Crime rate and technologic solutions
The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?
(can you check for my writing as well as helping me understand when to use the crime, a crime, the crimes, crimes)
It is often argued that people nowadays have been witnessed a dramatic decline in the number of offenders compared to the past. Although I believe that technological improvements have been positively contributed to this phenomenon, I partly think, as the technological evolution, the crimes are also evolving to other sophisticated forms which are harder to prevent.
On the one hand, the incidence of crime is significantly decreasing with the assistance of high tech. Nowadays, the availability of developed technologies is helping citizens and authorities to easily detect unusual activities and protect themselves as well as their property from the robbery. To be more specific, from public to private places such as streets, center malls, shops and houses have security systems installed; for example, the surveillance cameras. These useful equipment benefits to hindering the possible thefts and to identify the stealers. DNA testing and fingerprinting are also supportive tools for the police tracing the culprits. However, most of the crimes which show a descent in number are likely to be the traditional crimes whose active areas can be quickly specified such as fraud, theft, blackmail, forgery,...
On the other hand, we are living in the era of internet; everyone is relying on it for most of activities ranging from chatting to friends to transferring money. This vast network is an appealing target for illegal activities. As a result, the traditional crimes are shifting over to the new form of crime which is cyber crimes. This crime emerged along with the rapid development of the hi-tech; cyber crimes use the internet as a tool to steal information in the individual and nation level, negatively effect on one's reputation and risk the nation finance's health as well. Therefore, the diminishing of the traditional crime can be the sign of the rising of a more dangerous one, cybercrime.
In conclusion, it is true that advanced technology assists in reduce a considerable number of traditional-offenders, there is still challenging to arrest the new high - profile cybercrime whose damage can be within a large scale.@Krystal318
First and foremost, the usage of the word would be depending on the context. You can mention the crime if you are talking about a specific instance. You can say a crime if it's in a broader sense. Really, this is all about trying to figure out the specifications of the details you wish to portray.
In addition to this, I think that your sentences are quite stretched thin in some instances. This means that you should try to be as straightforward as possible to ensure that you do not get lost in translation. Now, having said that, I suggest approaching your writing this way to have more an organic form.
Let's revise a few parts of your essay in accordance.
There has been a dramatic decline in the number of offenders compared to the past. Although I believe that technological improvements have contributed to this, crimes are also evolving into more complicated forms. This has made them harder to prevent.
[...] Nowadays, the availability of technology has helped citizens and authorities detect unusual activities to protect their properties from robbery. Specifically, the installation of surveillance cameras for security purposes has made public and private spaces safer. [...]
Try to avoid being repetitive with your words. This will not benefit you in the long-run because you'll end up not optimizing the space you have in your essay.
Best of luck as always!
Maria i've learned a lot from you like try to write "the more specific the better". I usually think that the words are more complicated/rare or something likt that and longer paragraph that will benefit my essay but no. Only make it simple, corrected and make it understandable, and precise.... Thanks for your useful info madam!
