Advantages and disadvantages of changing jobs IELTS writing task2

Advantages and disadvantages of changing jobs

with the progression in all aspects. A host of humans, in order to get rich, desire to change their jobs to earn as much as possible. However, it's not facile to conduct this. Because of this arduous problem, you must attempt to overcome it. In this essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of changing jobs.

Let's begin by looking at the positive aspects of changing jobs. One of the major advantages is definitely increased pay and promotion opportunities. For instance, if you feel undervalued at your current job, it can affect your morale and your ability to perform at your highest level. Moving to a new job might be the best way to transfer to the next stage in your career. Secondly, changing your job can allow you to broaden your horizons. What I mean by this is that you can make new friends and obtain new experiences. From that, you can become more rounded as a person.

Turning to another side of the argument, the disadvantage that you might be faced with is starting a new life from scratch. You might embark with no experience. Furthermore, to be uncomplicated, you must adapt to conditions, people, and so on.

In conclusion, there are clearly both ups and downs to changing jobs. While doing this can be a chance to improve your life, for many people there would be a challenge to cope with. If you got the right attitude, changing careers would be a huge success in your life.

The first paragraph starts off as highly confusing since the opening sentence is hanging, with a verb but without a subject. It also goes against general English writing rules since the first word was not capitalized. There is also an over usage of inappropriate advanced vocabulary. The chosen words are not part of everyday English use.

It also uses the pronoun "you" which is not really acceptable since the reference pronoun suggested is first rather than second person. There is no clear opinion provided via a 2 topic reasoning summary either. The prompt restatement and personal opinion paragraph are not correctly presented to the examiner.

The writer has a consistent GRA error where he keeps referring to a second person (you) when the pronoun usage requirement is "I" and its variations since the instruction is to "Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience." The keyword of the instruction being " your", indicating a first pronoun use throughout the essay. There will be score reductions as the writer does not reflect an understanding of pronoun applications in essay writing.

1. The first paragraph has too many sentences which are meaningless and don't fit in the situation of the paragraph and the essay itself, by putting inappropriate words, the writer will surely get a failing score. Moreover, the purpose of the first paragraph is to paraphrase the topic and give out what you are going to say.

2. The structures of the second paragraph are highly wrong, you should follow the steps in each body
main point - support - example - minor point - support/example

3. The third paragraph is too short to be a proper, well-constructed part of the essay. Same above, you should apply those steps.

-Same above, you must change the pronoun "you" into other pronouns, such as people, human beings, they,...