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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1 : Adult Education (Pie graphs)


kokett 1 / 1  
Jul 4, 2013   #1
The bar chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study while the pie graphs indicates how people think the costs of adult education should be shared.

According to the first graph, interest in subject and to gain qualifications are the most popular reasons with 40% and 38% while to able to change job and meeting people are the last populars with 12% and 9%, respectively. Around 20 % of people want to be helpful for current job, to improve prospects and promotion or they enjoy studying.

As it can be seen in the pie chart, people think that they should pay 40% of the costs invidual while employers pay 35% of it. Taxpayers should be responsible for the rest of the costs.

All in all, it is obvious that most of adults want to study just for interest and pay most of the education fee invidual.

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Thank you for comments.

I am preparing for IELTS exam. I should have at least 6.5..




dumi 1 / 6,933 1592  
Jul 4, 2013   #2
The bar chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study while the pie graphs indicates how people think the costs of adult education should be shared.

The bar chart illustrates the reasons for adults deciding to study while the pie graphs show how the cost of each course should be shared.

According to the first graph, interest in subject and to gain qualifications are the most popular reasons with 40% and 38% while to able to change job and meeting people are thelast popularsleast popular with 12% and 9%, respectively.

... it's better if you broke this sentence into two to contain those trends separately;
According to the bar chart, the most popular reasons for adults deciding to study had been their interest in subject and desire for gaining qualifications. While 40% of the adults had the interest for subject, 38% of them did studies in hope of gaining qualifications. Least popular reasons had been changing the current job and meeting people and these reasons had 12% and 9% of the adults who participated in the survey.
OP kokett 1 / 1  
Jul 4, 2013   #3
Woow! It is really better. thank you so much..
mangdoli 5 / 12 3  
Jul 9, 2013   #4
In introductory paragraph, you should paraphrase the sentences. For example: show=illustrate=indicate=point out... If you copy the instruction of the question, your score may be degraded


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