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Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 432)

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Young people should try different jobs before sticking to one in long-term.

6 - ..For me, as a young peopleperson ....

Writing FeedbackYuking - Dec 9, 2010 / moretolearn - Dec 22, 2010
My political essay on the corrupt release of government information.

3 - If you put "monster" in quotes, it seems like you are actually mocking the idea that he is...

Writing FeedbackGreg555x - Dec 12, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2010
Ielts: Charleen's talent and parent's perspectives

NEW - Q) It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports and music,...

Writing Feedbackriny - Dec 20, 2010 / — -
IELTS the advantages and disadvantages of the prevalent of English

2 - With the development of globalization, English has becomethea dominated language in inter national trades , conferences and many important...

Writing Feedbacksisiyunjao - Dec 12, 2010 / riny - Dec 20, 2010
Studying literature and history is more important than mathematics and science

3 - You write uniquely in the sense that you use commas to make your sentences more terse yet potent. For...

Writing Feedbackbellatsai1030 - Dec 20, 2010 / kiwi1909 - Dec 20, 2010
Discuss the effects of advertising on our lives and give your opinion.

4 - Hey Kevin =). I have been waiting for a long time to have my essay checked on this site...

Writing FeedbackBobur - Dec 7, 2010 / Bobur - Dec 20, 2010
It has become easy to prepare food now days but has this improved our lives?

8 - @kevin,thanks for your helpful comments and advices, i forgot to add those points abt chemical pesticides n other stuff....

Writing Feedbacktas - Dec 7, 2010 / tas - Dec 19, 2010
Living in a big city has various advantages for people

4 - Reservation does not mean what you think it means. :-) Google it! At some point during this...

Writing Feedbacktheworm - Dec 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 18, 2010
China vs USA" - Essay for different cultures

4 - Similarly in the ceremony of the marriage, birthday, and even burial, the entertainment of foods is the theme of...

Writing Feedbackliqunqing - Dec 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 18, 2010
China essay city and country children , discuss

3 - She always tells me about her hometown Please follow me! these differences are as follows i'm chinese, so...

Writing Feedbackcherrysong - Dec 15, 2010 / starwish - Dec 18, 2010
Ielts : Young people's awareness of global issues

4 - i think your essay should focus on young people, for example, they live in a highly polluted environment compared...

Writing Feedbackriny - Dec 2, 2010 / starwish - Dec 18, 2010
Why do we need to study history?

3 - [Link / Image / Video / Quote]

Writing Feedbackriny - Dec 2, 2010 / starwish - Dec 18, 2010
People today are not as friendly as people were in the past.

4 - I don't think it is good to use "In the 21th century" in your beginning, I use it a...

Writing FeedbackXUHAN - Dec 2, 2010 / starwish - Dec 18, 2010
Improving public health: sport places and importance of health

3 - thanks a lot, you are right, i do not present any good ideas, because it is just for IELTS...

Writing Feedbackvanliuwei - Nov 30, 2010 / vanliuwei - Dec 17, 2010
Describing my partner, Khalid (my best classmate)

3 - I'll change this comma to a period: He is older than me. He is 21 years old. He is...

Writing Feedbackweezy - Dec 3, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2010
Technology, the social life killer or saviour?

3 - They are not destroying a social network. They are improving the communication capabilities in our social networks. But I...

Writing FeedbackRobD - Dec 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2010
SAT essay! Where do I see myself when I am 22. Need grammar help.

4 - As dogs are a huge part of my life I will have at least two dogs of my own....

Writing FeedbackMLE27 - Dec 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2010
Importance of working conditions? Focus on products or working conditions?

3 - In the first paragraph, the words "benefit" and "product" should both probably have an s at the end. However,...

Writing Feedbackhoangdaochu - Nov 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2010
It takes a village to raise a child; children education for the community

3 - Very good feedback :-). Point noted, especially about the "etc." bit. Thanks a lot....

Writing Feedbacksubhash_ghosh - Dec 13, 2010 / subhash_ghosh - Dec 16, 2010
Toefl essay:Parents are the best teachers.

2 - the first sentence could be " Parent are best teachers to person instead of people, parent are best teachers...

Writing Feedbackpk1726 - Dec 16, 2010 / tunguoge - Dec 16, 2010
I will be someone someday as my father wanted me to!

NEW - Tut Gai 11/22/1980 Essays Topic B Under tree classroom My parents were cattle headers and farmers neither of...

Writing Feedbacktunguoge - Dec 16, 2010 / — -
The thriving Cold Cone Creamery Franchise in California

2 - The speaker avers that Cold Cone Creamery Business will... Also, the statement further prompts people to avail themselves...

