living in a large city or in a small town
Nowadays, young people tend to focus on big cities to live and work. The difference in population density ratio between urban and rural areas is very high. This has resulted in the creation of many mega cities over 1000 people/km2. Why do big cities have such a special attraction?
The first main reason definitely is convenience in public transportation system. In big cities, there are many bus stops and train stations in streets. The fees are cheap for people who don't afford to buy private vehicles to use. People can save money to spend on other things such as: buying houses, shopping, learning to improve themselves,... Moreover, public transportation system is safe enough for student to go to school without parents, so they can save time to do housework or any else.
The another main reason that living in a large city is good is many kinds of entertainments for people to relax after hard working or studying. There are a lot of shopping centres and supermarket which can satisfy their shopping pasion. In this centres, various goods appear and are refilled everyday. Furthermore, people can join a lot of other activities such as: going to parks, going to cinemas, going to gym centres, .... They also hang out together in famous restaurant at weekend. It is interesting for young people to reduce stress.
The final main reason is highly quality of life in large city. Because of development in finances of big cities, the government built many modern facilities such as: school or universities, hospitals, governments agencies, companies... People can access to fascinating job opportunities and the best educations. Children are studied in a good condition and have many dynamic environments to improve themselves.
In conclusion, although living in a large city has some disadvantages, with these main reasons, this is still a good choice. However, more and more people move from rural to urban areas. We need to have some solutions to control this situation and we should join hands for better life.
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Hmmm... Are you writing this essay in response to a Task 2 IELTS test? Or are you just writing an English exercise based on word familiarization? I am currently uncertain as to how to approach the review of your work because of the confusion as to the purpose of your writing. Kindly refer us to the original prompt next time and identify if this is for an English test so that the proper approach to reviewing your work can be done.
If you are writing a Task 2 essay, you do not need to use researched information such as the number of people per square mile in a mega-city. Nor do you need to pose a question at the end of the paraphrase. You just need to restate the topic and the discussion instruction. However, if you are writing an English exercise, then, good work on producing relevant researched information.
A research paper should be over 250 words. A Task 2 essay, needs to be between 275-290 words for maximum scoring potential. 250 is the bare word minimum. Adjust your presentation accordingly, depending upon which type of essay you are trying to present.
Be careful of your spelling. The word is spelled "passion" not "pasion". When referring to a daily activity, use the description "every day", 2 words, not one. You cannot use ellipses after a comma. You must use only one applicable punctuation mark at a time. In academic writing, students are advised not to use ellipses. These are more often used to connote emotions in creative writing instead.
Contractions are a big no-no in both academic and Task 2 writing styles. You know what I mean, don't = do not. Use formal English references at all times in a show of respect to your reader. Hence, hang out = spend time There are actually more errors to point out but I am already running too long with this piece of advice so I have to cut myself off here. I hope you can appreciate that advice I have given you. I look forward to reading your next paper, this time with the proper identification and/or prompt requirements for a more proper review.
Thank you very much. My writing is very bad, so I just write this thread to practice and want to take someone's advice. I know I need to try my best more. I will be more careful in vocabularies when I write. The first time I have been taken detail advice and I really appreciate your enthusiasm.