Topic:
In some countries, criminal trials are shown on TV for the publics.
Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
People in many nations can watch court hearings on television. In my opinion, the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks. Although some people think that this kind of TV program is not suitable for some audience, showing court cases on television helps improve public knowledge about law and creates a deterring effect against criminal acts.
Showing court hearing to the public will help improve knowledge about the law. Many crimes happened because the criminals did not know that what they were doing was illegal as well as the consequence of their behavior. As a result, showing criminal cases publicly will educate ordinary people on the wrong acts. Furthermore, this will also create a deterring effect because people can learn that if they do something unlawful, they will receive a punishment. For example, in Vietnam, there is a program called "the Verdict" which reproduces some typical criminal hearings. It explains and analyzes why the criminal acts were illegal, how it affected the whole society, and the penalty when committing this crime thus, it encourages people to be law-abiding citizens.
However, many people criticize that these TV programs are not suitable for some groups of audiences like young children. Underage audiences are not mature enough to understand the whole case and they can be obsessed with the violent details in the crime. This can lead to mental health problems. However because this disadvantage can be solved by choosing an appropriate show time and create warnings on the minimal age to see the program, it is minor compared to the advantages.
In conclusion, it seems that showing court trials to the public brings more advantages than disadvantages. This helps improve the awareness of the public about the law and reduce the rate of crime.Suggestions;
1) Make it a five paragraph essay (if allowed) by elaborating on 'access to information' in one para and 'deterring effect' in another.
2) Use synonyms more. For instance, the 'howevers' in the third para could be replaced with 'On the other hand' or 'Conversely'
3) Some normal sentence structuring mistakes like, for instance, the line ; /.../ can be clearer by writing it as /Many crimes ... was illegal AND WHAT THE CONSEQUENCES OF SUCH BEHAVIOR WOULD BE/
