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Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 444)

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Traffic congestion and ways to reduce it - Compare paragraph - What's better?

5 - In my country, people often struggle for position while driving and don't stay in their lanes so that everything...

Writing Feedbackmabu9669 - Jun 14, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 20, 2010
NARRATIVE PAPER: on a lesson learned (sports). Question on comma placement.

2 - You can always make writing more powerful if you express the same size idea in fewer words: Many of...

Writing Feedbackrod606 - Jun 19, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 20, 2010
Car has helped people a lot, but the negative effects of automobile exceed the positive effects

2 - i think the first line can be rewritten as "It is obvious that the automobile is one of the...

Writing Feedbacklamktqd - Jun 19, 2010 / ershad193 - Jun 20, 2010
GRE AW ISSUE hunger, unemployment vs art

2 - The speaker asserts that using public resources to support the arts is unjustifiable when starvation and unemployment exist in...

Writing Feedbackjadetang - Jun 17, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 19, 2010
TOEFL: WHICH KIND OF WORKER WOULD YOU HIRE?

5 - OK, thanks a lot!!! now my doubts disappear......

Writing Feedbackmayenlu - Jun 15, 2010 / mayenlu - Jun 18, 2010
TV & Movies have many good influences on peoples' behavior

4 - Thanks silkesha Might be I am incorporate with my native language marathi. thanks for suggestion. I will...

Writing Feedbackvaishali1980 - Jun 17, 2010 / vaishali1980 - Jun 18, 2010
Valuing of past is a must; shorten getting knowledge time, avoiding mistakes

3 - Hi all, I am intending to take the.. ...and it inspires us in our daily lives. Learning...

Writing Feedbackwraith - Jun 16, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 17, 2010
Positive and negative aspects of globalization - two-edged sword

3 - Great corrections here! Proof is a noun, so you need prove instead as a verb. The facts...

Writing Feedbackcathyliu - Jun 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 17, 2010
ielts "When people break the traditions of their predecessors they advance more"

3 - Making Taking the next step of development creates a need to put aside traditional culture and experience. Cross-cultural...

Writing Feedbacklorena - Jun 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 16, 2010
As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work (job satisfaction)

2 - Name_Here did a great thing here, like usual. I know how tedious it is to make those corrections, so......

Writing Feedbackinderjeet - Jun 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 16, 2010
TOEFL:I strongly agree that government should improve public transportation

3 - First of all, a perfect public transporttransportation system can help people to save many time, they do not waste...

Writing Feedbackkevinhsin1124 - Jun 15, 2010 / cathyliu - Jun 16, 2010
TOEFL- Violent Media

6 - Hi Nesreen, Sorry for upseting you. I just thought to correct your essay first. As you have written...

Writing FeedbackNesreen - Jun 14, 2010 / renga78 - Jun 15, 2010
Leisure time: spend it outdoors or indoors?

8 - I think adding their is better because there are too much or in the sentence. Everyone has his...

Writing FeedbackNesreen - May 28, 2010 / jjinko - Jun 15, 2010
The amount of money per week spend on fast foods in Britain - IELTS Task 1 essay

3 - The graph shows the expense per week on junk food in Britain. The graph shows the amount of money...

Writing Feedbackanggra_88 - Jun 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 15, 2010
"There are no challenges so difficult, no goals so impossibe" - the english comp

3 - You should use the word "often," because obviously some people do set high goals. I feel that people...

Writing Feedbackrachel d - Jun 14, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 15, 2010
Using machines is very helpful because you can save time and effort

3 - Actually, I want to be clear about this... I am not involved in any of these writing tests...

Writing Feedbackmayenlu - Jun 11, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 15, 2010
What must we do to truly understand ourselves?

4 - Eyes -what a miracle miraculous part of one's body. Yes, like Noto said, use "they" They are...

Writing FeedbackLauratwilight - Jun 13, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 15, 2010
First of all, a healthy mental and body is prerequisite to succeed - TOEFL

5 - thx everyone!! I am very appreciate that. i have a TOEFL test on 6/26, i will try my...

Writing Feedbackkevinhsin1124 - Jun 13, 2010 / kevinhsin1124 - Jun 15, 2010
"I bet she's a tramp" - my English FINAL.

3 - When I saw that risqué title, I thought to myself, "This person has to be able to write very...

Writing Feedbackclarerawr - Jun 13, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 14, 2010
Classmates vs parents; 'Teaching is the exalted duty than anyone could take'

2 - Hi, The topic is about child's success in school. When you focus on children and school, you can...

