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Most of adolescent decide to work than continued their study to university - Exercise Writing task 2


alfinkurnia 33 / 47  
Nov 30, 2016   #1
These days, most of adolescent decides to work than continued their study to university. It has occured since a few years ago. They thought when they work will get numerous benefits. In fact, recently a institution which usually survey about that launched a new result that 30 percent student choosed to work after graduated from senior high school.

As we know, when someone decides to work. It has many effect for him, positive or even negative effect. Many benefits for people who work after graduated are they will get more experience and knowledge to work with other people. Then, they earns more money and can help their family. They can increase financial of their family. Furthermore, they will have networking with important person who help him in the future. The last, they obtain excellent skill because the company usually educated them with skill which company need.

However, when adolescent get work and do not continue their study, it can affect to them. There are many disadvantage such as, after they resign and want to continue their education, the university probably reject them because their old are not appropiate to study. And if they can be accepted, they will confuse to follow the class. It can be happen because they accustomed to work and have not knowledge regarding academic. They have lack of ability to solve question of math where they might understand before work.

In conclusion, I think study and work are equal essensial. Although there are numerous advantage and disadvantage where depends someone to choose that.
yurikeyuri 43 / 61 2  
Nov 30, 2016   #2
Hello, let me give my correction for you

It has many effecteffects for him (because many indicate plural)

Then, they earnsearn(because the subject is "they", so you must use "earn")

moremuch money ("money" is uncontauble noun)

There are many disadvantageadvantages such as (may indicate plural)

thank you
mardian24 46 / 75  
Nov 30, 2016   #3
Hi alfin, let me give you numerous suggestions

1. These days, most of adolescent decidesdecide to work ...
'most of' should be followed by plural verb

2. when they work will get numerous benefits
It is double verb, you need to change one of those verbs

3. Then, they earns moremuch money
money is uncountable so you need to use 'much' as determiner

Thank you
Keep writing


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