Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6


IELTS academic rich-poor conflict


Adammero 1 / 4  
May 10, 2014   #1
Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

Throughout history,the gap between the rich and the poor is constant,if not widening.However,narrowing this gap not only depends on just one nation's approach,but also need the interference of others to succeed.This essay explores this relationship with the aim of seeking equality between different nations.

To begin with,developed countries have earned their positions because of fulfilling basic criteria for progress.For example,justice,advanced education and marvellous healthcare system.Such more developed nations can export their expertise to less developed ones,in order to guide their ways for brighter future.Some suggest that providing food for poor people is the sole way for offering help,where, in fact,this is absolutely wrong.Introducing new agricultural and industrial techniques for developing countries, along with creative means of education will result in boosting their economic capacity.This could be achieved with the aid of industrialized communities.

On the other hand,least developed nations' governments are demanded to ensure novel job opportunities for their citizens.Increasing unemployment rate,abject poverty and widespread illiteracy are the inevitable consequences of any narrow-minded,conservative regime.Therefore,it lies in the hands of the authorities to reform their systems and rebuild bridges of communication between them and their societies.Take youth rehabilitation,for example.For any nation to proceed,young people's potentials should be exploited in a positive manner,through practice programmes and rewarding monetary incentives.Another point worthy mentioning,is that the government should encourage local and international trading projects,which will eventually increase the per capita income.

In a nutshell,destitute countries can improve their life standards ,in the presence of determined authorities and competent system.In addition,they need the knowledge and experiences of of developed communities,rather than just food or unuseful charity.It is my conviction that development is not a figment of our imagination.However,is it possible to be set in motion soon,or is it solely a good dream?
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
May 10, 2014   #2
Throughout history,the gap between the rich and the poor is constant,if not widening.

.... It is not very clear that you talk about the gap between the individuals or the nations. Better specify.

Throughout history,the gap between the rich and the poor is constant,if not widening.However,narrowing this gap not only depends on just one nation's approach,but also need the interference of others to succeed.This essay explores this relationship with the aim of seeking equality between different nations.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
May 11, 2014   #3
First, I have an admin request for you - Open all IELTS essays in Writing Feedback forum which is the most appropriate forum for IELTS essays. This has been transferred from Essays to Writing Feedback by us.
fikri 5 / 317 71  
May 11, 2014   #4
additionally, in writing task IELTS, you should give space between each paragraph,
so, the readers will be not confused when they read your essay
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
May 11, 2014   #5
To begin with,developed countries have earned their positions because ofby fulfilling basic criteriarequirements for progress.For example,justice,advanced education and marvelloussound healthcare system.SuchTherefore themore developed nations are in a position tocan export their expertise to less developed ones,in order to guide their ways for brighter future.
OP Adammero 1 / 4  
May 13, 2014   #6
Thank you all for such helpful responses,, but may I ask ,,regarding the paragraph which Pahan says away from the text,,it is all about providing solutions for the poor countries to improve,WO how comes it doesn't answer the question????


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS academic rich-poor conflict
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