Writing FeedbackNesreen - Jun 13, 2010 / renga78 - Jun 13, 2010
History leads us to the bright destination in the ocean of social development and revolution

6 - EF_Kevin many many thanks. I think what we have a agreement on is the topic is so...

Writing Feedbackjadetang - Jun 9, 2010 / jadetang - Jun 13, 2010
Required attendance in college or university classes.

6 - I reccomend you change up the transitions between paragraphs. "First ... Second ... Finally ..." Is so .. boring....

Writing Feedbackbabyevy - May 27, 2010 / LehFoxeh - Jun 12, 2010
Okay, "Karate Kid" is one more film that confirms my hunch -- movies suck nowadays

2 - Thank you!! I can't believe there is another karate kid movie. I love Jackie Chan, though, and I love...

Writing FeedbackMustafa1991 - Jun 12, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 12, 2010
IELTS ESSAY: Internet and communication

3 - I would like to state the benefits of the internet in communication and the difference between the internet and...

Writing Feedbacklin54390 - Jun 11, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 12, 2010
History -- A waste of time? 'meaning of a Microprocessor'

2 - You can say this in a way that does not involve mentioning evolution. Evolutionary Theory teaches us what...

Writing Feedbacksilkesha - Jun 11, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 12, 2010
How successfully does the writer of "Climate Change: The facts"...

3 - Today global warming has become a political hot... When wrting about a reading, use the present verb tense...

Writing FeedbackSunazero - Jun 10, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 11, 2010
TOEFL: Living in a big city has many merit and some disadvantages!

7 - No!! You are correct, I intended to fix that but somehow did not fix it: This is okay...

Writing Feedbackkevinhsin1124 - Jun 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 11, 2010
gaining knowledge/ More job opportunities; Reasons behind attending universities

6 - No, no, I was trying to say that it is better, much better. I saw that you...

Writing FeedbackNesreen - Jun 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 11, 2010
Ungraded classrooms, which consist of students grouped by level of achievement

2 - In the second paragraph, the following statement doesn't go well... Although age matter for the development of the brain,...

Writing Feedbackshalini singh - Jun 10, 2010 / silkesha - Jun 11, 2010
the internet is contributing to the breakdown of family relationship

5 - Make the introduction part a bit interesting! Use some catchy statements and also a few thoughts or phrases...i feel,...

Writing FeedbackALICE K - Jun 6, 2010 / silkesha - Jun 11, 2010
Short Essay on High School Scholarship Program

5 - That's funny... yeah, when you have big success with a brilliant online business, you'll have 50K to donate. ...

Writing Feedbacknorthernlight - Jun 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 10, 2010
Treatment of Illegal Immagrants - U.S. versus Mexico

4 - Do you mean "lose the reader?"...

Writing FeedbackPaula6 - Jun 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 10, 2010
BARRON'S TOEFL "Advances in transportation and communication"

2 - You need a comma here: acquired to human beings society all over the globe, and that... Capitalize Internet....

Writing FeedbackNohna - Jun 8, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 10, 2010
GRE: "All nations should help support the development of a global university"

2 - Here is another idea: In Today, a global university seems to be another Tower of Babel, because...

Writing Feedbackjadetang - Jun 8, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 10, 2010
"An experience you have had that involves controversy" - Narrative Argument

3 - This is such a powerful sentence. Also, the notion of untouchables at the school is powerful. You are...

Writing FeedbackEcho1334 - Jun 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 10, 2010
BARRON'S TOEFL IBT BOOK "learning a foreign language"

4 - Yep, at this point in your practice, Nohna, I think you should use sentences that are not too long...

Writing FeedbackNohna - Jun 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 10, 2010
Government should not limit scientific studies and growth

4 - I appreciate your great suggestions! Thank you very much!...

Writing FeedbackLew chuang - Jun 7, 2010 / Lew chuang - Jun 10, 2010
TOEFL essay -Monumental Gifts

7 - The word "plenty" is not the same as many, but the way you use it makes me think...

Writing Feedbackkovcastle - Jun 3, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 8, 2010
Term paper about Christ Figure in literature

3 - Above, I made some slight changes and added some parenthesis to help the clarity. I see that...

Writing FeedbackKingdom10 - Jun 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 8, 2010
I think there is too much violence in movies.

6 - Thanks for comments, Yonman. Regarding your question, I do not need to support the reason with a realible...

