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Abilities of the headland to resist the erosion; IELTS writing


thelastpolaris 1 / 1  
Jul 17, 2015   #1
The diagrams illustrate how the headland is being erosed by the water that surrounds it.
At first, erosion starts with the small hole in the bottom of the headland, called weak area because of its fragility and incompetence to restrain the force of the tide. Consequently, tides continue to wipe the cave, greatly expanding it and changing it's form into the arch. Durdle Door in Dorset can be used as a great example of the arch, caused by the erosion.

As the waves continue to beat the headland, the roof stack is being collapsed and the headland breaks into two separate parts. Eventually, the beginning of the former headland called stump is being almost completely eradicated while the stack is being half-sized. The process of the erosion is finished when the headland finally retreats.

Mainly, the ability of the headland to resist the erosion depends on the presence of the weak areas in the bottom of it.




lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Jul 17, 2015   #2
I can help to assist you with feedback on your analysis of your diagram. First, change erosed to eroded. You need to add the word "the" before weak area.

There is a misuse of it's. Change it's to "its" because you are describing the arch, and change the arch to "an arch".

When you describe the roof stack, there is a minor error. You change your tense from the present to the past. You should simply state: "rock stack collapses".

Remember to use "the" after "called" when you are describing the terms. Also, delete the word "being". When you mention half-sized, it can be confusing. The diagram shows how it is ripped in half or breaks apart. This will help your reader to understand your description better.

You have a really good description! Yet, I think you could describe that the end of the erosion results in the stack and stump separating completely from the headland. I think this is just one minor detail that is missing because these are parts of the headland that retreat.
OP thelastpolaris 1 / 1  
Jul 17, 2015   #3
Thanks a lot for such a thorough review!

Sometimes I make silly mistakes like "it's" and forget about the articles. This essay was very hard for me to write because I didn't know what words to use to describe all the stages. As a result, I've written only a little bit more than 150 words.

Regards, Artem


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