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achieving happiness through relationships - IELTS ESSAY


remya 2 / 10  
Feb 17, 2010   #1
In achieving happiness relationships are of more importance than anything else in the world. Do you agree or disagree.

MY ESSAY
Human being is a social animal. So we cannot stand independent in this world and this relationship is the source of happiness to all. I fully agree to this statement.

Being a social animal each individual depend on each other's to satisfy their needs, whatever it may be. It is foolishness if one thinks that he can do everything in his life without others help. Not only happiness but our existence itself is based on this relationship. Knowingly or unknowingly we depend on others for our food, clothing, shelter, or job for instance.

More over our culture is one based on the belief of the family. Father, mother, brother, sister, uncle aunt-these relations play important role in our day-to-day life, our achievements and happiness. For example at bad times we dwell to our home and to the safety of our parents even at our adulthood at which we ourselves are expected to have the problem solving and decision making power. Time spend with family members or good friends are much valued than any other activity. Good relationships also lead us to success through the good advices and pointing the correct path. Our life is not devoid of unexpected emergencies or causalities. At those tomes good relations only come to our way with open hands of help.

To conclude, good relationships are unavoidable elements without which there won't be any meaning to our life. Only good relations can stretch a helping hand either at the limelight or twilight days of our life.

Please evaluate in terms of-
Task fulfillment, Grammatical errors, sentence structure, and the word limit is 250.
THANK YOU.

Randyhl 8 / 33  
Feb 17, 2010   #2
Human being is aare social animals.

SoTherefore, in this world, we cannot standbeindependentlonelyin this world and thisare relationshipsisare the source of our happiness to all . I fully agree to this statement.

Being a social animal, each individual depends on each other's to satisfy theirwhatever their needs may beneeds, whatever it may be.

Honestly, you're errors are distracting making me have no idea what you're essay is trying to essay because of how incorrect your grammar is. Maybe you have some good stuff in there, but for your own good you have to go through every sense and fix all of your mistakes.
usalma2002 9 / 21  
Feb 17, 2010   #3
Dear Remya,
I am also going to appear in the IELTS exam soon and trying to write essays like you as well. I tend to say, u need much attention in grammar.The idea seems OK to me if u can express these correctly.
OP remya 2 / 10  
Feb 18, 2010   #4
Thank you dear friends.I came to know i must take care of my grammer.I would like to post some other essays too.Expecting your valuable cooperation,
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Feb 18, 2010   #5
The human being is a social animal. So, we cannot stand independent in this world; and this relationship is the source of happiness to all.

Here is one place you forgot an apostrophe:
It is foolishness if one thinks that he can do everything in his life without others' help.--- in this sentence, we put an apostrophe after others:

...others' help.

Usually it comes before the s
I asked for the other's help. (1 other)
He can do everything without others' help. (more than one other)
OP remya 2 / 10  
Feb 18, 2010   #6
Thank you sir.I will take care of these mistakes next time.


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