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IELTS; Advantages and disadvantages of students working or travelling during gap year


Nazma 1 / -  
May 7, 2013   #1
Topic: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.


Now a days it is quite common for young people in many countries break the studies after graduating from higher school level.On the one hand ,it is not problem for those students who want to travel, if there are no money problem. Also it is evident among poorer student who want to work become economically independent for a period of time.On the other hand, this terms may create problem, if there have no possibility to back study.However, i believe that, this terms have powerful effects for young students who do this.

This trend for young people to travelling may introduce new people,locality,and country.Young people who passes directly to school are gather general knowledge and experience about the world which is important for their study.By contrast,those student who spent time earning money for living or travelling to other places have a clear and broad view of life and better personal resources draw up.Perhaps, they want to work become independent,which is important factor for their academic and research work.It is more advantages for coping with challenges their student life.They build up their extra knowledge.Travelling as well as giving their strong communication facilities with different people.

However, this create danger to break off the important age.Young adult who take this may loose their session. Moreover,they may decrease or loose egarness for study.Consequently,they finding it difficult to re adapt to an academic environment. Thereby they think that it is better to continue a particular job,even they to do something different university course.They may break their study,when academic qualification are essential for getting a perfect or reasonable career.

To sum up,my view is that young people should encourage to travel and this is the best for them.They get a clear idea of what they want to do with their lives and why.This way are most effective motivated ones to break off a year to gain this.And of course concentrate their study so that they can live perfectly in their life.
nada english 2 / 6 1  
May 7, 2013   #2
Nowadays = now a days
no money problem / I think it is better to say finantial problems

good essay
homsai 11 / 24 5  
May 7, 2013   #3
Now a days

Nowadays,

higher school level.

high school

it is not a problem

if there are no money problem

if they do not have financial problems.

among poorer students

this terms

? confuse me

I don't think it was a very good introduction paragraph.
Maybe reform the topic circumstance and briefly introduce that it has pros and cons.
After that, in the body paragraphs write those in detail.
eileenalien 8 / 20 4  
May 8, 2013   #4
There are some grammar problems in your essay.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
May 13, 2013   #5
Now a days it is quite common for young people in many countries break the studies after graduating from higher school level.

Now a days it is very common for young people to have a break after high school graduation until they begin their university career.

On the one hand ,it is not problem for those students who want to travel, if there are no money problem.

... this sounds as if you are going a little out of topic. The topic is about;

....you are supposed to talk about advantages and disadvantages of this trend and you better focus more on that


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