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'advantages outweigh annoyance' - people have a close friendship with their pets


thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Sep 17, 2009   #1
Recently, some animals such as birds, dogs, cats and so on have appeared in families more commonly, and they are often looked after by their bosses as members in their families. It is believed that having pets in household has many advantages, which will be approved by analyzing several reasons below.

First of all, having pets such as dogs, cats are very good for children. Nowadays, parents are often busy with their work, and of course, the more work they do, the less time they have for their own children. When they breed pets in their houses, their children can play with them, and their parents have more time for doing homework. Playing with pets children can learn many things from them; moreover, in stead of playing lonely, being in isolated, they become happy.

In addition, not only good for children, having pets in families can brings many benefits for adults. In the 21st century, people always try to do more work in less time; consequently, they don't have enough time for meeting friends. Many people like talking to their pets as their friends in space time, which they believe that can help them reduce stress, tension, anxiety. Especially, with people who live alone they always treat pets as their friends, relatives, members in their families. They often do every thing with pets: having meals, watching television, even go to bed together. For them, pets are a part of their lives.

Last but not least, pets sometimes save people' lives. In some emergency cases, people can not manage by them selves, ask a hand from others; however, their pets fortunately can help them to respond in time. For example, my grandmother has heart disease and whenever this disease is active, she often gets faint. I do remember that was 2 years ago, when my grandmother went to bed, while the rest members in my families were watching film in the living room. Suddenly, my dog barked so loudly that we startled, and I felt some things happened. Then I ran into my grandmother's bed room immediately, she was lying on the floor and we took her to hospital. Thanks to my dog, it saved my grand mother.

To sum up, making decision to have pets in families is wise. Although, sometimes they can make us annoyed, I believe that advantages outweigh annoyance.

Llamapoop123 7 / 442  
Sep 17, 2009   #2
For what purpose are you writing this essay?

^Say what? Bosses? Animals have bosses? You mean that you believe that having pets in the household has advantages.

First of all, having pets such as dogs, cats are very good for children..

^Pretty weak point since pets take up a fair amount of time to take care of anyway. Are you saying that dogs are not good for children? "their parents have more time for doing homework." Parents don't have homework...unless they are in college. Pets can teach children? Really?

In the 21st century, people always try to do more work in less time; consequently, they don't have enough time for meeting friends.

^This is something that is unique to the 21st century huh?

Although, sometimes they can make us annoyed, I believe that advantages outweigh annoyance.

^No...don't use this as a conclusion.
litingjiao 7 / 24  
Sep 17, 2009   #3
Many people like talking to their pets as their friends in space time,

I guess you mean spare time :)
I know this Toefl topic. I think the topic discusses whether the relationships between some people and their pets are too close. You try to tell readers that having a pet at home is good, but you didn't give strong arguements. The third reason is better but the first two are pretty weak.

I'd say pets are great but nowadays people are keeping their pets too close. Some even sleep with pets. That's not sanitary because animals have many harmful bacteria. Also isn't it better for children to play with their peers? Besides, adults who have a lot of pets but not many friends are sometimes considered pathetic, especially single adults :)
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Sep 18, 2009   #4
I know this Toefl topic.

Right. This is a TOEFL essay, so let's look at grammar.

Playing with pets children can learn many things from them; moreover, in stead of playing lonely, being in isolated, they become happy.

Revision:
Children can learn many things by playing with pets. Moreover, instead of feeling lonely and isolated, they feel happy.

Many people like talking to their pets as their friends in space time, which they believe that can help them reduce stress, tension, anxiety.

Since everything happens in space-time, I'm going to assume you mean "spare time." So, revision:
Many people like talking to their pets as friends in their spare time; this helps them to reduce stress, tension, and anxiety.

Then I ran into my grandmother's bed room immediately, she was lying on the floor and we took her to hospital. Thanks to my dog, it saved my grand mother.

Revision:
I ran immediately into my grandmother's bedroom. She was lying on the floor. We took her to the hospital. Thanks to my dog, we were able to save my grandmother's life.
OP thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Sep 18, 2009   #5
thank you very much, i will try to avoid these mistakes in next essays


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