Writing Feedback

University students should be required to take history classes - essay

6 - Some points to consider: When summarizing the case against learning history in your first body paragraph, you might...

Writing Feedbackflorazhou - Apr 23, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 25, 2009

Critique my current event paper (English Critical Thinking class)

5 - I am going to tackle your first paragraph. I think that it could read a little better with some...

Writing Feedbackbluek7 - Apr 24, 2009 / Notoman - Apr 25, 2009

English Comp. CLEP- literary decline

3 - Your grammar and style are solid as usual. The content is okay. I suspect for this sort of essay,...

Writing FeedbackSairaTasartir - Apr 22, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 25, 2009

Locke and Rousseau

3 - He was a philosopher who had a lot of influence on ... He asserted that common sense should...

Writing Feedbackgacesaa - Apr 24, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 24, 2009

Austen's satire of society; Pride and Prejudice essay - Check

3 - Citizens--Criticizes... That's the kind of weird mistake that comes from over-zealous word processing program auto-correct functions. I hate those...

Writing Feedbackxeidus - Apr 24, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 24, 2009

What discovery in the last century has been most beneficial for your country?

4 - In the last century, My country, Romania, had passed through many changes and regimes that influence its history in...

Writing Feedbackadalumi - Apr 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 24, 2009

[Essay]The Best and Worst aspects of being a Teenager.

3 - Give some more help to other members -- thoughtful, substantial help, like you might give to a younger sibling...

Writing Feedbackceberus - Apr 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 24, 2009

" Rising divorce rate"- Cause and effect essay

9 - Hi Kevin and Sean, I appreciate ur valuable help! ^^ I learn a lot from you. Thanks again for...

Writing FeedbackThuong - Apr 20, 2009 / Thuong - Apr 24, 2009

'Schools are nestles of education' - Essay on Violence in schools.

13 - Thank you very much for trying to understand me and what I try to say. Your help really is...

Writing FeedbackChidem - Apr 8, 2009 / Chidem - Apr 24, 2009

A mistake i learned from - narrative essay

2 - The pleasant man from the phone call was actually the head coach of the basketball team. He told me...

Writing Feedbackgacesaa - Apr 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 24, 2009

Religion is good for the people - does it touch on the line of poetry?

4 - There is always a certain amount of fun in engaging with a new language. What's your first one? English...

Writing FeedbackProt - Apr 22, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 23, 2009

Personal Objectivity of James Joyce- research paper

3 - This is going to be a great paper! You weave together the information very well. I only found two...

Writing Feedbackhevyhomie - Apr 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 23, 2009

English Comp. CLEP essay - "guns outnumber the population"

4 - Therefore , his proposal is an adept way of limiting the damage done to society through.. (Above) Technically,...

Writing FeedbackSairaTasartir - Apr 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 23, 2009

TOEFL Essay - Parents are the best teachers (Devotion and penetration)

8 - You might want to "exhort" parents to spend more one-on-one time with their children. That is one way to...

Writing FeedbackMonkeyDDragon - Apr 14, 2009 / SairaTasartir - Apr 23, 2009

We can't negative wholly benefit from nuclear technology

5 - Of course, the mod's are spot on, but I'd like to add that while reading your essay, I was...

Writing Feedbacksecret1302 - Apr 14, 2009 / SairaTasartir - Apr 23, 2009

GED Practice essay: Do you think people learn from their mistakes?

7 - Your concluding paragraph could use some beefing up. And I think if you gave some examples of people learning...

Writing Feedbackspczmb - Apr 14, 2009 / SairaTasartir - Apr 23, 2009

Essay: Are exams necessary? Yes ... they are!

5 - It's a good idea to find a couple of examples where exams aren't used and compare them to examples...

Writing Feedbackyemenja - Apr 16, 2009 / SairaTasartir - Apr 23, 2009

English Comp. CLEP - "Discontent is vital to growth and development"

7 - Thanks for your help! LOL... seems to be a popular topic! (either that, or we are both studying from...

Writing FeedbackSairaTasartir - Apr 22, 2009 / SairaTasartir - Apr 23, 2009

'Some empires refused to learn from history' - English Comp. CLEP - practice essay

3 - In the first paragraph, you'll start out stronger if you write, "can be taken to mean" instead of: It...

Writing FeedbackSairaTasartir - Apr 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 23, 2009

Early human development is strongly influenced by nature

6 - Is this supposed to be a five paragraph essay, or a 4? For a standard, five paragraph essay, this...

