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IELTS Essay, Advantages and disadvantages living in a house and apartment


asmy 3 / 7 3  
Nov 20, 2013   #1
Please comment on my essay below. Many thanks.

Essay Question: Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment ?

Apartments are proliferating in many modern countries especially in urban areas. Some people in favour of living in a landed house whereas others think that living in an apartment has more benefits. Nevertheless, living either in a house or an apartment is of a mixed blessing.

Firstly, the predominant benefit of living in a house is more spacious. It has bigger compound such as own car park space and some property even comes with a garden. Furthermore, living in such a big house with more room is more comfortable and cozy. Besides, people can live with extended family which is more boisterous. However, the price of a house is undoubtedly more expensive and even twofold of an apartment. Thus, it is generally agreed that this kind of property is only suitable for people who are more affluent.

On the other hand, living in a high-rise apartment can enjoy spectacular views. Apart from this, its affordable price often become the viable option for low and medium income group. What is more, some apartments are equipped with security guard service and a mini gym. Although the rooms' size of an apartment is relatively small and the kitchen and bath rooms are usually cramped, it can be homogenous living in an apartment with smaller nuclear family.

On the whole, living in a house or an apartment has its own pros and cons and neither of this outweigh each other. The decision to live in the type of accommodation is hinge on individual's preference, and their needs are bound to change over time.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Nov 20, 2013   #2
Apartments are proliferating in manymodern countries especially in urban areas.

... why do you say modern countries? Countries are the same old ones. There can be modern cities, but not modern countries.

Some peopleare in favour of living in a landed house whereas others think that living in an apartment has more benefits.

...pay attention to grammar.

Nevertheless, living either in a house or an apartment is of a mixed blessing.

.... this is very confusing. You need to write a sentence that clearly states your opinion.

Firstly, the predominant benefit of living in a house is more spacious.

First, the most prominent benefit of living in one's own house is that it is much more spacious than an apartment unit.
pakias 5 / 14  
Nov 20, 2013   #3
I do think that you should develop and support more your ideas as while I was reading, I felt like you were listing. Good luck!
OP asmy 3 / 7 3  
Nov 20, 2013   #4
Hi, thanks for your comment.
May I further clarify something:

1) what is wrong with "Some people are in favour of..." ?
I read a sample sentence from dictionary "Not many people are in favour of using..."

2) Yes, you are right, I should use modern cities and not countries.
But just curious that will I lose marks in the exam ?

3) I know that I'm quite poor in grammar.
Do this essay has any obvious grammatical errors ?

Appreciate if you could enlighten me.
Thanks in advance.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Nov 20, 2013   #5
1) what is wrong with "Some people are in favour of..." ?
I read a sample sentence from dictionary "Not many people are in favour of using..."

There is nothing wrong with both. They are both grammatically correct.

2) Yes, you are right, I should use modern cities and not countries.
But just curious that will I lose marks in the exam ?

Well... they follow a marking scheme and I hope you would get an idea about how you will be marked if you visit the following website;

ielts.org/PDF/UOBDs_WritingT2.pdf

3) I know that I'm quite poor in grammar.
Do this essay has any obvious grammatical errors ?

Ok, there are a few I too find in this essay. They may be careless mistakes and overall, this essay is not one with bad grammar :) However, pay attention to not making any grammar mistake because it is something serious when it comes to scoring :)


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