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IELTS Academic writing - Advertising expenditure breakdown

Javid27 1 / 1  
Sep 18, 2017   #1

how many funds companies spent on advertising?

The table below shows a breakdown of companies advertising expenditure in different media sectors in three countries (Australia, South Korea and Brazil). Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph illustrates the percentage of spending in an advertisement of companies from Australia, Korea and Brazil.

Overall, Television advertisement has the most percentage wherein companies spend to popularize their products. On the contrary, Direct Mail has the least expenditure when percentage were totaled from all the 3 countries.

Companies from Brazil spend mainly on television in their advertisement with 61%, which is more than half of the value of the other forms. Although both Australia and Korea have television as their top expenditure, its percentage is not far enough from the value of newspaper and radio, which are all between 20-30%.

Direct mail is the kind of advertisement that the 3 countries does not spend much. Brazil, mainly, spends the smallest on this form with only 1%. Meanwhile, Australia has sponsorship and direct mail, both with 8%, as the least percentage of expenditure. On the other hand, Korea does not spend much on the internet as compared to other forms of advertisement with only 6% allocated on it. Direct mail and sponsorship have both 12% making them the second least of allocation for advertisement in Korea.

(186 words)

All comments are welcome! Thank you!!

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,631 2518  
Sep 19, 2017   #2
Marnelee, it is common practice, no, it is expected, of the students that wish to benefit from a professional IELTS review at this forum to upload the image that accompanies the prompt you are responding to. Since I do not have access to the image and you only posted the prompt, I have no way of considering your work in accordance with the provided image. Please remember to upload the image with your next essay as you only get one professional review for your work per thread. In the meantime, let me point out the obvious problems with your essay.

The TA portion of your presentation falls short of the expected information. That should have a proper summary of the prompt for discussion, an outline of the upcoming presentation, the instructions for the discussion, and finally, the trending information (when required or possible). Without these information in the summary overview, that comprises the TA considerations, your essay will have a hard time getting a passing score from the very start.

Try to avoid creating run-on sentences by using periods instead of commas in the presentation. You need to make sure that you present the minimum 3 sentence requirement per paragraph. By creating a continuous flow of thought instead of individual discussion sentences, you create a possible lowering of your C&C and GRA score. You need to show the examiner that you can create proper English sentences instead of long sentences that combine information. Expanding is always better than summarizing in this case. Present each sentence as factual instead of continuing presentations.

Writing 186 words will help your score but the problems that you presentation faces creates some low scoring considerations for you. If you can address those points in your next test, you should be able to improve your final, overall score.
OP Javid27 1 / 1  
Sep 22, 2017   #3
Thank you for the feedback. Noted all your points and will try to keep all this in mind while writing especially for IELTS. Thank you once again!

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