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'being an adult needs a sound skill' - TPO 24 Writing

YunfengHu90 1 / -  
Feb 17, 2012   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

My Work
Children are always the treasure of their parents. And parents often treat children as a emperor, especially in China single child family. However, is it really beneficial for parents to regard children like this? The answer is definitely wrong. Giving them chance to experience the colorful life and live by their own is more significant. A part-time job can be a good choice.

First of all, taking a part-time job can contribute to the communication skills. To grow up into an adult, children should learn to get on well with the surroundings, not only the environment but also the people. Thus, the communication plays a key role. Whenever we make friends or start a relationship, we must talk. And a part-time job provides a variety of opportunities to chat with people in different fields. It can surely promote their ability to express ourselves.

Secondly, children will be more responsible by taking a part-time job. When children stay at home, almost everything is taken care of by their parents. However, if they are at work, even if it is not full-time, they must consider what to do and how to handle some troubles. Otherwise they should be scolded by their boss, or worse, lose the job. For example, if a part-time teacher conveys some mistakes to his students for many times, he will certainly be fired.

Finally, children can gradually be independent after they take a part-time job. During the part-time job, they will learn from other fellows of their age who strive to live a better life. Gradually, they may be inspired and eager to imitate the way. They realize they should prove that they can be as well as other people. It is their duty to support themselves. Imaging all of your companions earn their life on their own part, how can you keep asking money for your parents without feeling guilty?

In sum, being an adult needs a sound skill of communication and responsibility to the people and things around and it is a symbol of independence. All of these can be obtained by part-time job. Thus, in my opinion, parents may as well offer their children the opportunity to go.

Ps: I am poor in writing and I want to improve my writing ability by practice. So I hope someone can help me to reveise this writing! Thanks!
Glorenet - / 3  
Feb 18, 2012   #2
There are few aspect to like in your essay howvere, punctuation, prepositions, article, grammar, I simply cannot mention it all here need improvement. we can help you. Simply choose your country and there we are. I will be waiting. Thanks and nice studies.

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