The advances in air travel are focused only for the upper class

TOPIC:
The advances in air travel are focused only for the upper class and this seems to have left others with no benefit.

Do you agree or disagree?

It is sometimes debated that advances in air travel only bring benefits to the upper class, and this industry tends to ignore the benefits of others. While I agree with this statement, I believe that the advances in air travel can help poor people.

On the one hand, the advances in air travel lead to drawbacks for poor people. Firstly, the aviation industry is associated with the tiredness of low-income people. To be more specific, poor people who want to go to an airplane have to queue, while rich people can gain support from airplane companies with a private path for VIP guests. Therefore, this trend helps rich people to save a lot of time and energy. Secondly, the aviation industry plays a key role in protecting the health of rich people. Nowadays, the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic rapidly has spread all over the world, and rich people tend to use private jets to avoid contact with this dangerous disease. In contrast, poor people tend to travel by low-cost flights, which is more likely to suffer from the COVID-19 virus.

On the other hand, advances in air travel bring benefits to poor people. Apparently, using aviation services has positive impacts on saving time for low-income people. Undoubtedly, commuting by airplane can be considered the safest and fastest way in the world, and airline companies pay attention to cutting ticket fares to hook low-income people. Therefore, low-income people can take advantage of this trend to travel by planes, which helps them to save a lot of time.

In conclusion, air travel is responsible for the drawbacks of poor people; however, this development also results in benefits for them.

P/S: Please give me some advice, thanks in advance!

The opening paraphrase should, as much as possible never contain any keywords from the original prompt. That means there need to be alternative reference to air travel (overseas tours, plane movement, air sightseeing, etc.), upper class (rich, people who can afford to travel, affluent members of society, etc.), and benefits (gain, perks, etc). Your opinion is contradictory. Either you agree or disagree. You cannot do both. There is no "I agree with both sides" option in your response choices. You should pick only one side to defend since this is NOT:

- an extent essay
- a comparative essay

So the main problem with your presentation is the lack of a clear opinion in the discussion. Rather than discussing and defending only one side of the issue, you opted to try and agree with both. A decision that will reflect a score that means you do not have a clear opinion presented in the essay. You are not discussing the essay based on the required or expected format so the essay may not get an impressive overall score in the end.