Writing Feedbacksubhash_ghosh - Dec 13, 2010 / EF_Susan - Dec 15, 2010
"the weather seemed more predictable from year to year" - Global Warming Essay

2 - The occurrence of natural disasters has increased, and seasonal weather has become irregular. There are two sides to...

Writing Feedbackdanielle94534 - Dec 13, 2010 / EF_Susan - Dec 15, 2010
India's Possible Rise in the 21st Century above the West - Globalization Paper

2 - Like the former globalization, it also depends on the cheap labor of Indians, and like it, there is still...

Writing Feedbackjyu104 - Dec 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 14, 2010
Compare the advantages and disadvantages of media for communicating information

2 - Media per se is a powerful communicating tool for human beings. ---This sentence is obvious, and obvious things are...

Writing Feedbackpsebastian56 - Dec 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 14, 2010
"Undecided girl can dream" - College essay

NEW - Every seven-year-old girl has a dream. Some want to be princesses, a few may want to be cowgirls or...

Writing Feedbacksoccer123 - Dec 13, 2010 / — -
ILLEGAL ENTRANCE - An Incident From my Life

3 - great help men thanks a lot !...

Writing Feedbackmertak - Nov 25, 2010 / mertak - Dec 13, 2010
"Does a zoo have any useful purpose?"

5 - azaaza is a good writer, haaa Beside a zoo has educational benefit also it has amusing and entertaining...

Writing Feedbackabdrabou - Dec 4, 2010 / andygu - Dec 13, 2010
TOEFL: Boys and girls should attend separate schools

11 - Thank you Bobur. I'll do my best the next time....

Writing FeedbackSiva071 - Dec 1, 2010 / NIBEK - Dec 12, 2010
"work nowadays is more stressful and less leisurely than in the past" IELTS essay two

10 - psebastian56 However, it does not relive the current stressful working situation that may change the attitude of the people...

Writing Feedbacksisiyunjao - Dec 6, 2010 / sisiyunjao - Dec 11, 2010
Essay about children's changes in eating habits

3 - You can say it is your opinion without using 1st person like I or my. Since the prompt is...

Writing Feedbackmelita - Nov 23, 2010 / jennay99 - Dec 10, 2010
The importance of students' sports activities

3 - However, universities should give more money to students' sports activities than they give to their university libraries. Students will...

Writing Feedbackwhitney - Nov 27, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 10, 2010
My Little 'Buddha'

6 - Like Buddha who even didn't speak a word against the pundit,mM y player did not respondkept calm in response...

Writing Feedbackdhunjunikesh - Dec 7, 2010 / dumi - Dec 9, 2010
"the obesity epidemic in America" - Anthropology Essay

NEW - "I couldn't open up a magazine, you couldn't read a newspaper, you couldn't turn on the TV without hearing...

Writing Feedbackalswn95 - Dec 9, 2010 / — -
"Where is the Line Defined?" - Argumentative Essay-no OUTSIDE SOURCES!

3 - At the end of the first paragraph I am wondering why this is worth writing about. It would...

Writing Feedbackericao2010 - Nov 26, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 9, 2010
Reiterate: this is the utopia.

NEW - The concept of an utopia that embedded in my heart is a place that is repleted with the collaboration...

Writing FeedbackMobimobipopo - Dec 8, 2010 / — -
"The attraction of New York City" - A meaningful Place

7 - My most favorite place has ... In order to stay on topic, you need to establish a topic...

Writing FeedbackKathyLala - Nov 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 7, 2010
It's neither possible nor desirable to do the same job throughout work lives - IELTS

4 - thank you so so much!!!! CHONG :)...

Writing Feedbacksweetheart87 - Nov 23, 2010 / sweetheart87 - Dec 7, 2010
what causes students to cheat on the tests?

3 - Hi again...i think, while using the word 'Consequently', you'd better aviod asking questions. In conclusion part you should give...

Writing Feedbackazaaza - Dec 6, 2010 / Bobur - Dec 7, 2010
People are starving, but money is spent on pets

4 - This is a great thread! Thanks, everyone....

Writing Feedbacktuanphong892009 - Nov 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 5, 2010
9/11 and Art Essay: Revise/Edit what i have so far.

2 - Songs were written. Paintings were painted. Poems were recited. Photos and videos were taken. This whole sentence has...

Writing Feedbackcaudet89 - Nov 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 5, 2010
Importance of One Parent Stay Home with Their Young Children For The First Few Years

2 - Today, young people in every part of the world hope to have successful success in their jobs ....

