'acceptable solutions for global village' - IELTS-Globalisation

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Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.
Globalization is becoming a commonly used term in twentieth century. Because of globalization many things are adjusting and the world is becoming combined economically, socially and politically through the assistance of technology and communication. Some people argue that globalization has a fundamentally beneficial influence on our lives, while others believe that it has a lot of bad effects on us.

Firstly, since the globalization is occurring, it has contributed to the world's economy with the beneficial ways, especially, the changes which happened in technology have allowed businesses to easily cross the boundaries. Consequently, companies and factories are paying attention to generate goods which has a great quality.

Secondly, many companies from globalizers have already organized to establish economical, social, political and cultural communication with non-globalizers. In my opinion, these kinds of businesses can provide more influx of money into the less developed nations.

However, no-one can deny the bad effects which have derived from globalization. For instance, nowadays, a lot of cities are reconstructing and new buildings and workplaces are constructing instead the locals houses. From this a lot of inhabitants are moving other places or staying without house. A number of old houses which situated in the centre or which near to the main road are demolishing so that build new apartments or new supermarkets.

To sum up, I want to reiterate that globalization is inevitable and we should hope from individuals and governments to approach acceptable solutions for matters which are related to globalization.

Globalization ishasbecome a commonly used t] termword in the twentieth century (U can write the sentence in this way:"Globalization is a word which is commonly used in the contemporary century") . Because of globalization many things are adjusting and the world is becoming combined economically, socially and politically through, resulting in the assistance of technology and communication. Some people argue that globalization has a fundamentally beneficial influence on our lives, while others believe that it has a lot of badnegative effects on us. For better understanding of the globalization's effects both its positive and negative aspects should be viewed and discussed [Write a sentence to connect the introduction to the body (it is called Blueprint)]

Firstly, since the globalization is occurring, it has contributed to the world's economy with the beneficial ways, especially, the changes which happened in technology have allowed businesses to easily cross the boundaries(this sentence is too long and vague. Revise it. U should use better grammar .) . (how does it cause to technology cross the borders? Support it) Consequently, companies and factories are paying attention to generate goods which has a great quality (Support the topic sentence. Give examples, statistics, etc, to support what u claim in a paragraph) .

Good luck
Ahmad

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