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IELTS Academic essay: Old people take a while to begin using new technology such as mobile


Altaa 11 / 22  
Nov 19, 2013   #1
Old people take a while to begin using new technology, such as mobile phones. Why do you think this is happening? Suggest ways to encourage them to use mobile phones and new technology for their benefit.

Nowadays, we are living in era of rapidly developing technology. Technology has been greatly used in our daily processes and becoming a vital part of our lives. Greatly increasing usage of modern communication system such as mobile phones requires all of us to be familiar with its functionalities. However, some people, specially elders have trouble on learning about new technologies such as mobile phones, because of their health issues and other knowledge related problems.

Mobile phones usually have small sized letters on their small buttons. We all know that when people are getting older, their sight are usually worsening and as a consequence, it is difficult them to read letters in small size. Also, elder people usually easy to forget about new things they learn because human's memory is also worsening as long as age goes. Therefore, it takes more time to elders to be familiar with mobile phone usage than do youngsters. That is the first reason why elders consume more time on beginning of usage of new technologies.

Another main factor which makes elders to be unfamiliar with modern new technologies is their knowledge-related problem. Today, all mobile phones have letters in English. It is hard to memorize foreign language letters for elders who live in non-English speaking country if they do not know English. For example, it is common in my country, Mongolia, that elders usually use mobile phones only for making and receiving calls. They do not totally use other functions such as messaging because of lack of English knowledge.

But we do not need to blame elders for being unfamiliar with or spending more time on usage of modern technology. Instead of, we have to seek ways to promote their usage of modern technologies by making it more comfortable and easy to use. For example, if manufacturers design mobile phones with some special features such as making letter's size bigger, all elders would be found it easy to use. Also, it would be great for them if mobile phones have letters of local language of countries in keyboards.
Duva 2 / 3 1  
Nov 19, 2013   #2
it is difficult them to read letters in small size.
it is difficult for them

i think you should need to read more about prepositions.
phuongnam95 9 / 28  
Nov 19, 2013   #3
Nowadays, we are living in era of rapidly developing technology

-> an era

it is difficult them

-> for them

Also, elder people usually easy to forget about new things they learn because human's memory is also worsening as long as age goes

->people are usually easy to forget new things

Therefore, it takes more time to elders to be familiar with mobile phone usage than do youngsters

-> it takes more time for elders to be familiar with mobile phone usage
The first reason does not have examples.
pakias 5 / 14  
Nov 19, 2013   #4
That is the first reason why elders consume more time on beginning of usage of new technologies.
This is wrong as you mentioned two reasons before in the paragraph, so should've probably said two reasons or something like that.
reddy 1 / 2  
Nov 19, 2013   #5
you have to take care about your conclusion part.
you have to mention any connecting word at starting of the conclusion part and mention your thesis part again.


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