Writing Feedbackthunguyen88 - Nov 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 5, 2010
"the percentage of each source of energy used in America" IELTS Writing task 1

NEW - The given two graphs illustrate the percentage of each source of energy used in America during the period of...

Writing Feedbackmoondikasina - Dec 5, 2010 / — -
About "climate change and Fossil fuels" - what is causing climate change, human role

NEW - Examine the role of one human activity in causing climate change, and discuss how further deterioration may be prevented...

Writing Feedbackwsyzoscar - Dec 5, 2010 / — -
Essay about concerns with education; students not learning helpful material- feedback

2 - Education is one of my personal concerns. ----boring first sentence... not much meaning. It is just informative. "I...

Writing Feedbackleesharshukov - Nov 29, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 4, 2010
Essay about proving that experience is greater than books. - Feedback

2 - We try to use gender-inclusive sentences, here, so if you are going to address sirs address madams, too!...

Writing FeedbackEssayfreak - Nov 27, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 3, 2010
"Forget How to Remember" - College Essay Idea Rough Draft

2 - ...began to stir up a wind every time they passed me. It was a wind so strong, it lifted...

Writing FeedbackD Kneco - Nov 27, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 3, 2010
Some want independence and some prefer to live with thier families ,which you prefer?

2 - You should practice typinf each of these sentences 10 times so that you remember the correct grammar: Nowadays...

Writing Feedbackvaishali1980 - Nov 26, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 3, 2010
In Barnaul youth will be interested in theatre

2 - Creative group "Project-41", working on base of «Regional palace of youth", has begun preparation of socially significant PR-project "Theatrical...

Writing Feedbacknathalie1912 - Nov 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 3, 2010
"there is more to life than just reality TV shows" -Argumentative Paper on Television

2 - So the outline of your paper is: Introduction: points to why it is bad to watch TV Body 1:...

Writing Feedbackkangi - Dec 3, 2010 / Cloud_Tek9 - Dec 3, 2010
Drawbacks of unpaid work and recommendations to improve it.

2 - Along with the enthusiasm that a person gets, there may also be existing unfavorable conditions. in line with this,...

Writing Feedbackbrenda - Nov 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 2, 2010
The advantages of pursuing dreams rather than giving up on them - TEOFL

2 - human is a single person so you should use human being or use a human 'but my...

Writing Feedbackjasminebi - Dec 1, 2010 / vaishali1980 - Dec 2, 2010
Classify TV programs - classification essay type

2 - 'Entertainment is the most favorite for many people' you can use this sentence as ' Many people watch TV...

Writing Feedbackthaitam - Dec 1, 2010 / vaishali1980 - Dec 2, 2010
Ielts essay; I believe that companies' changing employees is acceptable.

3 - The fourth paragraph is similar to second one. My suggestion is that you can conbine both in one paragragh....

Writing Feedbackphuocqui - Nov 27, 2010 / riny - Dec 2, 2010
'younger need thrill in their life' - young people enjoy life more than older

2 - they lost interest in learning new things and experienced about thrill. Older people thinks try to accomplish...

Writing Feedbackvaishali1980 - Dec 2, 2010 / riny - Dec 2, 2010
''The critical analysis of being an international manager'' - compare cultures

4 - The role of an international manager requires involves several requirements. In this essay I will like explain...

Writing FeedbackFaiza79 - Nov 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Dec 1, 2010
The meaning of success is complex and individuals define it to suit their personal achievements

2 - The genuine meaning of success is complex and individuals define it to suit their personal achievements. Success can simply...

Writing Feedbackmdipeolu - Nov 30, 2010 / kawaiikoinu - Nov 30, 2010
The knowledge we acquire outside of school is the most important.

2 - Nowadays, there are two opinions concernedconcerning the importance of school. [ Some hold that our most important lessons are...

Writing Feedbackwhitney - Nov 28, 2010 / kawaiikoinu - Nov 30, 2010
Does the development of technology lead to environmental pollution and energy crisis?

2 - I think your essay is a bit harsh...it sounds like you think science and technology is (maybe a bit...

Writing Feedbackseiya152 - Nov 23, 2010 / elisabeths - Nov 30, 2010
Filling the Gap: Legalizing Organ Trade (Persuasive Essay)

2 - Only about 20,000 received them that year, while over 7,000 people died when new organs would have saved them....

Writing FeedbackFlying_Pie - Nov 23, 2010 / EF_Susan - Nov 30, 2010

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