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IELTS ACADEMIC WRITING TASK 2: Adverts to persuading potential buyers

Minhhh2005 2 / 3  
Jun 12, 2022   #1
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.
Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Write at least 250 words

In recent years, the exponential growth of e-commerce and entertainment online platforms leading to an exponentially flourishing advertisement industry is particularly effective at influencing consumers purchasing decisions. Therefore, while some argue that advertisements have become so commonplace that customers are no longer affected by them, I agree with those who believe that advertising nowadays is still exceedingly powerful.

On the one hand, it is true that social media platforms bombard users with tremendous amounts of advertising. The most noticeable aspect of the appearance of these advertisements is that it is based on extraordinary marketing strategies of marketing companies. For example, if we search for a bag on Google, we will see constantly repeated commercials about bags on our Facebook page. The administrators of social media networks are continuously observing us via our touchpoints and internet searches and provide relevant adverts based on this information, promoting clients' purchasing decisions. That is why commercializing products through the media and other billboards continues to be a common attract public attention. Hence, I absolutely agree with the advertising' overwhelming in influencing us to buy.

On the other hand, it could be argued that the magical power of advertising has begun to fade through a negative attitude of individuals since they have been aware of the unreliableness of ads. Some brand marketers generally tend to polish the sales message to attract and motivate customers to purchase their products. Unfortunately, customers cannot experience usage and file complaints on social networking sites or entertainment online platforms such as Tiktok. Because of the constant growth and pervasiveness of social media, individuals believe these feedbacks and lose faith in commercials, especially in the cosmetics industry.

To conclude, while ordinary citizens are likely to have a negative perspective toward advertising, advertisers are nevertheless able to discover potential buyers because of the massive data they have. As the result, I feed it still productive since it develops a desire in people to purchase products.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,856 4178  
Jun 12, 2022   #2
Never place the thesis statement at the start of the essay. It creates a prompt deviation when incorrectly placed in the paragraph. The information contained should follow the format below:

Personal Opinion
Reason/ Thesis statement

The above format ensures both task accuracy and a better preliminary score for the essay. This shows a clear writer's opinion using a sound reasoning basis.

There is an incorrect pronoun usage in the paragraphs. The public opinion discussion always uses the third person reference. This is because the writer should be presenting an unbias analysis of the public perception first. When using his,personal opinion the only acceptable personal pronoun is in the first person singular since it is a direct reference to the writer's point of view.

The error in discussion format is what will prevent a passing score. The discussion does not clearly divide the public from the private opinion presentation for each viewpoint.
OP Minhhh2005 2 / 3  
Jun 14, 2022   #3
Thank for your review. It will be really helpful for me in my next essay.

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