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IELTS writing academic about divorce; spikes in break-ups and divorces


ngochanh123 1 / -  
Sep 24, 2021   #1
In some parts of the world, the rate of divorce has increased dramatically over the past few decades.

Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions.



In line with the shift in time, a recent phenomenon on dramatical increase in divorce indicates some concerns in terms of problems from getting married. This essay will elaborate on some probable causes and positive solutions which can improve this situation

There are concerning reasons leading couples to split up and even go to divorce. Firstly, many married couples live with extended family, therefore, conflicts may occur between the young and the old generation during daily activities. For instance, young couple likely to have parties with friends at home but their parents assume those activities as ill-manners need to be fixed. Hence, young couple feel unhappy and depressed in their relationship. Secondly, having child costs married people more than when they are single. In the past, family usually helps pairs with taking care of their kids and helping them with expenses. However, present married duos have to manage everything, especially when their kids are still newborn, they look after their children and work to pay the bills at the same time. For that reason, they get much burden and depression.

However, this situation can be improved by some possible solutions. The young and the elderly in extended family can confess with each other and find out a way to neutralize the lifestyle and bridge the gap between generations. Besides, married pairs may have therapy with psychologist before and during their marriage. These activities help them to relieve the stress and concerns they hold in their relationship.

In conclusion, , by conducting some positive solutions to resolve common negative thoughts and feeling of married people, this situation would be better.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,801 4780  
Sep 26, 2021   #2
The prompt restatement is acceptable. The opinion part though, is not represented at all since there are no direct question responses provided. The discussion outline does not have a clear direction as required by the questions provided.

There are concerning reasons leading couples to split up and even go to divorce.

There is no need to repeat this information. It does not work as a proper topic sentence since it only repeats the last line of the previous paragraph. The first sentence of the reasoning paragraph must indicate the topic or subject of the paragraph immediately.

The solutions presented do not solidly relate to the previously stated problems. The solutions must always be developed based on the previously stated reasons.

A concluding summary must have 2 sentences comprised of 40 words minimum. This presentation does not present an effective discussion recap.


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