 2010 / vaishali1980 - Jul 4, 2010
Is it always essential to tell the truth, or are there circumstances to lie?

5 - Good job. However you can still give some more convincing examples which concerns with history, some far-reaching celebrities or...

Writing Feedbackndwy - Jun 27, 2010 / Lauratwilight - Jul 4, 2010
Telephones and email have made communication between people less personal

NEW - Nowadays technology has developed enormously that people can communicate easily. Last century, we were dependent on post services; at...

Writing Feedbackvaishali1980 - Jul 4, 2010 / — -
Follow it up with adequate facts ; Limiting inventory to increase profits

4 - There might be a huge chunk of customers who might not bother to participate in such a survey, or...

Writing Feedbackvrajveer89 - Jul 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 3, 2010
My Friends - a Challenging Paragraph

7 - Nice! No need for "Each one" Each implies "one." Each one of them had ......

Writing FeedbackNesreen - Jun 27, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 3, 2010
If Exceed's walls could talk, what would they tell?

3 - After reading your essay, I think you are unhappy with your teacher. There are plenty of things you can...

Writing FeedbackNesreen - Jul 2, 2010 / vaishali1980 - Jul 3, 2010
'cultural monuments' Why people visit a museum while visiting a new place?

5 - Thanks susan and azeri.thanks for your valuable guide.i will try to improve in from my next writing....

Writing Feedbackrupjyoti2706 - Jul 1, 2010 / rupjyoti2706 - Jul 3, 2010
We need neighbors who are helpful, kind, understanding and encouragingr

9 - The generic prompt of sub-dividing ourselves at the base level of individuals assumes a western culture for the ambassadors...

Writing Feedbackvaishali1980 - Jun 30, 2010 / Mustafa1991 - Jul 3, 2010
developed countries help the third world countries

4 - Second para 3rd line ....cut off from outside the world by mountains, forests...its not a mistake but from my...

Writing Feedbackshirui - Jun 28, 2010 / rupjyoti2706 - Jul 1, 2010
Essay on organ donation and genetic screening for philosphy

3 - Rajveer, we're so privileged to have another great participant helping to make these threads excellent. Division23, whjat is...

Writing Feedbackdivision23 - Jun 29, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 1, 2010
I will live in small village. There are many reasons.

10 - Thanks Kelvin You always trying to correct my mistake. I am making same mistake again and again like...

Writing Feedbackvaishali1980 - Jun 22, 2010 / vaishali1980 - Jun 30, 2010
people visit museums when they travel to new places; 'curiosity about ancestors'

4 - A museum is place where people can see history, culture and creativity. There are many reasons that people ...

Writing Feedbackvaishali1980 - Jun 28, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 30, 2010
Write about anything we feel effects our world

6 - thats such a lovely essay!.. :D however, there is something that I did not like--u misspelled the name of...

Writing Feedbackdidi4 - Jun 27, 2010 / silkesha - Jun 29, 2010
ILETS: Description of a camera

3 - This is some great writing! I found a run on sentence, though: At the sides it has two...

Writing FeedbackTetanya - Jun 27, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 29, 2010
IELST essay : "learning by doing" or through books and teachers.

5 - This is a great thread! Everyone really gave some excellent help... Here are some ideas: Many language teachers...

Writing FeedbackSinclair - Jun 26, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 28, 2010
Giving money to sports activities is as important as giving money to libraries

6 - Thanks again Kelvin to realize my small-small mistake, which I have to check properly....

Writing Feedbackvaishali1980 - Jun 25, 2010 / vaishali1980 - Jun 28, 2010
Extracurricular activities bring various benifits to both students

2 - ...adequate funding to students' sports and ... .. various benefits to ... both students and the universites...

Writing Feedbackviebboy - Jun 26, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 28, 2010
Factors contributing to job satisfaction and its importance

5 - Job satisfaction is really a big factor for a professionals because it brings enjoyment while working, which in turns...

Writing Feedbackrupjyoti2706 - Jun 25, 2010 / EF_Susan - Jun 27, 2010
IELTS: essay about British and Australian laws

3 - Sorry, I've just realised your question "Susan" ( For example, if the jury knew the criminal past of...

