studying a new language since primary school
Could anyone advise should I also talk about the disadvantages of learning foreign language at secondary school as well OR it fine for me to only focus on discussing the advantages and disadvantages of learning foreign language at primary school only?
I aim at band 6.5, how far is my writing from this score? How can I improve to get this score?
Greatly appreciate your help for checking my essay and answering my question.
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Lately, increasing number of students start to study a new language at primary school instead of secondly school. In my opinion, this trend has more advantages than disadvantages.
There are several benefits that children can enjoy by learning a foreign language at primary school. Firstly, primary school students have more spare time to study things other than the compulsory subjects in school. In general, the teaching schedule of primary school is less packed than the one in secondary school. They usually have less homework and tests that means they have sufficient time do to revision and exercises after taking the foreign language lesson which are fundamental steps for a beginner to master the language. Secondly, primary education is mainly aim at exploring the interest and talents of a kid, many researches proof that it is the best and most efficient timing for children to learn a new language. Finally, there is no doubt that it takes many years for an individual to become sophisticated in using a language, the earlier a child start studying the language, the earlier they can master the language and enjoy the advantage brought by that.
Admittedly, there is minor problem for primary student to learn a new language. Hardly could we become an expert of a language by simply memorizing the vocabularies and sentence structure. It also required the capability in using wide range of grammar in a flexible way which is obviously a too advance task for a primary school children.
In conclusion, I believe that the advantages of studying a new language since primary school outweighed the disadvantages.
please understand the question first, then you will get the answer that what you should be focusing on while writing. The question is: Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Answer will be either Yes or No. If yes then the benefits of learning foreign language at primary level is more than at the secondary level, otherwise vice versa. . You don't need to write any thing about the disadvantages of learning foreign language at secondary school.
In order to get 7, you must follow the rules to produce a standard introduction. 1. Paraphrase the statement and 2. give your opinion. Here you didn't rephrase the statement. There are few ways of restating the statement. please learn those in order make the paraphrasing fun. I would have written the introduction as follows:
It is believed by some scholars that learning foreign language is more useful for children at elementary school than at secondary level. In my opinion, I believe that benefits of acquiring foreign language at primary level outweighs it's drawbacks as offsprins are more receptive at early stage of life and they tend to have more time to learn as compared to the secondary school life.
A standard essay requires you to outline the key points at the introduction to make the reader anticipate what is coming next.
As you are of the opinion to support the advantages and writing the advantages at the first body paragraph, then start your firtst body paragraph by writing like this:
Despite the drawbacks below, I believe the benefits for children to learn an international language are more due to having more spare time after school. .....
you started the second body paragraph well... but I would recommend to add some more lines ,, you wouldn't be penalise for writing equal number of words for disadvantages, it depends on the type of language you use to emphasis more on advantages rather than word count.
For conclusion, you have to summerise the points you explained in the essay and convey your opinion.
In conclusion, being able to learn a foreign language effectively by entering into the process at elementary education far outweigh any minor drawbacks that could result from starting the learning process late at secondary level.
It looks like you're struggling with the outline of this type of topic. Here is my suggestion for this kind of essay, I hope it helps.
1/ Some general ideas about your essay.
You didn't convey the idea clearly in the introduction paragraph and this affects affect the connection of the paragraphs. Your arguments are vague and the length between paragraphs isn't equal, this will negatively affect your score. You add too many ideas in one paragraph and don't develop them fully, which will lower your mark regarding CC and TA.
2/ Recommended outline and generate ideas.
To deal with this kind of question, you need to ask yourself that you support which idea and point out advantages and disadvantages when learning a foreign language AT PRIMARY SCHOOL.
For example (base on your ideas and my opinion):
+ Advantage: they have less homework and more time to revise the lessons => consolidate the fundamental knowledge, which is helpful for advance learning (strong advantage)
+ Disadvantage: memorize vocabulary and grammar structures won't help primary students use the language effectively => learn the language naturally by imitating (this is an argument indicating that the disadvantage is not a big deal)
=> The advantage outweighs the disadvantage
=> You need to mention both the reasons why the advantage outweighs the disadvantage after you paraphrase the topic in your introduction. This question doesn't ask "GIVE YOUR OPINION", so you should avoid using "in my opinion" in the writing.
So the introduction will look like this: "Paraphrase the topic. What is the advantage, and what is the disadvantage? The advantage far outweighs the disadvantage" - 3 sentences and don't mention "I", "In my opinion", etc.
Each body paragraph, you need to develop how the advantage and the disadvantage will be to illustrate why one outweighs another. You shouldn't write too many advantages and disadvantages, they won't help.