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Advanced technology has changed human life in several ways particularly in how we communicate.


ekalamarsyari11 72 / 108 9  
Sep 4, 2016   #1
The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Advanced technology has changed in several way of human life particularly in communication. Some people think that this advancement has affected bad effect on human relationships. However, I moderately disagree with this argument because apart from the negative impact digital media has helped individuals to extend their connections.

Electronic gadget causes negative influence for one thing it has made people became apathetic about their social interaction. A large amount of time belonged to persons for socializing with others has been replaced by diverse activities on the internet. This is more likely to degrade humans' skills to communicate such non-verbal communication skill and managing stress in the moment. Therefore, they become careless and individualists. However, the technology communication also has benefits for establishing larger relations.

Electronic media was one of the biggest inventions over the centuries because it has enabled human to connect to others in a long distance and broadens access to the international information. These days, people are prone to live separately from their nuclear family. Electronic gadget, therefore, has helped persons to keep in touch with their relatives abroad. Furthermore, the media has facilitated humans to build a new community easily such as searching for their interested pet club, making friends with foreign inhabitants, and so on. In fact, the media has improved more personal relationships instead of affected bad influence for those relations.

In conclusion, electronic media has not affected totally destructive human social connection indeed. It has several advanced function which help people to maintain their relationships. Hence, I personally suggest that societies should be aware with the negative effects on digital socializing so that they can maximally obtain the benefits from those sophisticated technology communications.
akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Sep 5, 2016   #2
Hi Eka.
I admit that you have the persistence to practice. I believe you will master this skill immediately. However, let me help you again to finalize your essay.


Electronic gadget causes negative influence for one thing it has made people became

you need a connecting conjunction "BECAUSE".

degrade humans' skills to communicate such non-verbal communication skill and managing stress in the moment

Here is the supporting sentence to strengthen your opinion. You can show the experince minimally because it has been not strong. I believe you can make it.

Electronic media was one of the biggest [...] live separately from their nuclear family.
BASED ON THE REALITY NOWADAYS, PEOPLE HAVE BEEN PRONE TO LIVE SEPARATELY FROM THEIR NUCLEAR FAMILY. FORTUNATELY, THE ELECTRONIC MEDIA ATTENDS AS ONE OF THE GREATEST INVENTIONS, WHICH CAN BECOME A VALUABLE SOLUTION TO DEAL WITH THE MATTER. ITS MAIN REASON IS BECAUSE THE COMMUNICATION MEDIA HAS ENABLED PEOPLE TO CONNECT TO OTHERS IN A LONG..........

I personally appreciate your effort because you have strive to pass the process. I strongly believe you are going to show suprise by suprise about your progress in the next term..

Keep spirit
Happy Writing.
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