Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


TOEFL: Ability to read and write - today, those basic skills make society more comfort for living.


Zoriana 2 / 2 4  
Dec 6, 2014   #1
Is the ability to read and write more important today than in the past? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Through centuries the ability to read and write was the basic skill of any intelligent person though it was not necessary in different circumstances. Due to the technological breakthrough, aforementioned abilities have become a vital characteristic of not just clever man but free and independent personality as well. Therefore, from my point of view, nowadays, eagerness to read and write perfectly is more important than it was any time before. The reasons for this position are provided below.

First of all, ability to read and write indicates person's intellectual level. If one is able to read and analyze stories from newspapers and magazines, he or she stimulates his or her personal development. Today, when the whole world immersed in the information revolution, data is everywhere. Without reading and learning, it is difficult to discover daily news, orientate in the environment or even find highly paid job. As follows, ability to read and write is an integral feature of a successful person.

Secondly, in the past, tyrannical governments were not likely to facilitate human literacy because it would cause raise in human consciousness. Usually, "intelligent people" means "free people" who have articulated position and are aware of their rights. For example, in some tyrannical countries in the contemporary world it is much easier to intimidate people as they usually do not have an opportunity to attend schools or other educational establishments and do not know how to defend themselves.

All things considered, a person who learns to read and write improves his or her possibility to be engaged into the civil processes, be successful and competent. Today, those basic skills make society more comfort for living. Moreover, with people growing, society becomes more civilized contributing to human legal awareness and efficient education system.

Zoriana SemehenĀ©
MarianaS 5 / 14 8  
Dec 6, 2014   #2
Therefore, from my point of view, nowadays, eagernessability to read and write perfectly is more important than it was any time before.

First of all, ability to read and write indicates person's intellectual level. If one is able to read and analyze stories from newspapers and magazines, he or she stimulates his or her personal development. Today, when the whole world immersed in the information revolution, data is everywhere. Without reading and learning, it is difficult to discover daily news, orientate in the environment or even find highly paid job. As follows, ability to read and write is an integral feature of a successful person.

I am not sure that the last sentence of this body paragraph correlates well with its topic sentence. Try to illustrate the idea about dependance of a person's intellectual level by more relevant example or rephrase the first sentence of this passage.

Secondly, in the past, tyrannical governments were not likely to facilitate human literacy because it would cause raise in human consciousness.

Try to write this statement in more "general way". In my opinion, this one is more suitable for illustration of what was said before.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Dec 6, 2014   #3
In the second paragraph where you discuss the tyrannical governments, you need to add more supporting evidence in order to make it effective and believable. Try to present the way that social media (twitter, facebook, etc.) all of which require the ability to read and write have helped to bring freedom to people and topple unfair or unpopular governments.

Your conclusion also needs work. What you presented as a conclusion was actually a new paragraph with new ideas presented. As you know, the conclusion cannot contain new ideas, only a summary of the prompt, the summary of facts, and a reiteration of the point of view reflected in the essay. You will need to fix the conclusion in order to create a more effective ending for your essay.
thanhtam_tma 2 / 3  
Dec 7, 2014   #4
In the body, if you use the phrase "First of all" then you should use "Second of all", not "secondly", or you can use "Firstly" and "Secondly".

I agree with Vangiespen about the conclusion which you should summarize or paraphrase your main points and do not contain any new ideas.


Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Ability to read and write - today, those basic skills make society more comfort for living.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