gap year dilemma
It is true that some students who finish high-school opt to work or travel for a period before they start university. While I accept that there are benefits and drawbacks of this decision in terms of their studies, I would argue that it is better to take a year out to work or travel.
It is true that taking a gap year before higher education to get more time for a casual job or going abroad is becoming more and more popular. Despite some obvious disadvantages of this trend, I strongly believe that these are outweighed by the advantages.
On the one hand, there are two major drawbacks when people decided to take a gap year. Firstly, the expense to go abroad these day are expensive due to plane tickets or living costs of a different country. For example, going to Australia from Vietnam would cost about 15-20 millions vnđ, not mentioning the living costs. Even working inland, the income from the jobs would not be sufficient enough to live independently thus adult still have to pay most of your expense. Secondly, a gap year will disrupt existing study habit since school is not a part of gap year. From studying to working then studying will make people feel overwhelmed by the constant changing environment. In addition, when coming back for a gap year, people tend to feel like they are slower and older than their friends who do not take a gap year.
On the other hand, I believe that the benefit are more significant than such disadvantages. One reason for this view is that, the experiences people get from a gap year is enormous. Take going abroad as an example, people will have to adapt to the new environment that they never seen before, have to meet with strangers of different languages, have to learn how to solve problems independently. From there, they will accumulate various skillset to use before becoming a student. Another reason for this is that, a gap year will prevent student from burning out and help them to perform better when studying in the university since they can feel free from stress.
In conclusion, it seems to me that the advantages of taking a short break or a gap year are more significant than the disadvantages.
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Please note that you will not be able to write 328 words during the actual 40 minute test. Time yourself next time and make sure you write a prompt adherent essay. What you currently have is a prompt deviant essay that does not respond to the task in the correct format.This is a general comparative essay. It is to be written without a writer's opinion since one is not asked for in the writing instruction provided.
This essay discussion is already 50% incorrect. The writer further adds to the non-passing marks for the essay as he combines other discussion formats in the presentation such as an extent response and a corroborative statement where none is required. Due to the incorrect discussion representations, it will be difficult to gain a passing mark.
A lengthy essay is not useful when the content does not meet the scoring requirements. English comprehension skills as evidenced by a correct and applicable response format is imperative and must be proven to pass this test.
Imo, the writer's essay is a little bit too long, so try to time yourself and cut down on the word limits. The second paragraph shouldnt be alone like that. You can combine the two first para together.
The arguments are a bit hard to read, it's too overwhelming, consider changing that.
That's what i think lol have a good day