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IELTS-Writing task 2: Accepting an equal proportion of degree students is looked at by the gender


Liliy 12 / 13 6  
Apr 10, 2015   #1
Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.

To what extent do you agree and disagree ?


These days, some people believe that universities have accepted the proportion of student looking at their gender particularly between male and female with an equal percentage. Whereas, that will be acceptable in some situation, I firmly believe that in this case universities are better to place it in the different number.

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EF_Jasmine - / 68 39  
Apr 10, 2015   #2
These days, some people believe that universities have accepted the proportion of student looking at their gender particularly between male and female with an equal percentage. Whereas, that will be acceptable in some situation(s), I firmly believe that in this case(,) universities are better to place it( Place what? What is "it"? The women the men? Please clarify) in the different number.

To begin with , some lecture subject(s) and another major(s) have different qualification(s) to produce professional worker(s). Result(s) shows that 90 percent of faculty of administration is only provided for female that they will be worked as secretary profession in a company.( <Interesting Point, can you please write where you received this data?) As the number of qualification in gender has different number, universities are more likely to accept in a differently gender.< This is a good point would love more elaboration here!

Creating equal numbers in every major produces ( forces the universities?) the university (to face their unequal views about career opportunist( opportunities) to their students ( <This sentence was a little wordy, I added some suggestions). Webometric - World education range rater- reveals that a great (a) number of graduated university (students) become unemployed people due proportion in work male have ( to males having?) predominant strategic position. As a result, there will be ( a great affect) affected in working females (that) do not have the same proportion as male.

On the other hand, to provide each subject on an equal number of the gender will lead in a balance right for every gender. This (IS) because nowadays females have a small percentage than male in many aspects, while in other cases females also have a large proportion. Take a faculty of architecture as straightforward example, 90 percent of male student have the largest domination in this major than female student. Consequently, female students have a different proportion and opportunity to (for work becomes small) work becoming smal l .

The aforementioned evidence reveals that although some cases show that how female and male have (an) equal number of cases of casesin the several situation, other cases universities should consider that between them ( males and females) has (have) different qualifications. Furthermore, this may be possible (by) giving students about coaching clinic (s) before they choose their major.

Hi! I have given you some edits and suggestions to help you out, you have some great points, but your sentences can be wordy at times, no worries though, I have suggested some edits above. Hopefully it will help your next revision!


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