Writing FeedbackAlshebah - Apr 14, 2009 / SairaTasartir - Apr 22, 2009

Growing housing bubble ignored by ecomomists

3 - Why are we<<Avoid the use of editorial we, us, or our in academic writing when referring to general humanity....

Writing Feedbackmichaelfrye1970 - Apr 22, 2009 / twilocity - Apr 22, 2009

My father sacrificed alot in his lifetime ; Someone Who Has Influenced My Life

10 - Is this supposed to be a five paragraph essay, or a 4? For a standard, five paragraph essay, this...

Writing Feedbackcboggs0027 - Apr 3, 2009 / SairaTasartir - Apr 22, 2009

narrative essay- giving birth, its not graphic

2 - Hyphens: It was two-thirty in the afternoon on a gorgeous sunny, fall, Tuesday. My favorite day of the week....

Writing Feedbackpurfec8gel - Apr 21, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 22, 2009

What is the right stuff essay

5 - Instead of "arrogance," you could just say that they needed a robust ego, and let the reader decide for...

Writing Feedbackmichaelfrye1970 - Apr 18, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 21, 2009

The Concept of Courage as Illustrated by Different Characters

3 - According to Atticus Finch, an honest lawyer in Harper Lee's novel "To Kill a Mockingbird", teaching the children that...

Writing Feedbacktak7171 - Apr 20, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 21, 2009

Aphorism essay - "A Better Tomorrow"

5 - Thanks...

Writing FeedbackNinja Fox - Apr 14, 2009 / Ninja Fox - Apr 21, 2009

The Death Penalty is more costly than imprisoning someone for life

4 - Also, if you are going to make the case that the death penalty does not deter crime, you are...

Writing Feedbacktapsghost - Apr 20, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 21, 2009

Does Success Come from Luck or Work?

7 - You still need a clear thesis. You can side with hard work, or with luck, or you can argue...

Writing Feedbackadalumi - Apr 16, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 20, 2009

Career, exploration, travel, home - check these paragaphs

11 - Here is what to do: Read some articles and see what special ideas they contribute to the topic....

Writing FeedbackThuong - Apr 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 20, 2009

GED Practice essay: Do you think stronger laws should be enacted to...

4 - Thanks both of you for your input. I'm leaving for my exam as I type this. Wish me...

Writing Feedbackspczmb - Apr 19, 2009 / spczmb - Apr 20, 2009

Holocaust Essay (genocide subject)

5 - I'm not an expert just to let you know ahead of time but I am also taking an Ap...

Writing Feedbackahausermun - Apr 11, 2009 / Melanie Rose - Apr 20, 2009

Essay about war and religoion during 1990s in Europe-Balkan

4 - ...especially when war is going on toward you all around me . In Serbia, people who were living...

Writing Feedbackgacesaa - Apr 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 20, 2009

Art Paper - Elizabeth Murray

4 - Like Kevin said, I would strengthen the first paragraph. One way of doing that is by quoting Murray near...

Writing FeedbackLink42 - Apr 14, 2009 / silverystars - Apr 18, 2009

Suxanne - a story about one of my dreams

3 - Wow, your opening imagery is graphic and gripping. Great job. If you want to make your story even stronger,...

Writing Feedbacknizarnasir - Apr 14, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 18, 2009

"Is racism becoming an obstacle in today`s world?" - correct my essay

4 - In our diverse society, racism is facing proving to be one of humankind's major tensions in this day...

Writing Feedbackstudent001 - Apr 16, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 17, 2009

"King of the Jungle - story feedback

5 - thank you for looking over my short story...

Writing Feedbackmeshaal - Apr 14, 2009 / meshaal - Apr 16, 2009

500 word image essay (Black Hair Report)

4 - You seem to be on the right track. Now go into more detail. Why were they "jumping" through the...

Writing Feedbackteelyons - Apr 14, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 16, 2009

"the chase" story

4 - thank you guys, ur really helpful. but Sean can u suggest some better verbs. im really bad at this....

Writing Feedbacknewsha31 - Apr 13, 2009 / newsha31 - Apr 14, 2009

Essay to Compare and Contrast Two members of Your Family

5 - Ahhh!! That is harsh. Parents are people, too. How would you like to have your mom say she...