Writing FeedbackAzeri - Jun 6, 2010 / Azeri - Jun 8, 2010
Some students prefer to study alone - TOEFL Question

9 - I like your writing style. I like to study alone by the way because I can focus better! :)...

Writing FeedbackNesreen - Jun 2, 2010 / yonman - Jun 7, 2010
three battles significant in evoving canada as an independant country

6 - Thank you sooooooooooo much Kevin that was SOOOOOO much help im finished my conclusion now all thanks to you...

Writing Feedbackosma - Jun 5, 2010 / osma - Jun 7, 2010
Do-Gooders need to let us decide (the three risky behaviors), rough draft

2 - ...not be hurt in any way. --- use 2 words "any way" not one word. I agree with...

Writing Feedbackreeseinskool - Jun 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 7, 2010
How should I describe all types of graphs,diagrams or charts?

8 - Now that I am looking at my description, I can see that I've made some spelling errors. The point...

Writing FeedbackMarutza - May 28, 2010 / Marutza - Jun 7, 2010
IELTS Writing-Topic about TV, book, radio

4 - Hi Jet, In my openion, starting with the word civilization is compatable with mentioning some historical facts about...

Writing Feedbackjetzhu - Jun 6, 2010 / Nohna - Jun 7, 2010
The College Experience: Exemplification Essay On College Life

2 - Some believe a 5 hour energy will do-- this will confuse some people. It is a proper noun, so...

Writing Feedbackamc2286 - Jun 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 6, 2010
"global warming will result to numerous changes" - essay needs editing

4 - thank you so much! i really appreciate it!...

Writing Feedbacksothenkikisaid - Jun 6, 2010 / sothenkikisaid - Jun 6, 2010
IELTS task 2 : Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood.

9 - my suggest is that you can write about 3 sentences in first paragraph to support both sides. Make your...

Writing Feedbackwilly0123 - May 20, 2010 / mabu9669 - Jun 6, 2010
childrens eating habits nowadays are different from previous generation

2 - Nowadays, children's eating habits lead them to heath deterioration.I entirely agree with this view and believe that this alarming...

Writing Feedbacksheina - Jun 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 5, 2010
The main function of university

3 - Use capital letters to start each sentence: Some people think that university should provide graduates with the knowledge...

Writing Feedbacknoorahan - Jun 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 5, 2010
Focus on creative expression should be given importance or not ?

5 - In academic writing, you never have to say said that ,"blah blah...." William Shakespeare once said, that "An objective...

Writing Feedbackshalini singh - Jun 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 5, 2010
IELTS taks 2 essay: computer has negative effects to children

6 - Well, the thesis statement should answer in a single sentence the question that the essay is trying to...

Writing Feedbackdungpvt2004 - Jun 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 5, 2010
Computers affect society - CLEP English Comp Practice

3 - This is a compound sentence that needs a comma: Many things have changed over the years , but one...

Writing Feedbackoperalady - Jun 2, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 5, 2010
IELTS writing task two>Compare the advantage vs. disadvantage of three media

3 - In nowadays modern society, there are plenty of different media to spread information and knowledge. Here I am...

Writing Feedbackssachsieh - Jun 2, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 5, 2010
What I like apart from having fun.

3 - Thank you.It's as if you was on my mind.I,m looking forward into releasing anathor thread....

Writing FeedbackCharz - Jun 2, 2010 / Charz - Jun 4, 2010
TOEFL: NEWS ABOUT CELEBRITIES

7 - hi~~ Nowadays, it is very easy to hear the news about the personal lives of famous people such as...

Writing Feedbackhatung94 - Jun 1, 2010 / kevinhsin1124 - Jun 4, 2010
Equal number of students:IETLS essay

4 - the indispensable role of education in a man's life cannot be overlooked: i meant to talk about importance of...

Writing FeedbackaJ_M_65 - May 18, 2010 / aJ_M_65 - Jun 4, 2010
comparison between 5 countries, asking about Ielts writing task one

3 - thank you very much...

Writing Feedbackrashahanna - Jun 1, 2010 / rashahanna - Jun 4, 2010
SAT essay: Is censorship sometimes justifiable?

10 - Hi Jesslyn, I became a fan of your writing. I read your other posts. It was very interesting...

Writing Feedbackpuroodsy - May 20, 2010 / renga78 - Jun 4, 2010
In some countries at the age of 18 young people are allowed to drive, vote and mar

5 - In some nations, it is common that, young people at around 18 years are allowed to vote, drive and...

Writing Feedbackrenga78 - Jun 2, 2010 / phuocqui - Jun 3, 2010

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