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The advanced technology has given influence to the interaction way among people.

Adhisti 20 / 19 2  
Apr 24, 2015   #1
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?
Has this become a positive or negative development?

The advanced technology has given influence to the interaction way among people. Technology causes changes of the sorts of relationships people have. They have different ways to make communication to one another. This actually gives a positive development, even though it sometimes results the drawback.

Communication can be done by many ways. People acquire ease to do conversation to others in a long distance by using some applications which are offered by technology. Not only can people use mobile phone, but also access the internet to call their families or friends. The more applications people know, the more benefits they get. For instance, people can use Skype application to talk with their friends in different countries via video call where people can see face each other directly. Thus, several applications are able to change the types of people's relationships in which they are more sociable only just using technology.

Turning to effect given by technology, it results much more positive developments for people. They, for example, are more mobile because of the existence of technology in order to communicate to other people. Although there is a negative impact such people sometimes have individual behaviour because they are too focus on their advanced technology, people actually can use technology to make many kinds of conversations in social media via the internet, such as Facebook, Twitter, and this only can be visited by using technology.

To sum up, technology has a pivotal role to improve communication among people so they do not hard to call everyone in everywhere. Despite technology has addresses negative effect, people should have a good way to avoid it wisely. I believe that technology will always develop the quality of people's lives continually.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Apr 24, 2015   #2
Adhisti, see my comments with green, and my edits with blue

The advanced technology has given influence to the interaction way among people.

Good introduction. Yet, where is your point of view? As you know, this essay asks you to discuss the tasks from the prompt. It is the lack of introduction to your point of view that weakened your introductory paragraph. Rework the introduction by including your point of view.

Communication can be done by many ways.

Good argument. However, the way you speak of the Internet used as means of communication comes nowhere. I did not see any improvement from the discussion, since you avoid talking more details in this issue. How email and texting have completely replaced letters and telegrams as the key hub of written communication is more in line with your essay prompt.

Apart from the discussion above, such innovations have developed personal relationships. It, for example, is more easily to keep in contact with friends from schools who have lived somewhere out of home town, and this means relationships stay longer. The only negative side is that the online applications attract people totally get addicted and result in the lack of face-to-face communication.

eddy suaib

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