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What are the advantages and disadvantages of traveling by air?


Kristy Nguyen 2 / 3 1  
Oct 3, 2014   #1
Nowadays, there are many means of transport to travel around the world such as train, ship,car, airplane, ect. Almost all people choose airplane. But in fact, it has both advantages and disadvantages.

Traveling by air brings us many advantages. First of all, it is fast. We can travel to anywhere in few hours. If we travel by car or ship, it will take few days. Secondly, we have many comforts. We can listen to music, read books or play games on the plane. Thirdly, the plane has much convenience. The flight attendants are always friendly, we can "call" them when we need. Moreover, some meals on the plane taste well.

On the other hand, we cannot deny the negative impact traveling by air will bring. Firstly, the cost of the tickets is not cheap, especially travel to other country or other continent. It amounts to hundreds of dollars or even millions. In addition, we cannot be able to see beautiful sights on the way. The sights below become very small, cities are small, mountains are small too, everything is small. But when we travel by ship or car, we can see all beautiful sights. Finally, it maybe able to contract disease, it can spread the diseases best. You can be contracted a virus that appeared from the other continent.

In conclusion, there are both pros and cons of traveling by air. People should choose the suitable means and that means suits their standard.

Thanks for reading my essay. Please give me score such as A+, A, A-, B+, B, B-, etc and correct the essay. Thanks so much, again.
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Oct 3, 2014   #2
Kristy, I would give this essay a C because of the lack of proper essay formatting and haphazard discussion presented within the essay. You do not follow the Introduction, Body, Conclusion (IBC) rules of essay writing and you did not really work on properly developing your reasons in an academic manner. The reasons that you present are also very shallow and lack clarity. A sample of a problem statement of yours is as follows:

First of all, it is fast. We can travel to anywhere in few hours.

You can do the same thing by car. You should have instead said "We can travel to another country in a few hours", which is something that cannot be done by car.

Firstly, the cost of the tickets is not cheap, especially travel to other country or other continent. It amounts to hundreds of dollars or even millions.

This is an exaggeration. Who is spending millions to travel these days? It may amount into the thousands or hundreds of thousands, but no person will spend a million in travel tickets. That kind of airplane bill comes from traveling all over the world in a private jet. Even then it may still be an exaggeration. Be truthful with all your statements. Do not say something just for dramatic effect. That ruins the possibility of getting a good essay grade.

In conclusion, there are both pros and cons of traveling by air. People should choose the suitable means and that means suits their standard.

This conclusion needs more work. An effective conclusion will restate your essay prompt, your point of view and summarize the facts that you presented.
I hate to say it Kristy but you need to rewrite the essay in totality if you want to get a better grade on this. Take the essay seriously and do some research and try to present yourself academically. Right now the essay sounds like you just wanted to get it over with so you just wrote anything that came to mind or whatever you heard from others. That does not paint you in a good light as a student.
Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Oct 3, 2014   #3
ughh, this essay has a long way to get b or a, try to do some research in order to broaden your view and perspective.
maryailt 4 / 10 1  
Oct 4, 2014   #4
I think it is short
OP Kristy Nguyen 2 / 3 1  
Oct 4, 2014   #5
Thank you for your comment. It really helps me. That was the first essay in my life so I just don't know how to write in a good way. I will improve on the next time


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