Writing FeedbackQueenie31 - Apr 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 14, 2009

Psychology Concepts applied to the real world

5 - ...taught them to sew their clothes... She stayed very close to her sister and brought her along so...

Writing Feedbackteelyons - Apr 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 14, 2009

"Who Swims with the Tuna" by Quammen and "Riches of the Sea" by Scully

3 - I think it was David Brin who first pointed out that environmentalists are always only really concerned with creatures...

Writing FeedbackCodyB - Apr 13, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 14, 2009

counselling essay

2 - I would often judge people on assumptions I had been brought up with. Since starting college, I have...

Writing Feedbackkazzy31 - Apr 12, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 13, 2009

Many people regret that they had not attended a university, but none regret that have a degree

4 - Hi adalumi, your topic and mine are the same thing :D essayforum.com/writing/university-career-preparation-self-6375/ I think your essay is...

Writing Feedbackadalumi - Apr 10, 2009 / MonkeyDDragon - Apr 13, 2009

Education Playground -- letters after your name

3 - I got confused when I read this. I realize now that you mean to say "a part of"...

Writing Feedbackzoomdots - Apr 11, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 12, 2009

IELTS ESSAY: lessons with teachers versus others sources

8 - oh,yes,sure it does. i appreciate your help!...

Writing Feedbackeffy_sun - Apr 8, 2009 / effy_sun - Apr 11, 2009

SAT essay: Are people's lives the result of the choices they make?

4 - Thanks ^ ^...

Writing Feedbackkitty Freud - Apr 9, 2009 / kitty Freud - Apr 10, 2009

TOEFL essay: movies - serious or amusing?

11 - If you like Blackadder, you should check out some of Atkinson's stand-up comedy. A few skits are "Mr Bean-ish,"...

Writing Feedbackeric_ly - Apr 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 10, 2009

Something That Changed Me - Becoming a Bully

13 - Yes, six! (Picture me with an amiable yet incredulous expression.) At least, that was my experience. I'm all...

Writing FeedbackANSH729 - Mar 27, 2009 / silverystars - Apr 10, 2009

The individuality, use of machines and traveling for pleasure - essay

7 - Yes, that's what I meant! :)...

Writing FeedbackChidem - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 10, 2009

Apprenticeship Program Aplication

5 - I have been searching for the right program, one that enables me to apply... Don't say 5....

Writing Feedbackangelfight - Apr 9, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 10, 2009

Economic paper: the role of opportunity cost in financial decision making

5 - Like Kevin, I can only guess at your meaning, as a result of unfamiliarity with the subject matter combined...

Writing FeedbackAbby002 - Apr 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 10, 2009

Advertisers, affecting our childs thought process

10 - Overall this is a really well constructed essay. I wonder, though, if you might make a bit stronger if...

Writing Feedbacklilmisha - Apr 3, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 10, 2009

Definition Essay: Building the Blocks, Becoming Successful (The Climb)

3 - "Success" is derived from the Latin word "successus"... You can follow Sean's advice by using a new topic...

Writing Feedbackbhoptl - Apr 8, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 9, 2009

Pushed to hard work-----a positive or negative development?

4 - Yes, as you refine the essay to cover the prompt perfectly, it will be good to add one more...

Writing Feedbackkirin - Apr 8, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 9, 2009

Political Allegory

5 - As you rework this essay, think about how you can move, as you progress from the introduction to the...

Writing Feedbackhannahkim91 - Apr 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 8, 2009

Hypocrisy in the Chrysalids

5 - Your are most welcome!...

Writing Feedbackmacawtopia - Apr 6, 2009 / Rosamond - Apr 8, 2009

It's with God's miracle that human miracles are innovate; Human Mind vs. the Computer

8 - I'm not getting angry. You asked me what grade I would give you, and why. I answered your...

Writing FeedbackRosamond - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 6, 2009

The higher goal the bigger efforts for it. (SAT Essay)

5 - About that thesis, I think you should move this sentence to the end o the first paragraph: People should...

Writing FeedbackGiovane - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 6, 2009

Essay on England's Right to Tax

7 - Hey, you are not being a bother. I did not see this in time to talk about it before...

Writing FeedbackReborn777 - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 6, 2009

Limiting the Use of Dispable Plastic Bags

5 - Chidem and HD, thanks for those great insights. It helps in more ways than you know; it helps me...

Writing Feedbacklenzo537 - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 6, 2009

Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 373)