Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

[TOEFL Writing] Which action is better for the government to take to protect the environment?


lupinwang 1 / -  
Aug 30, 2017   #1
The government can take a variety of actions to help protect the environment. Which one of the following do you think is the most important for the nation's government to take to protect the environment?

1. Fund the research to develop environmentally friendly energy sources such as solar and wind energy.
2. Preserve the natural places like forests and protect the animals that live there.
3. Enforce laws to prevent the pollution of air and water by large companies.


environmental pollution laws should be implemented



Nowadays, environmental pollution has emerged as one of the most urgent issues of the government to handle and government is obliged to take necessary measures to protect it from contamination. Some experts have come up with three plausible solutions, from environmentally-friendly energy source development, to the protection of natural habits and wild animals, and to forbidding businesses to emit air or water pollution by law. Among all these three suggestions, I suppose that enforcing laws to prohibit air or water contamination by huge corporations is the best option.

First, compared with the other two choices, implementing laws on corporate pollution is much more economical. If the government decides to invent new environmentally friendly energy, they have to recruit relevant experts and specialists, for whom it has to pay thousands of dollars to make the best of their brain and talents to get the project finished. Also, if the government decides to protect natural forests or wild animals, they are likely to choose a place as a potential spot of a wildlife reserve and then spend a tremendous amount of money contacting several construction companies to build this natural protection area. However, when it comes to enforcing laws to prevent the air and water pollutions by huge companies, it may just take a few officials to draw up the first draft and wait for the congress to pass it. It won't add any single financial burden to the government.

Second, the law on water or air pollution is the very prerequisite for the other two solutions. Even though the government successfully innovate new energy sources such as solar and geothermal energy, the contamination issue wouldn't be well tackled if the pollution released by huge firms is so severe and even out of control. Similarly, one of the threats to forests and animals is man-made pollution, whether water or air. If no laws has been passed to put a curb on companies' emission of pollutants, the natural habits and animals dwelling there could be harmed continuously, even endlessly. Therefore, as we can see, it is vital to establish laws to ban companies from releasing and emitting their chemicals wastes or toxic discharges. Without these necessities, the other two options are just like buildings erecting without a solid foundation and someday it may collapse eventually.

In a nutshell, among all these three possibilities, drawing up and implementing environmental pollution laws is the one I prefer.

P.S: I'd appreciate if you could help me revise my toefl essay. Cheers!

Holt - / 7,527 2001  
Aug 30, 2017   #2
Hi Lupin, I am more than happy to help you review your essay response. You did a good job in explaining the essay topic. The fact that you knew to include the other choices in the discussion of the paraphrased statement shows a clear understanding of the given discussion. Opting to present your choice upfront also helped to prepare the reader for the upcoming discussion. However, the essay asked you to pick only one option to justify in the discussion you will be providing. The mention of the other 2 choices as part of the discussion became irrelevant and changed the prompt instruction from a single discussion to a multiple discussion. The essay asked you for an opinion regarding "Which one of the following do you think is the most important for the nation's government to take to protect the environment?". This indicates that the essay is meant to only present one choice with supporting data following in the remaining 3 body paragraphs. You were not being asked to compare and contrast the 3 choices. Like I said, the previous choices are irrelevant in the mode of discussion described for this essay. You need to be careful when you read the discussion instructions. Make sure that you understand what you are being required to do and present in the essay. Don't just write the essay if you are not sure of how to approach the discussion. Since this is a practice essay, you have the opportunity to ask questions in order to make sure that you will respond to the prompt properly. Take advantage of that opportunity because you need to be familiar with all the essay discussion types before you take the test. You are not sure which one you will be asked to do on the actual test day.


Home / Writing Feedback / [TOEFL Writing] Which action is better for the government to take to protect the environment?