Writing Feedbackwemo - Jun 24, 2010 / wemo - Jun 26, 2010
Doing a job with hands or with your brains?

4 - It sounds strange to say you have aptitude in thinking. Use this to be specific: ...special aptitude for...

Writing Feedbackhasty2150 - Jun 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 26, 2010
Chronic fatigue and depression in USA vs Asia: Reasoning of an argument

4 - You are making a new assertion here. It's not necessary to do this. The most important thing to...

Writing Feedbacksprasad89 - Jun 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 26, 2010
Victims in five different age groups in Venezuela - Table chart

3 - I see essays like this sometimes. It is to describe a chart that is shown on a test....

Writing Feedbackcathyliu - Jun 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 26, 2010
Educational benefits of computers

4 - Phil, you are making this site a better place and promoting your service in a very cool way. I'm...

Writing Feedbacklowryder49 - Jun 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 26, 2010
IELTS : Attitude of students is the main reason for many problems

3 - Lorena, this is great! Thanks for helping so much. Hi Choi, It;s nice to have you participating here....

Writing FeedbackYumi - Jun 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 26, 2010
IELTS essay: Factors Contributing to Job Satisfaction

5 - Thanks Kevin, you are always an inspiration....

Writing Feedbackershad193 - Jun 24, 2010 / ershad193 - Jun 26, 2010
Laws should not end up in motley - should give the law makers enough flexibility

3 - thank you for replying to my essay.. i'll work on it.....

Writing Feedbackprakharsingh - Jun 10, 2010 / prakharsingh - Jun 26, 2010
The city v small town-county - Comparison-Contrast Essays

3 - Jocelyne 3 There are muchmany more ways to pastimepass time , have a walklike having a walk around the...

Writing Feedbackjocelynephl - Jun 16, 2010 / sprasad89 - Jun 25, 2010
P.S:Meet me"You know where " (chapter two), Reaching the lake

3 - Thanks,I will use that note while writting chapter three ....

Writing Feedbackstranger4ever - Jun 23, 2010 / stranger4ever - Jun 24, 2010
Story: Meet Me 'You Know Where', Reading an unknown letter

7 - lol,haha,ok now i got you!...

Writing Feedbackstranger4ever - Jun 21, 2010 / stranger4ever - Jun 24, 2010
Children spend too much time on computers; IELTS

7 - Nowadays, most South Korean families have their home computers, and therefore many children are affected by it from very...

Writing FeedbackYumi - Jun 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 24, 2010
His name represents the basketball. Michael Jordan was a legend.

4 - That is a good point made by Phil. It will be more powerful if you do not start by...

Writing Feedbackkevinhsin1124 - Jun 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 24, 2010
Pie charts, comparing the sales of books

5 - This first sentence is a tough one: The two pie charts show information about sales at the Famous Book...

Writing Feedbackcathyliu - Jun 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 24, 2010
"Eyes On the Road" - Writing task for Emotional and physical journey

3 - You can say in "your" or on "ones," but if you use ones you need "he or she" In...

Writing Feedbackalekahraiki - Jun 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 24, 2010
TOEFL: Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human

3 - Even though I have experience in only IELTS essays, I will give some general advice. You should not...

Writing Feedbackwraith - Jun 23, 2010 / ershad193 - Jun 24, 2010
ILETS: The affects of smoking upon health and the benefits gained from stopping

4 - Hi Just a simple grammar advice. Whenever you use a singular noun which represents a class or group...

Writing FeedbackTetanya - Jun 23, 2010 / ershad193 - Jun 24, 2010
Do changes that make our lives easier not neccessarily make them better?

4 - Technology may sometimes be helpful, but causes a lack of communication for those who live in this generation ....

Writing Feedbackredtoenails - Jun 22, 2010 / EF_Susan - Jun 23, 2010
pleasure and satisfaction: the pursuit of our desires or the attainment of them?

4 - You can't go from third person, (one's lifetime) to second person, (your desires) in the same sentence. Actually, it...

Writing FeedbackLauratwilight - Jun 22, 2010 / EF_Susan - Jun 23, 2010
It is a paragraph, Are Zoos morally wrong?

