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'The additional facility at Tusk University' - Gre argument


viviana15077 7 / 21  
Jul 29, 2012   #1
"Tusk University should build a new recreational facility, both to attract new students and to better serve the needs of our current student body. Tusk projects that enrolment will double over the next 10 years, based on current trends. The new student body is expected to reflect a much higher percentage of commuter students than we currently enroll. The will make the existing facilities inadequate. Moreover, the cost of health and recreational club membership in our community has increased rapidly in recent years. Thus, students will find it much more advantageous to make use of the facilities on campus. Finally, an attractive new recreational center would make prospective students, especially athletically gifted ones, more likely to enrol at Tusk."

\Write a response that examines this argument's unstated assumptions. Make sure you explain how this argument depends on those assumptions and what the implications are if the assumptions are wrong.

Ans:

The argument that a new recreational facility will attract new students to enrol at Tusk University and also solve the inadequacy of current facilities may seem logical at first glance. The author makes a valid argument, one that would be correct it its premises were true. However, his conclusion relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence, and it uses terms that lack definition.

First, the writer assumes that building a new recreational facility will attract new students and enrolment will double over the years. However, this new recreational facility might be entirely irrelevant and might not help to improve the enrolment at all. Suppose, for example, the new recreational facility that Tusk University plans on building is a theatre; students who don't engage in filming might not find this new recreational facility fascinating. Additionally, this new theatre would not serve its purpose of meeting the ever-increasing students' needs.

Besides, the writer also assumes that the expected growing number of students will make the existing facilities inadequate. But, the writer provides no evidence to see if a parallel exists between increasing number of students and the inadequacy of existing facilities. Hypothetically speaking, the existing facilities might look old and shabby. This appearance might not arouse students' desires to use those existing facilities.

Also, the write implies without citing specific evidence that students will be more inclined to use the on-campus facilities as the cost of the community health and recreational club membership has increased. In fact, the community health and recreational club might be well equipped for certain activities such as canoeing and mountaineering which the school facilities might lack. If so, these students would rather spend more money to get access to the community club. The argument's conclusion requires the support of evidence demonstrating that the school current facilities are fully equipped and advantageous to its students.

The notion that attractive new recreational center will attract more athletically gifted students to enrol at Tusk University would be strengthened if the writer had provided evidence that this attractive recreational center is an athletic facility and not science laboratory. The author's argument would be strengthened considerably by additional evidence that shows some statistics and surveys that a large number of students are excited about the new recreational facility and a high percentage of these students will make use of it.

In conclusion, the writer would not necessarily be wrong to assert that new facility will potentially lead to some improvement in enrolment at Tusk University. After all, the additional facility will certainly not adversely affect the school image. But to support the current conclusion that a new recreational facility will effectively double the enrolment, the writer must submit more conclusive evidence that the new facility will, in fact, attract more prospective students.
Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Jul 29, 2012   #2
Hi, I have some suggestions for your essay.

The argumentAt first glance, it may seem logical that a new recreational facility will attract new students to enroll at Tusk University and alsoas well as solve the inadequacy of current facilities. may seem logical at first glance. The author makes a valid argument, one that would be correct itif its premises were true. However, his conclusion relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence, and it uses terms that lack definition.

First, the writer assumes that building a new recreational facility will attract new students,andcausing enrollment to double over the years. However, this new recreational facility mightcould be entirely irrelevantineffective at improving enrollment.and might not help to improve the enrolment at all.Suppose,F or example, if the new recreational facility that Tusk University plans on building is a theater,then students who don't engage in filming might not find this new recreational facility fascinating. Additionally, this new theatre would not necessarily serve its purpose of meeting the ever-increasing needs of the students .' needs.

Besides, the writer also assumes that the expected growing number of students will make the existing facilities inadequate. But, the writer provides no evidence to see if a parallel exists between increasing number of students and the inadequacy of existing facilities. Hypothetically speaking, the existing facilities might look old and shabby. This appearance might not arouse students' desires to use those existing facilities.

Also,Thewritearticle implies without citing specific evidence that students will be more inclined to use the on-campus facilities, due to the risingas the cost of the community health and recreational club membership.has increased. In fact, the community health and recreational club might be well equipped for certainoffer additional activities such as canoeing and mountaineering, which the school facilities might lack. If so, these students would rather spend more money to get access tojoin the community club. The argument's conclusion requires the support of evidence demonstrating that the school current facilities are fully equipped and advantageous to its students.

The notion that attractive new recreational center will attract more athletically gifted students to enroll at Tusk University would be strengthened if the writer had provided evidence that this attractive recreational center is an athletic facility and not science laboratory. (this sentence is far too long...) The author's argument would be strengthened considerably by additional evidence that shows some statistics and surveys that a large number of students are excited about the new recreational facility and a high percentage of these students will make use of it.

In conclusion, the writer would not necessarily be wrong to assert that new facility will potentially lead to some improvement in enrollment at Tusk University. After all, the additional facility will certainly not adversely affect the school image. But to support the current conclusion that a new recreational facility will effectively double the enrollmen t, the writer must submit more conclusive evidence that the new facility will, in fact, attract more prospective students. (try to make this final paragraph less repetitive, strengthen this section as best you can. Continue to focus on your grammar)
OP viviana15077 7 / 21  
Aug 4, 2012   #3
Thank you Jennifer Reeves. Appreciate the corrections.


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