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According to the data, Sweden and USA have the same tone of population. (IELTS 1)


Bayuwibowo 48 / 73 21  
Nov 25, 2015   #1
A breakdown of the population proportion in Japan, Sweden, and USA from 1940 to 2015 and 2040 as projected years is shown in the line graph. Overall, all of the three countries experience an outward trend of population aged 65 and above in a 10 decade period. It is also noticeable that Japan experienced a lowest number of elderly people population between 1960 and 1985.

According to the data, Sweden and USA have the same tone of population. They stood at 8% in 1940 and ended to approximately 25% elderly people who aged 65 or more in 2040. The differences emerge from 2014 to 2015 when the percentages of Sweden elderly people peak at 20%, while USA see a gradual decrease from 15% to 13% in the same time.

The proportion in Japan shows the most astonishing figures, it is stood at 5% at the beginning of the period. Although it was accounted the lowest proportion in 1960 to 1980, Japan people aged 65 or over will be predicted rise dramatically to more than a quarter over 100 years.




hayaalqasem 9 / 17  
Nov 25, 2015   #2
your essay is excellent
you describe the graph in the introduction
you made a comparison
you used different types of words adjective adverb nouns and verbs
you used future and past simple
good luck
daveandrei 14 / 8 5  
Nov 26, 2015   #3
Hi, Bayu.
I saw some grammatical errors in here.
Let me try to give you some suggestions.
Enjoy your day!


... from 1940 to 2015 and its prediction in 2040 as projected years is shown in the line graph.
... experience an outward trend of the population aged 65 and above in a 10 decade period. ...

It is also noticeable that Japan experienced athe lowest number of elderly people ...

... and USA have the same tone of the population. They stood at 8% in 1940 and ended towill be approximately 25% of elderly people who aged 65 ...
... while USA sees a gradual decrease from 15% to 13% in the same time.


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