Unanswered [10] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


IELTS Writing 2 - adapting to the climate crisis rather than trying to prevent it from happening


RomanKoch 10 / 22 9  
May 21, 2020   #1
Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



Climate crisis is one of the most serious global issues today. For many people the preferred course of action is to adapt to it rather than to try to prevent it from happening. I completely disagree with this idea as it is will be harder to find a suitable place to live for humans and adaptation is unattainable for other species.

To begin with, without actions the climate change will gradually worsen and people will not be able to live with it. As the global temperature rises, some places will become too hostile for people and they will be forced to move somewhere else. People's ability to adapt and survive has its limits. For instance, the expansion of deserts has already sped up and many tropical islands are sinking under the ocean level. Global crisis leads to the disappearance of lands suitable for human settlements.

Even if the humankind survives, animals and plants will not. Our planet's ecosystem is extremely fragile and many species of flora and fauna, in contrast to humans, cannot find a way to adapt to rapid changes in temperatures and will go extinct. Photos of starving polar bears have already shown the dire consecuences of elevated temperatures. In some regions of Arctic, these animals are unable to find food as their prey have migrated to cooler northern regions, leaving the bears behind.

There is a thought that a suitable way to deal with global warming is to find a way to tolerate it, instead of taking actions to stop it. However, this approach will not only result in disappearance of areas suitable for humans, but also will aloow animal and plant life to go extinct. Therefore, I strongly disagree with accepting this approach.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
May 21, 2020   #2
This is one of your better written essays. You have learned to appropriately restate the prompt and offer your topics for discussion in a manner that will have the examiner interested to read what else you have to say. Your first reasoning paragraph was well developed until the last sentence. What global crisis were you speaking of? Climate change does not necessarily equate into a lack of suitable human or animal settlements. Clarify your explanation. I believe you meant to indicate that "Urban development will eventually lead to unsuitable human settlements" , or something like that. I am not really sure what you meant to say in that sentence.

You do not need to use the connecting word "the" in reference to humankind. Are you sure that animals and plants will not survive? Do not make exaggerated statements. Offer a sense of uncertainty if required by the discussion. Your evidence does not prove that the polar bears have been eradicated by global warming. That is not to say that the discussion in that paragraph isn't effective because it was. It was just a wee bit on the exaggerated side which should not happen in an academic presentation.

Good work on the concluding paraphrase. It was well suited to the purpose. It had a clear topic restatement, your reasons and were properly represented, and helped to close the essay on a strong note. Good job!
OP RomanKoch 10 / 22 9  
May 21, 2020   #3
change

Thank you for the feedbacks, really helpful!

Shame to admit but my abilities are not as good as you thought in regards to the last sentence of the second paragraph. There were no much thought in that phrase from my side. Unfortunately it was simply because I finished my point too early, run out of things to say, but noticed that the paragraph was too short, panicked, and added that one.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing 2 - adapting to the climate crisis rather than trying to prevent it from happening
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