Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
relying on a single skill doesn't lead to success
Without a shadow of doubt, the skill of communication has played a prominent role in every individual's life. Some people are the leading proponents of the claim that being able to relate to others is the most important factor in achieving success in life; however, others hold the opposite perspective and believe that although the communication skills are important, one cannot achieve success, merely by relying on that. The idea to which i subscribe is the latter one. My point of view is based on quite a few reasons, two of which have been elaborated upon hereunder.
The first vital point to bear in mind is that to be potentially successful we should be an artist. Moreover, an artist is not someone who draws, sculpts, and so on. An artist is someone who is creative and able to make things by the knowledge he gained in the university by studying hard. Furthermore, not only can this creative person see and make things in a manner that others cannot but also he can make a difference in people's lives. As a result, it is really hard, not to notice someone's creativity in his body of work. A case in point is my brother who is a scientist and one of his most conspicuous characteristics is being shy. Although he always refrained of talking to strangers and even his own coworkers, everyone in his workplace wanted to cooperate with him in a project. The reason was simple, because they all knew that he always puts his knowledge into use and after combining it with his creativity, he comes up with new ideas and solutions.
The second noteworthy reason to bear in mind is that no matter what we do, do we not be persevere enough in it, we would not have the chance to triumph over the difficulties we are dealing with. Furthermore, it is only by studying hard in the university that we can actually understand the impediments we are facing and only then we can think about solving that specific issue. Additionally, it is of likelihood that whatever job we get, we would be in the situations, in which we cannot talk our way out of it, yet should we work hard, we would have the chance to overcome that plight against all the odds. For instance, I can remember the time that I was getting prepared to participate in the entrance exam of the university. I was studying all day long and even ended up staying awake at nights, for needed to study even more. This situation continued for almost a year, but at the end, I succeeded at getting accepted in the major that I want in my most favorite university.
In short, all the aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that, success does not come solely by relying on a single skill, but by using a couple of skills in corporation with each other. As a consequent, although someone who communicates well with other has an advantage of getting acquainted with others, he would not be able to impress them, unless he had something more to offer. Moreover, I suggest students survey the features of the most influential people through the history when they are still in the school and see how capable they really were, in different domains which gave them the ability to make the most determining decisions and change the history.@shahabs1992
Welcome to the forum! I hope that my feedback gives you an idea on how to improve your writing.
There's a very thin line between creative and excessive when it comes to writing. More often than not, you are sacrificing clarity when you're being excessive. This is something that I have observed from your essay. For instance, while the first paragraph is indubitably well-written because you articulated beautifully, this essay isn't necessarily a literary text (prose/poem). In that regard, you have to be extra cautious as you may risk being overlooked rather than being paid attention to.
When introducing concepts, simplifying it would be the most reliable way to go. Especially when you're introducing newer concepts that are integral for the core message of your content, you definitely need to focus more on the meaning than how you are writing it. If we take a look at the second paragraph, for instance, it was clear that your explanation of who an artist is still appears to be confusing due to the articulation.
Bear all of these opinions in mind next time you are writing.