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IELTS TASK 2 : ADVANTAGE AND DISADVANTAGE OF GOING TRAVELLING FOR A YEAR THEN GO TO UNIVERSITY


luantran 1 / 3  
Nov 20, 2020   #1
In some countries , young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finish highschool and starting University.

Discuss both advantages and disadvantages.



In some countries , nowadays , young people tend to go travelling or go for a part-time job for one year instead of attending University immediately after finishing high school. I belive that it will pay divedents for them . However , it still has some drawbacks.

Firstly , people who have a part time job before studying in University will have more experience than who don't. It is believed that people who has experience will perfome better in University because , in some cases , they can use their experience to prepare for subjects which they are going to take next year. For example , working at the restaurant or a hotel can give you useful practical knowledge in Hospitality subject.

Moreover , some students decide to go travelling after completing their studies in highschool. They believe that going travel is the best way to relax after a long , stressful time preparing for final exam in highschool. They will feel more comfortable and less stressful. And the more you feel comfortable , the better your perfomance in University will be. They can choose to visit their relatives who live apart from them for a year. After that , they will spend a hundred percent of their mind as well as time on studying.

Nevertheless, stop studying for a year can be a disadvantage and slowdonwn your studying process which will lead to late graduation. This means that students can graduate and have a full time job one year later than standard.Therefore , your goals in the future will be effected . For instance , they can waste a lot of opportunities in one year. Meanwhile , their friends are doing a good job , having more relationships and you are studying at University.

In conclusion, although going travelling and having a part time job can help you to relax and earn more experience in order to prepare for your next step of studying , it will cause some disadvantages such as late graduation.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,709 3055  
Nov 20, 2020   #2
Your essay will be scored less because you are adding to the discussion instructions that were originally provided. Every time you change the discussion instructions, either by adding or removing an instruction reference, you will get percentage deductions in the TA score. This essay does not ask for your personal opinion, yet you provided one. The parts of that essay that pertain to that discussion will be ignored and deducted from your final score. Your essay will end up being only 238 words, when only the relevant discussion points are considered. That means, a percentage of point deductions will be applied on your 335 word writing. Please remember to always follow the instructions. Proving that you can follow the discussion instructions will get you a better score than writing an irrelevant essay discussion.

In this essay you should try to follow the following format for the 2 reasoning paragraphs:
Sentence 1: Dis/Advantage topic
Sentence 2: Explanation
Sentence 3: Transition sentence
Sentence 4: Connected Dis/Advantage topic
Sentence 5: Supporting explanation that strengthens the 2 Dis/Advantages presented

One paragraph for the advantage, one paragraph for the disadvantage, following the above discussion format will surely get you a better score than this presentation which does not follow the required discussion format.
OP luantran 1 / 3  
Nov 20, 2020   #3
@Holt
Hi , i really appreciate it . Thank you very much . But in my writing , i am trying to show that i am discussing about disadvantages and advantages , as you can see the 1st paragrah is the first advantage , the 2nd one is the next advantage , the 3rd one is the disadvantage . Is it not okay to write like that ? Thank you very much and i hope that you will comment to my writing next time . Thank you!


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