10 - It is difficult to make this point, because you say the fact that we can learn things makes...

Writing FeedbackNesreen - Jun 17, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 23, 2010
IELTS immigrants should adopt to local culture or establish a minority community

3 - sorry , it is "approaches". Thank you for your generous help! your positive comments inspire me a lot....

Writing Feedbackshaieli - Jun 20, 2010 / shaieli - Jun 23, 2010
Bar Graph description (coffee and meat consumed in selected countries)

2 - It will be clearer this way: The bar graph compares the amounts of coffee and... Let's add one...

Writing Feedbackcathyliu - Jun 20, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 22, 2010
To what extent do you agree or disagree?---modern & traditional building

6 - accompany = "go with" so do this: accompanying the population exploration explosion... :-) The Governor was accompanied...

Writing Feedbackcathyliu - Jun 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 22, 2010
Learning about the past has many benefit for us; experience, virtues, wisdom

3 - HI~~ thank you for correction. You are great!! You always give me a good advice. Thanks a lot!...

Writing Feedbackkevinhsin1124 - Jun 20, 2010 / kevinhsin1124 - Jun 20, 2010
TOEFL: Important to be able to work with a group of people or independently?

5 - Your teacher is right. If the 4rth thing is last, it is better to say last. But actually,...

Writing Feedbackkevinhsin1124 - Jun 17, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 20, 2010
Traffic congestion and ways to reduce it - Compare paragraph - What's better?

5 - In my country, people often struggle for position while driving and don't stay in their lanes so that everything...

Writing Feedbackmabu9669 - Jun 14, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 20, 2010
NARRATIVE PAPER: on a lesson learned (sports). Question on comma placement.

2 - You can always make writing more powerful if you express the same size idea in fewer words: Many of...

Writing Feedbackrod606 - Jun 19, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 20, 2010
Car has helped people a lot, but the negative effects of automobile exceed the positive effects

2 - i think the first line can be rewritten as "It is obvious that the automobile is one of the...

Writing Feedbacklamktqd - Jun 19, 2010 / ershad193 - Jun 20, 2010
GRE AW ISSUE hunger, unemployment vs art

2 - The speaker asserts that using public resources to support the arts is unjustifiable when starvation and unemployment exist in...

Writing Feedbackjadetang - Jun 17, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 19, 2010
TOEFL: WHICH KIND OF WORKER WOULD YOU HIRE?

5 - OK, thanks a lot!!! now my doubts disappear......

Writing Feedbackmayenlu - Jun 15, 2010 / mayenlu - Jun 18, 2010
TV & Movies have many good influences on peoples' behavior

4 - Thanks silkesha Might be I am incorporate with my native language marathi. thanks for suggestion. I will...

Writing Feedbackvaishali1980 - Jun 17, 2010 / vaishali1980 - Jun 18, 2010
Valuing of past is a must; shorten getting knowledge time, avoiding mistakes

3 - Hi all, I am intending to take the.. ...and it inspires us in our daily lives. Learning...

Writing Feedbackwraith - Jun 16, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 17, 2010
Positive and negative aspects of globalization - two-edged sword

3 - Great corrections here! Proof is a noun, so you need prove instead as a verb. The facts...

Writing Feedbackcathyliu - Jun 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 17, 2010
ielts "When people break the traditions of their predecessors they advance more"

3 - Making Taking the next step of development creates a need to put aside traditional culture and experience. Cross-cultural...

Writing Feedbacklorena - Jun 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 16, 2010
As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work (job satisfaction)

2 - Name_Here did a great thing here, like usual. I know how tedious it is to make those corrections, so......

Writing Feedbackinderjeet - Jun 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 16, 2010
TOEFL:I strongly agree that government should improve public transportation

3 - First of all, a perfect public transporttransportation system can help people to save many time, they do not waste...

Writing Feedbackkevinhsin1124 - Jun 15, 2010 / cathyliu - Jun 16, 2010
TOEFL- Violent Media

6 - Hi Nesreen, Sorry for upseting you. I just thought to correct your essay first. As you have written...

Writing FeedbackNesreen - Jun 14, 2010 / renga78 - Jun 15, 2010

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