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IELTS Academic writing task 2: The advantages and disadvantages of living in a large city

ta manh 2401 1 / -  
Jul 23, 2021   #1

immigration to metropolises

As the trend of mass immigration to metropolises continues, questions have been raised over whether cities really offer people more opportunities for a better life. While there are many grounds to believe that urban areas provide their citizens with various benefits, it can be equally argued that they also bring about several discomforts to those living there.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that settlement in major cities is highly advantageous. The most notable merit is that there is ample job opportunity available in these regions. As metropolitan areas attract a diversity of businesses and industries, their residents are granted career chances in various fields suitable for their ability and ambition. As a result, they are more likely to develop in their chosen profession and achieve success. In addition, in terms of social life, it is apparent that urbanites can enjoy innumerable forms of entertainment and conveniences due to the up-to-date infrastructure as well as advanced technology available in central cities. Hence, they are able to unwind after a hefty day or given a moment away from the hustle and bustle of life. Thanks to those modern urban features, people can accomplish work-life balance and enjoy a fulfilling life.

On the other hand, despite all arguments in favor of city life, there is a strong case being made regarding its downsides. First and foremost, while there are various opportunities for job hunting, it seems to be insufficient in comparison to the ever-increasing population of these places. For this reason, competition for a well-paid or favorable position in any career is becoming more challenging than before. As a consequence, many people here are prone to be stuck with a humble, nine-to-five dead-end job because there is little chance for them to get another job soon enough to afford their housing and cost of living. Moreover, the harsh reality of competition in cities hinders residents from taking a break or having some time off despite having been provided with multiple ways of entertainment. Therefore, it is no surprise that life in the metropolis tends to lead to stress and overpressure.

By and large, while the advantages of living in cities are beyond doubt, one should also bear in mind the burden that comes along.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,217 4648  
Jul 24, 2021   #2
The essay is almost 400 words. A word count that cannot be presented within 40 minutes if writing within scoring requirements are considered. If the writer had reviewed the essay prompt, he would have seen that the presentation that was developed does not meet all of the prompt requirements The writing instruction needs to discuss the advantage and disadvantage of the topic.

Nowhere in the original presentation was the writer asked to provide an opinion. By offering an opinion in 2 sections of the essay (prompt paraphrase and concluding paraphrase) the essay creates a partial discussion deviation that negatively affects the overall score. The A / D should have been discussed without the writer trying to influence the reader's decision as that was not part of the discussion instruction.

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